http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 05:27:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111375 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 12:45:28 +0000 Golgo13 111375@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You suffer unmonitored performance in bedrooms?</p> <p>...I'm Morgan Freeman </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111358 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 10:57:25 +0000 beau-jolly 111358@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The only time I've seen a Catholic priest close up was in the cancer ward where they lurk about looking for easy pickings.<br /> My local vicar is a decent chap though. Despite being CofE he did a papist prayer at Maddy's bedside which comforted her a bit. I buried her in a secular woodland site but asked Steve-the-vic to sprinkle some fairy dust in the hole for anyone who liked that sort of thing. He was very obliging but did point out to me that he called it "holy water". What ever gets you through the night... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111332 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 07:43:30 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 111332@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The best way to deal with rabid zealots (religious or political) is to laugh at them; every time they say something from their chosen magic book, laugh as if they’ve just made the best joke ever, finally collapsing into giggles after several minutes of mirth. A well timed “oh, you!” with a squeeze of the cheek is the clincher. Oh, and never ever try to engage them in reasoned debate. It gives them the delusion that their beliefs are being taken seriously. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111325 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 00:10:51 +0000 FlashArry 111325@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have never owned a porn stash, always relied on a <em>really</em> fertile imagination and a chair wedged against the door</p> <p>Rabid zealots, huh ? Can't martyr them, can't refute their belief system through the power of rational thought. Bastards. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111324 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 23:54:10 +0000 The All New Jeni B 111324@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At least the copies of Watchtower gave you somewhere to hide your porn stash.</p> <p>She would cross herself whenever she saw me, and I once caught her sprinkling holy water over where I'd sat as I was leaving her house.</p> <p>I have no qualms in admitting that I cried 100% more tears when my dog died than when she died a week later.</p> <p>The one consolation was that I was excused the funeral mass and just rocked up to the cremation (I think that was my Dad's last act of rebellion, although he did have her ashes buried with my Grandad, who was nice). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111323 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 23:46:28 +0000 FlashArry 111323@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sympathy with you Jen - When my dad remarried, I 'acquired' a Jehovah's Witness grandmother, precisely at the point when I discovered fags, fornication and under-age drinking : the disapproval would sometimes crystallise out of the air like a frost - just what you need with a Sunday hangover. Well, that and my own body weight in <em>Watchtowers</em> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111322 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 23:30:51 +0000 The All New Jeni B 111322@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Beau, no. She was a "devout" Catholic.<br /> Devout in as much as she despised me on the basis that my Mum is a Protestant and that from an early age I made it clear I had no interest in religion.<br /> Perhaps that was the point of the inheritance, although she didn't leave it to me, my Dad just took pity on me (?) because I was the only grandchild who wasn't left anything (there are 19 or so of us).<br /> I really wish he hadn't bothered... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111289 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 17:19:58 +0000 seymour totti 111289@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I thought Stanley Unwin was dead ?</blockquote></p> <p>So did Stanley Unwin!</p> <p>Deep Joy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111280 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 16:16:36 +0000 Qoxiivi 111280@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>beau-jolly: you're right, the <a href="http://www.sciencematters.biz/images/products/large/ecoli.jpg">appendix e-coli</a> looks even more surprised/worried. I think it’s deeply concerned that this whole thing seems to have spread to the point where it (whatever it considers itself to be) is now getting included. I feel that, in its mind, whereas <a href="http://www.tapirback.com/tapirgal/gifts/friends/insects/louse-stuffed-f1566.jpg">lewis louse</a> may have represented merely 'a step too far', this development is proof that things really are getting dangerously out of hand. What next? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111260 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 14:15:27 +0000 charlies_hat 111260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I thought Stanley Unwin was dead ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111258 Mon, 27 Feb 2012 12:57:03 +0000 beau-jolly 111258@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jeni: If you go back a / on the URL the site selling these items is a wicken supplies on-line store. Was your late Gran-in-law interested in the occult? