http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:06:11 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116960 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 21:27:47 +0000 Textbook 116960@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent but I think it works better just as a headline :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116674 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:17:14 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 116674@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116658 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:54:43 +0000 ianslat 116658@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116628 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:05:25 +0000 Midfield Diamond 116628@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Works well as a ticker but lots of great lines in the sub too. My favourite is 'I thought Jesus was nailed on for the title' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116624 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:53:52 +0000 and another one 116624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mary Whitehouse Experience did the "cod in breadcrumbs" gag years ago, but no-one will remember that, so you're OK. :-) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116623 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:52:10 +0000 Golgo13 116623@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice mix of words. I'd happily read the lot. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116621 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:46:15 +0000 Scronnyglonkle 116621@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>even Michael Winner would give this article five stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116586 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 11:11:35 +0000 kimllfixit 116586@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bread and fish may be tasty, but is it 'fine dining'?</p> <p>Big, crispy skinned stars for you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116563 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 09:00:31 +0000 Username 116563@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>tasty. 5 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116561 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 08:57:57 +0000 weematt 116561@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 Michelin stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40956#post-116554 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 08:22:57 +0000 ianslat 116554@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jesus loses in 'Masterchef - The Deities' final following disappointing 'loaves and fishes' dish[u]</p> <p>Fans of the BBC's popular 'Masterchef - The Deities' series were left reeling last night as odds-on favourite Jesus Christ fell at the last hurdle, handing victory on a a plate to rank outsider Buddha.</p> <p>'Jesus had made the running all the way through' said judge Gregg Wallace, 'but 'in the final his loaves and fishes signature dish was something of an anti-climax. The flavours were poor and it was undercooked. He didn't even serve any of those nice chunky chips with it. So disappointing. It was also suspiciously reminiscent of a Birds Eye cod fish finger in breadcrumbs...'</p> <p>Fellow judge John Torode was also disappointed by Jesus' final effort. 'It just lacked the creativity of some of his earlier creations' he grumbled, 'like that magnificent white wine sauce from the semi-final, created out of just a few jeroboams of water.'</p> <p>Jesus defended his efforts however, saying that he thought the judges had been overly harsh with their comments. 'Let's remember that I was cooking for 5,000 covers at the time. Cooking doesn't get tougher than that. To be honest it would have been a miracle if I had managed to pull it off.'</p> <p>Series champion Buddha was also surprised at the result. 'I thought Jesus was nailed on for the title' he quipped. 'I was frankly pretty surprised that my minimalist dish with no animals or vegetables in it was enough for the win, but that's nouvelle cuisine for you isn't it.'</p> <p>Other deities had fallen earlier in the competition, as Wallace explained. 'Mohammed blew his chance in the opening round when he refused to taste his cock-a-leekie soup because it was Ramadan. As a result he accidentally left out the seasoning, and that was the end of him.' Torode added 'and you should have seen the pickle Vishnu got into in the kitchen - arms tangled up everywhere. It was hilarious, but his jam roly-poly was a right mess.'</p> <p>Despite his disappointment, Jesus has vowed that this won't be the last we see of him on the culinary front. 'You can't keep a good man down' he grinned. 'I'm planning on launching my own range of milk-chocolate eggs. I've got a feeling they'll sell well around Easter time. If only I could think of a good PR stunt to promote them...' </p>