http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 12:36:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124163 Sat, 26 May 2012 17:47:37 +0000 nickb 124163@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fight fight fight! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124161 Sat, 26 May 2012 16:18:36 +0000 JohnA 124161@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It was OK Arthur. To be honest, Wayland made the best criticism, which was that it lacked a lot of jokes at the beginning, and so meant that people had to read most of it to get the idea. Also there's something to the old saw about "brevity being the soul of wit"</p> <p>I'm not bothered by criticism of my writing because not every idea works. Or is even funny. I've criticised some of Wayland's pieces from time to time and he's always been gracious about it.</p> <p>I had fun writing it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124160 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:49:59 +0000 Haywood Manley 124160@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If I were you John I'd be grateful you got any response at all. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124157 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:35:35 +0000 arthurminnit 124157@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>i thought it was ok, till he started to tell us why and how it was funny.<br /> you know you are dealing with a "voices in the head" type, when that happens.<br /> just replace the tinfoil hat, johna, the cia will never find you then! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124155 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:31:51 +0000 arthurminnit 124155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>dont mince words rusty, tell him what you really mean. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124154 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:28:53 +0000 JohnA 124154@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You mean that if I collect all of my "helpful" suggestions into one post, it would make a great FP? Wow I never thought of that... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124153 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:12:11 +0000 rustytruss 124153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Utter Crap means:<br /> You've written a sub which is 100% not funny</p> <p>You blame your readers for not understanding the non-existent subtlety of it</p> <p>Your many "helpful" criticisms of others subs are a total fucking joke </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124149 Sat, 26 May 2012 14:51:22 +0000 JohnA 124149@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm not touchy about it BJ. It's more a matter of whether something that sounds funny to me, also sounds funny to similarly maladjusted anonymous people on the Interwebs. (Clearly not many)</p> <p>I think I wrote something that could properly be called satire rather than a surreal proposition leading to a punchline by way of a few gags. </p> <p>It's not that it isn't funny, its just that its not _obviously_ funny. But it was meant to be satirical rather than hold-my-sides-in funny. Its designed to point out that much of what is supposed to be news reporting in newspapers and media is nothing more than state-supporting propaganda.</p> <p>I will say in passing that a lot of writers here are writing on very safe topics designed not to offend. The subjects tend to be about poor people, the mentally ill and the lowest stratas of society and not the rich and powerful who are the proper objects of satire. </p> <p>All of this isn't to say that I don't appreciate a well crafted one-liner (the one about Ben Fogle crossing the Atlantic cracked me up) or a surreal story with obvious humourous content (Waylandsmithy and VCG are very good at this usually), but that satire on this website is nearly absent to the extent that even Nick Clegg's mother could read it and have a laugh.</p> <p>I wouldn't even wonder which word I misspelled... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124148 Sat, 26 May 2012 14:32:46 +0000 beau-jolly 124148@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A tat harsh Rusty IMHO. It's well written and punctuated, coherent, and has only one spelling mistake. Now <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43371">THIS</a> is crap. I was going to point this out to him but:<br /> A) there's no point making enemies and some can be very touchy<br /> B) The poor chap has not had a single comment on any of his subs - ever. Not for me to break his duck.</p> <p>So there you go. John has obviously got potential as the sub has not been ignored and most people have been willing to offer advise. Mind you John, you may look back in weeks to come and tend to agree more with Rusty - just sayin' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124144 Sat, 26 May 2012 13:59:37 +0000 Perks 124144@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If i'm honest, i think you have to be upfront with the premise of the piece. I don't think it's cras, but it a) is the main joke and b) gives context to the rest of the piece. Then, once thats clear to the reader, any jokes will also make sense. If you leave the reader struggling to get the basis of the story, any jokes or asides are lost. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124141 Sat, 26 May 2012 13:46:01 +0000 JohnA 124141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well that helped. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124140 Sat, 26 May 2012 13:15:43 +0000 rustytruss 124140@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Utter crap </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124136 Sat, 26 May 2012 12:26:57 +0000 JohnA 124136@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's the problem with subtlety and ambiguity - it depends on what you're already thinking. If I made it too obvious, it becomes crass. It's all a matter of degree. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124134 Sat, 26 May 2012 12:01:08 +0000 beau-jolly 124134@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I got it into my mind that it was being spread by a torch so it became confusing. My fault not yours, although a bug being spread by the torch may be a nice angle as it ties in better than a one off day off. Just saying. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124133 Sat, 26 May 2012 11:45:23 +0000 JohnA 124133@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm going to remove about half the paragraphs and see whether it makes a difference. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124132 Sat, 26 May 2012 11:42:42 +0000 JohnA 124132@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Too subtle for most people. I was trying to write a parody of a health issues article that is really about something else.</p> <p>Oh well. Back to the day job. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124131 Sat, 26 May 2012 11:25:53 +0000 Perks 124131@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think the idea it is about people being sick of the jubilee? But with nothing saying that you have to rely on guesswork. More jokes, more comparisons and alot less words it could work. I like the idea, just needs rewriting i think </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124129 Sat, 26 May 2012 11:10:16 +0000 waylandsmithy 124129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No idea what the punchline is, lost interest after fourth consecutive joke-free paragraph. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=43370#post-124127 Sat, 26 May 2012 10:26:59 +0000 JohnA 124127@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Doctors across the UK have become increasingly concerned as a new mystery illness which causes sudden vomiting has spread across the UK in the past few weeks. </p> <p>"We did think that it was a norovirus which is highly infectious and can cause spectacular vomiting", said Dr James Haynes of the UK's Disease Control Centre "but this infection appears to strike only adults and the older teenagers. </p> <p>"Typical onset appears to be quite sudden oesophogeal distress, although some patients had reported some symptoms of nausea for quite some time. One of our patients described it as like someone kneeling on his chest while something was rammed forceably down his throat".</p> <p>Arthur Fisher appears to be a typical example. "I had just finished my favourite supper and was just watching Sky News and I suddenly felt incredibly bilious. Turning over to the BBC just made it worse and before I knew it, I'd vomited on my special Royal copy of the Times. It was awful"</p> <p>"The last time we had a disease similar to this was in September 1997, but I think we were distracted by the death of Princess Diana" said Dr Haynes "which is a shame given the simularities"</p> <p>Treatment appears to be limited to putting the patients in a quiet room and have them listen to music and given regular fluids. Most reported their symptoms being alleviated by listening to American soul music, Bruce Springsteen or even the Sex Pistols.</p> <p>"Nurses have been volunteering their time even at reduced pay to help those afflicted, even though a lot of them have been suffering themselves" said Dr Haynes "It really shows how the Health Service can pull together in a crisis"</p> <p>But with cases still coming in, Dr Haynes worries about overload on consultants. "If this doesn't stop soon, a lot of us won't be able to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee" </p>