http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41927 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 01:47:21 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41927#post-119835 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:59:08 +0000 kga6 119835@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And what a good idea too, even if I do say so ourselves. A very different approach past the headline though, enough so to coexist. As for heaven, it was indeed the rain that encouraged me to get this one out whilst still topical. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41927#post-119789 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:24:58 +0000 Mary Evans 119789@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apologies kga6 - hadn't seen this before writing own hosepipe sub. Why we should both be thinking of firemen today, heaven only knows... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41927#post-119787 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:22:36 +0000 Buddha 119787@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Peace. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41927#post-119676 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 20:12:11 +0000 writinginbsl 119676@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice </p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41927#post-119672 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 19:51:19 +0000 kga6 119672@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Firefighters in areas affected by the hosepipe ban are making a splash with their imaginative new water delivery systems. Firemen in North London were initially angry with water bosses' decisions to include the Fire Brigade in the ban, but are now relishing the challenge to extinguish fires ad lib.</p> <p>"You learn hosepipe etiquette and technique on day one; after that there's little else to do", commented one fireman. "Once you've greased up your pole and polished off your engine, that's the hardest bit of the day over with. But the team are really coming together now, bashing out new ideas, debating <em>en mass</em> to solve the problem of the sticky mess we're in."</p> <p>For small fires, the station employs Martin, County spitting champion, although it would be ridiculous to suggest fires are extinguishable with a few mouthfuls of phlegm. Rather, he does a simply heart-wrenching rendition of Candle in the Wind, and the tears of the senior officers are more than enough to engulf the flames.</p> <p>Slightly larger fires require the carefully reserved brine from the lunchtime tuna tin, which also works for tempting down cats stuck in trees.</p> <p>The largest fires are dealt with using the station's new, well-endowed steed. Nicknamed 'Put it out Pete', the horse is encouraged to drink water aplenty so that if a fire arises he is ready to perform. Also performing is 'Down below Dan', tasked with the aiming.</p> <p>"It was particularly satisfying being called to put out a small fire at the home of the Thames Water boss with Pete", recalls Dan. "Truthfully, it was only a brine-worthy fire, but I misheard the call. Anyway, with Pete's prowess, putting that one out really was a piece of piss."</p> <p>The public have generally approved of the new methods, but hysterical shouts of "put it out, put it out!" are now regularly replaced by grossed out calls to "put it away, put it away!" </p>