http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 03:46:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124547 Wed, 30 May 2012 21:08:01 +0000 arthurminnit 124547@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>me too, and i am not a filthmeister.</p> <p>errr, it appears that i AM a filthmeister. but i would still like to shit on her chest and rub it in.<br /> the miserable bitch is still refusing, even though i now know a dying child.<br /> celebrities really are the scum of the earth. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124482 Wed, 30 May 2012 10:45:09 +0000 JonnyJP 124482@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I preferred the original version though </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124473 Wed, 30 May 2012 08:55:53 +0000 pinxit 124473@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The final NiB version on the front page is superb. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124264 Mon, 28 May 2012 09:26:53 +0000 Oxbridge 124264@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Typical. You do a revised version, then some filthmeister goes and posts his vile fantasies under the original. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124209 Sun, 27 May 2012 16:01:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 124209@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think that's better. Lots of people will probably now tell you they preferred the original though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124197 Sun, 27 May 2012 09:19:37 +0000 Drylaw 124197@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's time more celebrities "put something back". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124176 Sat, 26 May 2012 21:15:20 +0000 dvo4fun 124176@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>very funny chaps, stars all round </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124168 Sat, 26 May 2012 17:58:34 +0000 Perks 124168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I missed the first edit, but love this. *'s for all </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43375#post-124156 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:33:37 +0000 Oxbridge 124156@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As he fought his brave losing battle with leukaemia, 17-year old Kyle Anderson knew what his last wish was. 'I want to be tugged off by Cheryl Cole. That would be the ultimate happy finish', he told his parents. Alas, it was not to be. Kyle died last week and his family are now slating the 'callous' Geordie songbird for letting him leave this world in misery.</p> <p>'We emailed her management - we got no answer. We rang the X-Factor office - they just sniggered,' said Anderson's grieving dad, Brian. 'All she had to bring was her right hand and a friendly smile. We'd have supplied the kleenex. And the cheerleader's uniform. But no, she's obviously too busy to bother with the fans who made her rich and famous these days.'</p> <p>Cole's attitude is symptomatic of an alarming decline in the willingness of pop stars to meet their followers' heartfelt wishes over the past 50 years, says Charles Murray-Jones, Professor of Dappy From N Dubz Studies at the University of Derby. 'The Rolling Stones combined had sex with over 200 groupies on one three-week tour in 1968, even with Charlie Watts lamentable failure to contribute. Today, the likes of Justin Bieber can't even manage one,' he said sadly.</p> <p>Not all celebrities are quite so selfish, however. When she heard of Kyle's plight, Katie Price volunteered to drive over to the hospice, give him a soapy tit wank in the bathroom and stream it live in HD on her website. Unfortunately, she also wanted to sing some tracks from her latest album, which the family saw as a deal breaker, just in case a miracle recovery was in the offing.</p> <p>Brian Anderson remains bitter, partly at the Make A Wish Foundation, which declined to take up his campaign, but mostly at Cheryl Cole.</p> <p>'Kyle worshipped that woman, even though he was diagnosed with leukaemia the same year she married Ashley. That may be a coincidence, I'm just saying. All my lad wanted was a last hand shandy from the nation's sweetheart, but clearly Little Miss Hoity-Toity doesn't care. Well I won't be buying any more of her music and I hope the 17-year-old boys of Britain find someone nicer to wank over. That'll teach her.'</p> <p>[Digitally remastered with the help of master producer VCG. Hat tips to Beau Jolly and cinquecento] </p>