http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 08:01:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-122496 Sat, 12 May 2012 22:39:07 +0000 MADJEZ 122496@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>Can I point out that "Sex Gang Restaurant" is a great name for a band?<br /> </blockquote></p> <p>Er.... 'Sex Gang Children' was an 80s goth band if that helps... or am I showing my age. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-122469 Sat, 12 May 2012 11:08:16 +0000 thisisall1word 122469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bravo Sir. Really very very funny. And don't call me chief but, yes, I would like chilli sauce with that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-122464 Sat, 12 May 2012 10:34:09 +0000 JohnA 122464@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I, on behalf of the Newsbiscuit editors, would like to apologize to all Muslim readers offended by this article and would like to give a hand of friendship - which previously belonged to Gary Stanton. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-122023 Thu, 10 May 2012 11:14:22 +0000 rickwestwell 122023@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can I point out that "Sex Gang Restaurant" is a great name for a band? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121997 Thu, 10 May 2012 10:43:26 +0000 rickwestwell 121997@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like your style, Stanton. You know they can't use this here, but that doesn't stop you. :-) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121927 Wed, 09 May 2012 22:22:01 +0000 The All New Jeni B 121927@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Turn it into an opinion piece by Samantha Brick about how she's so attractive a sex-ring have never had to drug her into having sex.<br /> Or how this is the sort of thing that happens all the time to pretty people like her and how less attractive women don't understand. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121918 Wed, 09 May 2012 21:02:20 +0000 nickb 121918@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>eat your heart out Frankie Boyle. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121909 Wed, 09 May 2012 18:45:32 +0000 A Wagonload Of Monkeys 121909@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What's the world coming to if you can't poke fun at Gordon Ramsey. That is why this cant be used right?</p> <p>Very good, I liked the line about customers taking their complaints direct to the police </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121900 Wed, 09 May 2012 14:51:35 +0000 JohnA 121900@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Unfortunately not going to be mentioned again. Even if it is a) funny b) satirical and c) close to the bone. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121893 Wed, 09 May 2012 13:41:22 +0000 medici2471 121893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice piece </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121870 Wed, 09 May 2012 11:50:53 +0000 Textbook 121870@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Possibly best example I've seen of a great sub that will never be used. Pity. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121864 Wed, 09 May 2012 11:26:49 +0000 editor 121864@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well nicely written, but alas I think this news story has a large sign around it saying 'Comedy Writers; Do Not Enter' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121861 Wed, 09 May 2012 11:24:05 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 121861@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can't beat a good taboo store have some stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42639#post-121857 Wed, 09 May 2012 11:11:04 +0000 Gary Stanton 121857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>An Asian takeaway restaurant that was repeatedly failing its customers by plying them with alcohol and having sex with them has won its first Michelin star thanks to a strictly hands-on approach by award-winning chef Gordon Ramsay.</p> <p>In perhaps what has been his toughest challenge yet, the foul-mouthed Hell’s Kitchen star took on demoralised staff and a ‘culture of predatory paedophilia’ and ushered in a new whole new era in takeaway dining. When Ramsay took over, Chunky Al’s "Easy Meat" Chicken Restaurant was losing customers at an alarming rate or farming them out to an expanding sex ring. But the sweary Scot quickly identified the problem as ‘wayward’ Head Chef Kabeer Hassan, a hugely talented cook and serial offender who had simply lost his way. </p> <p>Prior to Ramsay’s involvement, Easy Meat had been failing to inform its mainly teenage customers of healthy alternatives such as processed cheese and wholemeal baps, and often alienated its regular clientelle by charging ten pence for those little sachets of barbecue sauce. </p> <p>‘Easy Meat was a restaurant that was haemorrhaging money for fuck’s sake’, said Ramsay, 42. ‘By plying his guests with free alcohol, Kabeer was missing out on a significant mark-up. That’s no way to run a fucking business.’ </p> <p>‘When customers are going directly to the police with their complaints, you need to ask yourself what’s going wrong - how can I fix it? ‘ </p> <p>‘With the Head Chef, Front of House and six of the backroom staff now in prison, I’ve been able to bring in my own people and have make radical alterations to the menu.’ </p> <p>‘This was a place where people were afraid to come and eat. Now the customers are flooding back, safe in the knowledge that the taxi they ordered to take them home won’t drop them off at several different addresses. </p>