http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 10:05:51 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119359 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 18:21:01 +0000 bonjonelson 119359@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you want to edit it, just copy/paste as a comment here and edit that as a revised entry. Don't post it as a new submision, that just confuses everyone.</p> <p>ps. it's very good! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119340 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 14:56:47 +0000 Old Hat 119340@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mods, is there any way to edit this now? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119274 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:21:47 +0000 Old Hat 119274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks guys :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119259 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 08:25:45 +0000 FlashArry 119259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'sonic cock-arrows' - genius ! </p> <p>Bonkers-daft and very funny post : many appreciative stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119257 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 08:21:43 +0000 Captain Axel 119257@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant! Made laugh louder then I should in the office. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119256 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 08:05:00 +0000 JonnyJP 119256@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I thought this was great </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41794#post-119250 Thu, 19 Apr 2012 07:55:23 +0000 Old Hat 119250@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Celebrity Muse and part-time skank wrangler, Keith Lemon, has been comprehensively ‘finished’ in Mortal Kombat by non-promiscuous naturalist, sir David Attenborough.</p> <p>The encounter, which took place on Richmond Hill, lasted for just 98 seconds. Attenborough systematically demolished Lemon with a crowd-dazzling combo that contained no less than three special moves, two sweep kicks, six fireballs, a grappling hook and one mesmerising, yet fatal uppercut to Lemon’s lower face. Attenborough then turned to a nearby camera and said "bang tidy" in a clipped, reassuring tone, before turning his back on Lemon's lifeless corpse and leaving the arena without further comment.</p> <p>Lemon had a promising start to the encounter however, cracking off a flurry of sonic cock-arrows before unleashing his signature, ‘etherial fire-dildo’, but in a ploy that surprised Lemon, Attenborough blocked them all with his right forearm, before proceeding with his deadly onslaught.</p> <p>With no contenders willing to lay down the gauntlet to Attenborough, Mortal Kombat industry analysts have predicted a sharp decline in the sport’s popularity. </p> <p>Promoter, Frank Warren, said in a post-match interview “There’s no denying the lack of young talent out there, Fogle’s ok but he just doesn’t pull in the crowds”. </p> <p>Experts believe that warren is keeping his cards close to his chest, however, amid speculation that he will try and tempt one of the sport’s former titans out of retirement, with many supporter groups hoping that David Bellamy or Terry Nutkins will be next in-line to face the fearsome Attenborough. </p>