http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=430 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 17:57:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=430#post-1235 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:28:28 +0000 malgor 1235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice allegory. Could be scope to squeeze in the odd characterisation of Evans' prowess with the pen in terms of his 'piercing vision', 'cutting remarks', 'sharp wit' and so on? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=430#post-1232 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:06:12 +0000 fernandomando 1232@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tragedy struck today when Julian Evans, renowned author and wit, finally disproved the popularly held belief that the pen is mightier than the sword.<br /> Mr Evans had made a number of slights to noblemen across the country, and he was busy arranging dates and venues for the satisfaction the offended aristocracy demanded. In typically conceited fashion, he had promoted the events on his blog, facebook and twitter accounts, and had billed the series of envisaged resolutions as being the ‘conclusive proof of the dominance of the written word over all else’. Unfortunately, his claims were to be sharply refuted.<br /> The first meeting, unfortunately, was to be the last. Having arranged a tour of the South Coast of England, he had decided to begin with a meeting between himself and the 3rd Earl of Shanklin. At 6am on the cliffs above Shanklin Chine, on the Isle of Wight. Evans and Shanklin chose their weapons. The Earl of Shanklin chose the duelling rapier. Julian Evans chose a Waterman pen and notepad.<br /> The two men stood twenty paces apart in a square marked with handkerchieves. Each side’s doctor and honourable seconds were at the ready. The signal for the start of the duel was made, and both Evans and Shanklin set about their combat.<br /> Evans got off to a promising start, quickly composing three stanzas of verse which parodied the later part of Shanklin’s career, but it was not enough. He was midway through the composition of a stinging rebuke of Shanklin’s family name when Shanklin’s rapier cut through his notebook, his chest, and ended the beating of his heart. Evans’s doctor and seconds raced to his side, but nothing could be done. As the sun rose over Shanklin Bay, so the delusional conceit and incomprehensible faith of Julian Evans ended. </p>