http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:40:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-121302 Thu, 03 May 2012 18:51:53 +0000 dvo4fun 121302@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Blimey - go away for a few days and everything becomes serious. </p> <p>30 something years ago I was a lot more certain of some things than is now the case but<br /> I may be with Seymour on this one as a sort of evangelical christian with a bit of clapping &amp; dancing thrown in. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120883 Tue, 01 May 2012 18:15:50 +0000 JohnA 120883@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've read the Bhagavad Gita and its boring, wildly unrealistic, drug-fuelled twaddle. But don't take my word for it - try a few pages and if you've still got any rational brain cells still awake then walk away rapidly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120735 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:15:38 +0000 Ironduke 120735@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've read the Victor Annual for Boys, 1980. I firmly believe it contains wonderful guidance in all manner of life's tricky situations.</p> <p>As a rough guide, if you give it hot and strong to the Nips, wear leopard skin bulge-free trunks and run faster than posh people, you'll not go far wrong. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120730 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:27:22 +0000 Golgo13 120730@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Enter the Dragon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120728 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:20:27 +0000 Qoxiivi 120728@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was given a Bhagavad Gita by a man in a dress at LA airport. He was very nice but I haven't read it yet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120725 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:12:38 +0000 Thor 120725@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have read the bhagavad gita, and it’s one of my essential bedside books. The yoga sutras of Patanjali are also profound and eminently worth reading. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120724 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:07:43 +0000 shitsu_tonka 120724@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In the spirit of wondering what the hell everyone gets so excited about I once sat down and read the Koran from cover-to-cover then I did the same for the Bible. </p> <p>Judging by readability alone I preferred the Koran but that's compared to a modern Bible translation. The King James Bible is beautiful, it's art pure and simple. Written in a soaring profound language that almost, almost transcends it's foul, backward and hate-filled dogma. </p> <p>So if you are just going to read one of these types of things I recommend the KJV. </p> <p>Anyone read the Bhagavad Gita? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120721 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 18:54:41 +0000 JohnA 120721@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Was modestly religious now irreligious. </p> <p>Its difficult to contribute to a site whose raison d'etre is mockery of authority, skewering of hypocricy and anarchic abuse of English, while at the same time being a credulous believer in religious dogma.</p> <p>And sacred cows make the best and tastiest hamburgers</p> <p>I would like to read the Quran but only so I can be less ignorant of what it contains and not to believe any of it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120631 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:33:08 +0000 Thor 120631@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I already do restaurant reviews under my pen-name - ‘Giles Coren’. You don’t need a hammer to wreck a restaurant, just a biro. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-120622 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 03:41:27 +0000 Textbook 120622@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I would be very interested in purchasing any daily newspaper which carried a regular column written by Thor. He could do theatre reviews, discuss traffic congestion, share favourite recipes and so on. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119825 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:06:04 +0000 Thor 119825@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bugger - looks like I missed one... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119804 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:13:35 +0000 andhrimnir 119804@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thor! Thor! come in and wash your hands, dinner is ready. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119662 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 14:54:43 +0000 beau-jolly 119662@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Godly: "Tonight we're gonna party like its 1699" Genius! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119651 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 12:32:45 +0000 Scroat 119651@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just remembered Kelly McGillis in Witness.....</p> <p>Impure thoughts on the Sabbath. Sorry. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119648 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 12:18:17 +0000 Thor 119648@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Godly- made me laugh. I like it here, think I’ll stick around. Any wenches? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119647 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 11:51:16 +0000 godly1966 119647@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>this looks like fun. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=4#post-119644 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 11:10:09 +0000 Thor 119644@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ignore those false deities; I’m the only real God.<br /> Proof:<br /> The Christian god was nailed to a cross. <strong>I</strong> have a hammer.<br /> I told you that I was going to slaughter the ice giants. Do you see any ice giants? