http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44190 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 03:10:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=44190#post-126449 Mon, 18 Jun 2012 14:36:34 +0000 Radley 126449@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following all of the negative comment about his “Green and pleasant Land” feature of the London Olympics Opening Ceremony, Oscar winning film director, Danny Boyle, has hurriedly changed plans to appease the critics accusing him of “Not being realistic.”<br /> Mr Boyle (55) told Lord Sebastian Coe, in a private telephone call recorded by the Daily Mail, “People want it more real!” In another surprise twist he also asked for an additional £27,000,000. Double Olympic champion and one time Tory MP, Lord Coe questioned him as to where the original money had gone Mr Boyle complained about the cost of local transport and that he'd spent it on tube fares. Seemingly “out of touch” Lord Coe immediately accepted his request for additional funding and put in an order for a fold up bike.<br /> The green and pleasant land scene will now open with the idyllic view of a farmer ploughing his field and digging up a shopping trolly. To the sounds of a riot in the west of the stadium, a white transit van will drive through specially grown bushes before the driver stops and unloads two armchairs, a broken telly, a double mattress and half a ton of plasterboard. A fight will break out in the existing “mosh” pit as a Slipknot tribute act thrash away on the stage, while at the other end in the “Posh” pit several revellers will be uncontrollably sick after consuming too much Pimms. To please animal rights activist Mr Boyle reportedly assured Lord Coe that he would “nick” the concrete cows from Milton Keynes and use the cast of Warhorse to work the goats and a dozen sheep. It is thought a streaker may disrupt the cricket match and the ducks will be stolen by a local restaurant.<br /> It has also been reported that to save money on “expensive” dancers, a Youtube video of a Flash Mob routine is being sent via a link to every ticket holder asking them to perform it for themselves.<br /> Last night Mr Boyle was not available for comment as he was having a “rest” at the $65,000 a night Royal Penthouse Suite, of the Hotel President Wilson, in cost effective Geneva.<br /> We have contacted Lord Coe to ask about the parade of the Athletes and he asked “What’s that?” </p>