http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 05:51:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121298 Thu, 03 May 2012 17:11:41 +0000 The All New Jeni B 121298@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What's a drought? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121234 Thu, 03 May 2012 11:13:24 +0000 kimllfixit 121234@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Filling up the reservoirs with wee wee is a little drastic, don't you think? I'll stick to just washing my children with it, thank you very much. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121232 Thu, 03 May 2012 11:07:01 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 121232@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Kim cant believe you missed that bloke from Stoke's idea for filling the reservoirs up that wayland found on the radio, but great left alert non the less! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121231 Thu, 03 May 2012 11:05:24 +0000 dvo4fun 121231@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>cracking job kim &amp; friends. Belated stars as well </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121230 Thu, 03 May 2012 11:02:43 +0000 Not Amused 121230@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Set up rallies with our Glorious Leaders at reservoirs. Our tears of joy will replenish them. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121224 Thu, 03 May 2012 10:07:54 +0000 kimllfixit 121224@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ooh, smashing :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121221 Thu, 03 May 2012 10:00:47 +0000 beau-jolly 121221@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yay! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121220 Thu, 03 May 2012 09:56:53 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 121220@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Left alert, good work guys.</p> <p>And statistics show that 100% of WoM awards in the last 4 weeks have been won by a left alert, so you're in with a chance of having to smash a mug into several pieces and send it to various parts of the country to share between you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-121118 Wed, 02 May 2012 13:41:06 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 121118@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have the post office give you a Manchester post code </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120985 Wed, 02 May 2012 10:36:30 +0000 kimllfixit 120985@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yeah, the French have got water coming out of their azurs... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120984 Wed, 02 May 2012 10:34:30 +0000 beau-jolly 120984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't waste good English tap water; Use hugely expensive bottled French mineral water instead. They've got loads of it.</p> <p>and/or</p> <p>Buy a 2 litre bottle of Coke. Leave it to go flat and then centrifuge it until all the colour and sugar has gone. Hey Presto! 2 litrs of good Thames water. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120982 Wed, 02 May 2012 10:25:13 +0000 kimllfixit 120982@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only eat dry dog food - twice the nutritional value, just 10% of the water content. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120959 Wed, 02 May 2012 08:04:24 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 120959@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Buy a boat. That way, if the drought gets so bad that your house floods you'll have somewhere you can live until the drought water subsides. Plus you can save some valuables and still tell the insurance company that they were washed away. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120950 Wed, 02 May 2012 07:15:37 +0000 wallster 120950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Health Spas, ensure you can continue to offer colonic irrigation by filling your butt with rainwater. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120947 Wed, 02 May 2012 07:06:39 +0000 kga6 120947@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Work on border control? Just how thirsty does that illegal immigrant look? Does he need a wash? Hmmm. Better think twice about letting him in. Unless of course he comes complete with a water bottle. Result! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120946 Wed, 02 May 2012 07:02:34 +0000 wallster 120946@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Save water - Urinate with a friend. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120945 Wed, 02 May 2012 07:01:14 +0000 Sinnick 120945@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Looking forward to the Left Alert ...</p> <p>- Share baths and showers. If your partner isn't in, ask around a few of the neighbours; if they aren't up for it, grab the neighbour's pet, unless it's a rottweiler of course</p> <p>- Wash the car with urine. If you don't have a car and wonder what to do with it, wash someone else's car - they'll be delighted </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120944 Wed, 02 May 2012 06:58:48 +0000 kga6 120944@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed. I like the idea.<br /> Stop exercising. With so little water remaining, sweating is now essentially immoral. Sit still, but avoid reading about how much the Olympics is costing as crying is just as bad. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120940 Wed, 02 May 2012 06:50:24 +0000 Thor 120940@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Save your urine to water the house plants; the nitrogenous wastes will help them to thrive. Keep it in an old apple juice container in the fridge, for added comedic value. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120937 Wed, 02 May 2012 06:39:20 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 120937@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Think there's potential for another communal left alert here if other biscuits were to add some top tips of their own.</p> <p>I won't start, because it's early and I can't think when I'm tired. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42294#post-120800 Tue, 01 May 2012 09:47:25 +0000 kimllfixit 120800@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Recent dry spells have left Britons with dry riverbeds and parched lawns, so what can we do to get through these tough times?</p> <p>• Hose pipe bans – when the rain just won’t come, it’s time to stop watering your garden and washing your dogs. It is a well known fact that all British residents, especially those with classic cars, stick to the ban with a passion which instantly helps with water shortages.<br /> • Panic – thankfully, Britain has an accurate source of weather information in the Daily Mail. The Mail will ensure that, by proclaiming that drought causes cancer, a widespread panic will refill empty reservoirs.<br /> • Retain backup water stocks in jerry cans in your garage – if you are lucky enough to have a garage, now is the time to remove your car and fill the space up with tap water. Previous government advice on storing fluids in your home has shown that you will not need to worry about running out of water, and – when the rain finally comes – you can simply chuck what you don’t use down the drain.<br /> • Go on holiday in Britain – any plans to visit the British coastline will trigger heavy rainfall.<br /> • Avoid having a house fire – each time you are selfish enough to burn all your treasured possessions in a house fire, you inadvertently use a huge amount of water when the fire services attempt to restrict the blaze. Think twice before having an electrical fault.<br /> • Declare a drought. </p>