http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42508 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 17:26:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42508#post-121540 Sun, 06 May 2012 00:04:47 +0000 FlashArry 121540@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>mental flash like this - many stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42508#post-121534 Sat, 05 May 2012 21:56:16 +0000 Ironduke 121534@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>(hands up everyone who had a mental flash of a blonde in a gown, stockings and mortar board, writing equations on a blackboard) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42508#post-121533 Sat, 05 May 2012 21:55:16 +0000 Ironduke 121533@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good.</p> <p>'the field of erotic mathematics'... now there's the key to my missing grades at A Level </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42508#post-121532 Sat, 05 May 2012 21:33:08 +0000 Iggy Pop-Barker 121532@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Claims in a recent book that pop star Jessie J is “100% lesbian” have been strongly countered by researchers in the field of erotic mathematics. Professor Edward Simpson, of the Institute of Sensual Calculus, says “This 100% figure is decidedly inaccurate. In the past two years I have made an intensive study of Jessie’s recordings and interviews, and have also applied what I call the HQ, or Hotness Quotient, to her videos. This has helped me to arrive at a much more precise figure for Jessie’s lesbianism of 93.759%.”</p> <p>However Professor Simpson’s figure has itself been questioned by some of his fellow academics. Writing in the Journal of Applied Mental Onanism, Dr Muriel Spengler of the Society of Sexual Statisticians observes that “In Britain only 1 in 27 women is named Jessie. Of these, my research indicates that just 1 in 55 is 100% lesbian. It therefore follows that Jessie J, at best, is 17.5% lesbian. But this can of course only be a tentative figure until further in-depth research is carried out, preferably with Jessie herself.” </p> <p>Meanwhile in “A Comparative Study of Madonna, Gaga and Jessie J”, due for publication next month in Proceedings of the Association for Algebraic Arousal, Professor Richard Hancock comments: “J = (a - b x z) where Lady Gaga is a and z represents the London grime scene.” Asked what bearing this has on the singer’s sexuality, Prof Hancock confessed he had no idea, adding “But the figures don’t lie.” </p>