http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 04:40:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12526 Thu, 13 May 2010 20:13:01 +0000 Quaz 12526@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Liked this. I like to think that Brown read it and is now thinking "Oh sh*t, I really didn't clear the browser history!" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12459 Thu, 13 May 2010 15:15:46 +0000 Jimmy 12459@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Downing Street sources today have revealed that before hurriedly leaving Number 10, former Prime Minister Gordon Brown had forgotten to clear his Internet Explorer browser cache, leaving successor David Cameron access to his history, saved passwords, favourites, and default form entries.</p> <p>Brown's omission granted also Cameron access to his Hotmail and Twitter accounts. A sweaty, anxious Brown subsequently gathered reporters to issue the following statement: 'Please ignore all messages from me. I do NOT have a tiny penis. If anyone, it is Mr Cameron, who has the tiny penis.'</p> <p>He has also received numerous copies of Caddyshack on DVD, delivered by Amazon.co.uk to his North Queensferry residence. A bemused Brown told reporters 'but I don't even play golf'.</p> <p>The story escalated when an anonymous source leaked the browser's history contents onto the internet. Having sifted through the data, Brown's internet movements during his last few days in office reveal an interesting portrait of the man.</p> <p>Most notably, on the Friday after the election Brown made numerous repeated visits to the wikipedia entries for 'Alternative Vote' and 'Proportional Representation', and proposed the question 'Who would you rather, Gordon or Tony?' on Yahoo Answers. Immediately after announcing his intention to resign on Monday he spent several hours editing his own wikipedia entry, before vandalising David Cameron's, adding 'Dave was made to look silly-bum-biddies compared to Gordon Brown in the general elecetion (sic) leader's debates.'</p> <p>On Saturday he watched half of an episode of 'Dragons Den' on BBC iPlayer, and then spent the rest of the afternoon googling terms such as 'how to start a business' and 'tennis shoe business scotland' giving an impression as to what his plans are next. It also appears Brown is a fan of internet sensation Susan Boyle, and a member of her mailing list.</p> <p>Sources revealed that although he searched hard, Cameron could not find any pornography on the Windows XP based machine. Brown retorted 'Ha, silly Dave, every Scotsman knows to hide all his videos in a folder named Rugby Clips, to hide them from the misses.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12455 Thu, 13 May 2010 15:05:09 +0000 Jimmy 12455@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi, thanks guys, useful pointers; I've just had another stab at restructuring, posted below.</p> <p>As for pairing George with Ask Jeeves... very good! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12437 Thu, 13 May 2010 13:54:14 +0000 Skylarking 12437@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh dear this is turning into a love-in isn't it? I laughed out loud when I read the headline. A great start! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12417 Thu, 13 May 2010 12:51:09 +0000 editor 12417@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent first sub Jimmy and a likely front page. I would get straight to the most embarrassing stuff - (internet readers are not very patient) and save the cleverer bits for those who have stayed with it. Also just note the house style of NewsBiscuit (headline sentance case, single quote marks etc). Why don't you have one more pass at it incorporating the suggestions you agreed with and then post it again below. (There is a time limit to edit your initial subs)</p> <p>But great stuff and welcome to the site! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12390 Thu, 13 May 2010 11:07:42 +0000 Genghis Cohen 12390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea, and agree with the others.</p> <p>I'd lose the second para, and maybe you could finish up with civil servants discovering the favourites and browsing history of Cameron and Osborne. George could have asked Jeeves how to save £160bn, and maybe Cameron was searching for tips on getting to first base on your second date. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12376 Thu, 13 May 2010 09:32:52 +0000 Mrblacker 12376@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed - a worthy start and I'd have to agree with Zadok - bump the jokes to the first third and it's a winner.</p> <p>By the way - welcome along </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12370 Thu, 13 May 2010 09:14:14 +0000 Zadok the second 12370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Morning Jimmy, lovely sub. Maybe a tad too long in my humblest, with some of the best jokes in the second half, but a neat idea, and plenty of scope for pictures. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12308 Wed, 12 May 2010 23:08:55 +0000 AlistairBurns 12308@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great angle to start with and really funny execution. But I'm brand new to this site as well, so what do I know?</p> <p>"Most notably, on the Friday after the election Brown made numerous repeated visits to the wikipedia entries for 'Alternative Vote' and 'Proportional Representation'." Great gag! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12292 Wed, 12 May 2010 21:20:21 +0000 Jimmy 12292@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi there, first post to this site. Any feedback, suggestions, gags or edits more than welcome. Cheers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=4406#post-12291 Wed, 12 May 2010 21:16:42 +0000 Jimmy 12291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>London: Downing Street sources today have revealed that before leaving Number 10, former Prime Minister Gordon Brown had forgotten to clear the browser cache on his Internet Explorer 7 application, leaving successor David Cameron access to his history, saved passwords, favourites, and default form entries. </p> <p>Upon discovery of Brown's omission, an excited Cameron immediately called his best friend and new next-door neighbour, Chancellor George Osborne, into his office and the two browsed through the computer's contents whilst “giggling loudly”, insiders reported. Nick Clegg was reportedly not called to examine the contents of the computer, to which he was markedly disappointed, and walked around huffing for a while until a senior civil servant told Cameron to let Clegg in. </p> <p>The story escalated when an anonymous source leaked the history contents onto the internet. Having sifted through the data, Brown's internet movements during his last few days in office reveal an interesting portrait of the man.</p> <p>Most notably, on the Friday after the election Brown made numerous repeated visits to the wikipedia entries for 'Alternative Vote' and 'Proportional Representation'. Immediately after announcing his intention to resign on Monday he spent several hours editing his own wikipedia entry.</p> <p>We can also reveal that Brown spent two hours on Friday night after the election browsing the website HotOrNot.com, rating the attractiveness of various females, presumably to console himself after his defeat. He then went on to visit Chatroulette.com, but left the site within seconds.</p> <p>On Saturday he watched half of an episode of 'Dragons Den' on BBC iPlayer, and then spent the rest of the afternoon googling terms such as “how to start a business” and “tennis shoe business scotland” giving an impression as to what his plans are next.</p> <p>The saved browser passwords also granted Cameron and Osborne access to Brown's Hotmail and Twitter accounts. Brown subsequently felt compelled to issue the following press statement: “Please ignore all messages from me. I do NOT have a tiny penis.”</p> <p>Though they tried hard, apparently Cameron and Osborne could not find any pornography on the Windows XP based machine. At the time of going to press, the two naughty boys are currently getting ready for bed and therefore couldn't be reached for comment. </p>