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111192 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 20:35:49 +0000 bonjonelson 111192@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Uncomplaining! At the top of my lungs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111178 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 18:10:24 +0000 Immunis 111178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I want boodwaah pie, Tantamount! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111177 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 18:09:43 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 111177@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Boardwiving is like water-boarding, with marginally more nagging. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111171 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 15:59:25 +0000 The All New Jeni B 111171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No idea, but if Mr B tries it, there could be a divorce. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111170 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 15:56:17 +0000 rikkor 111170@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like out-sauce the lot. What is boardwiving? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111167 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 14:42:31 +0000 The All New Jeni B 111167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Anyone know if the boardwiving item is worth anything?<br /> I inherited just such a 'lovely' item when Mr B's gran died, and haven't been brave enough to chuck it out. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111148 Sun, 26 Feb 2012 11:42:10 +0000 Scroat 111148@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's definitely a David Lynch vibe going on here. It's all very Eraserhead and a bit Twin Peakish. </p> <p>Even to the firmest sinnickle. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111116 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:25:43 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 111116@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"may contain death-spaniels" love it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111111 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 20:29:33 +0000 Ironduke 111111@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'no bluffers'</p> <p>I would so love to hear the story of that photo...where do you get pink ladies kalashnikovs? Is the CND sign ironic? And most importantly...does the dog have fleas? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111088 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 14:33:03 +0000 beau-jolly 111088@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>and a handful of Goldcrests. What more do you want? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111073 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:12:18 +0000 Sinnick 111073@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice to see Jedward's parents looking so well (competitors guffaw). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111070 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:00:11 +0000 beau-jolly 111070@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Now you're talking my language. Graphs, that's the way forward. Tantamount indeed!</p> <p>Qox. The e colli (Appendix) looks even more astonished. Cried laughing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39120#post-111068 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 09:43:19 +0000 youbuyitnow 111068@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Got your eyes going? Goodness. You lack graphs and inspections. <a href="http://thelaughingstork.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/PinkGun.jpg">No bluffers</a> you dillon! You need <a href="http://www.instructables.com/image/FFACZEF3X5EV1BEGXU/modular-pie-cosahedron.jpg">boodwaah pie</a> charting.</p> <p>Prove your longly improverment with a <a href="http://www.churchhousecollection.com/resources/The%2010%20Plagues%20of%20Egypt%20Lice%20or%20Gnat%20Clipart.jpg">gant</a> on the window. Chopsy flatter-lines woo even the firmest sinnickle resistors. <a href="http://doodlesplace.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/pipe-cleaner-crafts-family-pipecleaner.jpg">Bending</a>? Hello sir? 30% increaser. Errorginous time manager? You can't afford not.</p> <p>What! Tell me you didn't. Blunder up without missioning? <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_oZyWcO_VETw/S_Ib2YJd3BI/AAAAAAAAG1I/rhAYgp_WfGs/s1600/shaan05.jpg">Competitors guffaw</a>. Out-sauce the lot with galloning barrels of MISO-9000 a bit higher. 'Oooh, getter out your certificates!' gushes the thorougherest of <a href="http://www.moonslightmagic.com/images/pack_horse_salt_and_pepper_shaker_statue.jpg">boardwiving</a>. </p> <p>Swell your chests without coffering, not ever a wiis. Don't willy nilly, plan forth the fuschia. You not sure yet? Are you broken? Get a lot more than a winger, you great <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QbKuUjW-meA/SwLDd1MzksI/AAAAAAAAAEc/-y90zKzUb2o/s1600/Goldcrest.jpg">useless tit</a>.</p> <p>Whorning: Do not nail it on or risk a shattered <a href="http://www.sciencematters.biz/images/products/large/ecoli.jpg">appendix</a>. Not comfortable at all, may contain death-spaniels.</p> <p>Tantamount! </p>