http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 03:10:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-128178 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 16:38:35 +0000 Ironduke 128178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I awarded this ten stars. Sadly, after processing fees and interest was deducted, you've only ended up with five.</p> <p>I'd cash them in quick, before end-of-month account fee takes it down to three. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-128167 Sat, 30 Jun 2012 13:53:30 +0000 Skylarking 128167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/484414_10150880999316680_726682614_n.jpg" rel="nofollow">https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/484414_10150880999316680_726682614_n.jpg</a> says it all </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-127871 Thu, 28 Jun 2012 10:11:53 +0000 simonjmr 127871@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>British Bankers now upgraded to "Lying Bastards" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-127104 Sun, 24 Jun 2012 08:04:21 +0000 dvo4fun 127104@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yep </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-127102 Sun, 24 Jun 2012 07:58:11 +0000 Yikes 127102@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Deserved FP! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-127087 Sat, 23 Jun 2012 23:03:43 +0000 FlashArry 127087@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great post - and could add the words 'incompetent' , 'gobshite' and 'fuckwits' to the title in light of recent fun and games -</p> <p>Kick 'em while their down </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126949 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 21:44:10 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 126949@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cracking </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126934 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 19:38:43 +0000 Nunnion Splendacular 126934@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aww, cheers guys! Sinnick, your knowledge could have made this work a lot better: Visa charges really bug the hell out of me. Maybe I should stick something in about banks charging a 'green tax' to discourage use of plastic? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126910 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:36:27 +0000 Sinnick 126910@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Having left a bank a few years ago, I really like this sub. It's all true, though, and more. Ever wondered why VISA payments cost so much, when electronic transactions typically cost 0.1p to process ?</p> <p>5* obviously </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126898 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:44:34 +0000 JohnA 126898@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Me likey for FP status </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126890 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 13:54:36 +0000 Duff 126890@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>On the money! Have some loose change on me! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126888 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 13:09:28 +0000 beau-jolly 126888@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wot they said. Jolly good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126886 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 13:06:11 +0000 simonhansen 126886@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126884 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 12:27:53 +0000 dvo4fun 126884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Splendacular! Coffee through the nose stuff.</p> <p>"...Lloyds’ pilfering division..." is my favourite </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126873 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 11:36:18 +0000 Thor 126873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brill. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126858 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 10:01:10 +0000 Yikes 126858@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44346#post-126857 Fri, 22 Jun 2012 09:54:18 +0000 Nunnion Splendacular 126857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s banks are under fire once again, after rating agency Moody’s downgraded them to ‘a shower of bastards’. While investors at HSBC are still regarded by many observers as ‘pondlife’, several other major financial institutions fear they could lose their cherished status of ‘immoral grabbing shitbags’.</p> <p> Industry experts believe that despite their lower rating, wages for investment bankers should remain unaffected. “With the right sort of scam, we should be able to pass any additional costs straight to our customers”, explained Dominic Sharlton of Lloyds’ pilfering division. “In fact, we’ve been running several trial ruses for quite a while now.”</p> <p> With new technology now available to Britain’s high street banks, account holders are rarely sure just how they’re being shafted. “We’ve learned from our mistakes with PPI and miss-selling endowments”, admitted Sharlton. “It really pained us to hand back quite so much money to the people it belonged to. Thankfully, we recovered most of it when we doubled your car insurance.”</p> <p>Key to the sector’s recovery are computer crashes and glitches, coupled with telephone ‘swipecards’ that make ghost payments if it’s damp. “By combining personal banking and IT support into one huge, useless call centre, most of our victims actually believe it’s their fault that we’ve robbed them”, enthused Sharlton. “And all the while it’s costing them £1.20 a minute, plus a small charge for converting the payment into rupees.”</p> <p>International rating agencies had feared that a streak of morality had infected Britain’s banking system, but Sharlton was quick to dismiss the rumour as ‘reckless scaremongering’. “I’d like to reassure the public that we plan to carry on with ‘business as usual’, and if you don't like it, then we know we're on the right track", he confirmed. "There's always room for improvement, and we never stop ducking and diving. Once we've introduced our latest charge for using debit cards in rush hour, I’m confident we’ll be upgraded back to ‘heartless thieving c*nts’. </p>