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119643 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 09:27:45 +0000 Al OPecia 119643@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Guess who's getting upset by all this disbelievery...</p> <p><img src="http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/206/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster.jpg"> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119629 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 01:20:26 +0000 Yikes 119629@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For research purposes I clicked on a link from a religious facebook friend - sent me to a chap called Bill Johnson, who is big in the healing industry. What amazed me was the heatedness with which fellow Christians argued with each other, constantly counter-attacking with yet more scripture ... but then I came across this bit:</p> <p>"To answer your question, who am I? Titus is just one book of the Bible that gives me as a believer that authority. Your dismissal is a common one used by the false gospel proponents. <strong>I have spoken twice here and will heed Titus 3 to reject a divisive person after a first and second admonition."</strong></p> <p>Looks like the biblical version of "End of." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119627 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 23:43:14 +0000 The All New Jeni B 119627@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I. Must. Stop. Drinking. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119626 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 23:35:26 +0000 Allah 119626@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And so it came to pass that Allah did change their Gravatar for verily despite possessing infinite wisdom it had somehow slipped Allah's mind that they do use Gravatars on other sites where the sudden appearance of Allah did cause much confusion and gnashing of teeth amongst the infidel. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119622 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 21:53:53 +0000 bonjonelson 119622@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Who created God? Something so awesomely complex and incredible couldn't just have appeared by chance. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119621 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 21:27:07 +0000 Space lizard 119621@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Salmon, you seem angry? Relax, have a smoke. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119620 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 21:09:50 +0000 Salmon of Knowledge 119620@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'space lizard'? Is that what you're calling yourself now? 'Flat leathery twat' would be more accurate. The sea's fucking massive, ergo, you're a cunt.</p> <p>I made those hairy gods to keep the whales amused. Apparently the whiskers tickle their blow holes. Being able to sing for 1,500 nautical miles doesn't stop them being perverts.</p> <p>I'd like to see a 'man god' populate the world in a week. Can't keep up with a spunking fish, we're fucking first rate in that department. Not that I remember hosing you all out of my little fish cock: you're not that fucking special. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119618 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:58:06 +0000 Sinnick 119618@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Look, God, you're getting a little "holier than thou" here. You deny there are any others like you, but what about your mate - you know, that dodgy one with the clip-on horns and that trick with fire ? He gets blamed for everything, but I bet you're not entirely innocent.</p> <p>And why the Hell do you have so many aliases ? - God, Allah, Jehovah, etc - is this for tax reasons ? Do the authorities know about you ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119616 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 20:51:35 +0000 Space lizard 119616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You bunch of ignorant humans. My race created everything your tiny minds can comprehend. Well us and David Icke. Oh and Ronald McDonald. We are your rulers, our vibrations control your every thought using our broadcast system of television programmes you call 'Neighbours' and 'Home and Away'.</p> <p>I must also mention Merv Hughes, who together with David and Ronald complete the Holy Trinity.</p> <p>I enjoy salmon of knowledge steamed with garlic butter. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119607 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 18:02:05 +0000 Salmon of Knowledge 119607@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oi, fucktards, back on your inhospitable land masses. Like you know fuck all about fucking anything. Cunts.</p> <p>'boo hoo, I don't know for sure whether there's an afterlife'. Bollocks. Never asked me, did you? Why do you think I'm called 'salmon of knowledge'? My spawning skills? My devilish good looks? My fucking flappy fucking fins?</p> <p>Fuck me, you wouldn't know a deity if it slithered up your arsehole and laid parasitic eggs in your ball sac. Here's a clue: it's me. Worship me if you like, but I really couldn't give a whore's flaps. Just stop pissing with the sea, yeah? Or mark my words: You. Will. Reap. The. Fucking. Where. Am. I? </p> <p>Oh, hi! Alright there, cunts? Sure I was in the middle of something. Did I mention I'm the almighty? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119605 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:13:03 +0000 Jesus 119605@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Buddha-God's not gay-cos I'm his son. FACT</p> <p> End of.</p> <p>BEWARE THE TROUT OF DOUBT </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119604 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 16:57:24 +0000 The All New Jeni B 119604@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What's Thor and Zeus' stand on all this?</p> <p>They're being particularly quiet on the subject. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41711&page=3#post-119599 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 15:01:54 +0000 Buddha 119599@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think it's time to stop - we're getting a bit <a href="http://www.jesusandmo.net/">Jesus and Mo</a> now...</p> <p>I still think God's gay, though. </p>