http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 23:28:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-125479 Fri, 08 Jun 2012 11:38:33 +0000 butagirl 125479@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>&lt;&lt;Having just done the school run myself, half the vehicles are ridiculously large for this tiny cul-de-sac, and 90% of the parents are female.&gt;&gt;</p> <p>Either a new form of female-only reproduction has been invented, or a few men have been EXTREMELY busy! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111419 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:05:13 +0000 beau-jolly 111419@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dear Mums, I have 3 kittens that need drowning... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111412 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:32:46 +0000 Scroat 111412@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've got a great chorizo and butterbean stew recipe if anyone's interested. V quick, v easy and v tasty... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111397 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:02:10 +0000 bonjonelson 111397@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently this isn't so much of a problem in Saudi Arabia </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111378 Tue, 28 Feb 2012 13:02:57 +0000 Son of Barnabas 111378@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I dunno, I must be getting really old, but I remember when this used to be a funny site, not an annexe of Mumsnet... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111084 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:24:51 +0000 dvo4fun 111084@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But did you accidentally 'key' it Sinnick? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111074 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:28:44 +0000 Sinnick 111074@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>My car got boxed in by a brain-dead Yummy Mummy's shiny Audi yesterday. When I figured out who it was, her embarrassed son told me "she always does that". When challenged, she said "I didn't think you'd want to move your van" - it's a Zafira (she wasn't being sarcastic). She couldn't find anywhere else to park; if she'd looked harder, she just drove past 100's of yards of empty road.</p> <p>So, maybe I'm with Scroat on this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111072 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:10:19 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 111072@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently, ‘Prius’ is the Japanese word for cunt. Not really relevant to the thread, I know, but it had to be said. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-111058 Sat, 25 Feb 2012 02:15:32 +0000 theumpire 111058@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo - I have been laughing until it hurt. Thank you so much.</p> <p>And I loved your Grumpy Old Men scripts.</p> <p>And what about those folks who walk across pedestrian crossings in front of you, without so much as a nod of thanks to you for stopping. I swear one day my cool will snap and I shall rev it up and run one of them down. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110522 Tue, 21 Feb 2012 21:32:36 +0000 ianrbland 110522@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I notice that there are "parent and baby" spaces in supermarket car parks. They are enormous, presumably simply to accommodate said parent, baby and Scorpion armoured car used for shopping.</p> <p>Golgo - airline food - what were they thinking? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110327 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:14:25 +0000 dvo4fun 110327@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Zadok - have you ever eaten a vegetarian? Full of meat! Hypocrits </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110313 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:07:49 +0000 Immunis 110313@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can't believe that it all this thread no one has asked the important question</p> <p>How yummy are these mummies? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110291 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:34:46 +0000 Scroat 110291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can worms wriggle..? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110267 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:46:16 +0000 beau-jolly 110267@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't get me started on all the immigrant kids that go to these schools ...probably. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110265 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:26:18 +0000 Sinnick 110265@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm in the third half, those that walk.</p> <p>Which leads me to this curious maths joke:<br /> What is the volume of a pizza with radius "z" and depth "a" ?<br /> Pizza !</p> <p>I didn't say it was funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110264 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:22:25 +0000 Golgo13 110264@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I got a "golgo is dull" tag...Holy crap, are you serious?...I thought I was the one doing the heavy lifting...I thought I was really keeping this thread going...</p> <p>I mean...take my bits out, and all you have is the "4x4 cars aren't necessary in towns and shouldn't be driven by women" observation...</p> <p>I'm covering much more original ground...</p> <p>So...airline food...I mean, seriously...what is <em>up</em> with that stuff, right? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110262 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:07:58 +0000 Zadok the second 110262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I once asked for the vegetarian option on a plane, only to be told I had to book it at the same time as I booked the ticket! Madness! I didn't know what I wanted to eat back then! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829&page=2#post-110261 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:01:25 +0000 waylandsmithy 110261@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I get annoyed because half of these drivers live just 300 yards away and could make the kids walk; the other half could park just a little further away to avoid the dangerous congestion</blockquote></p> <p>Which did you do, Sinnick?</p> <p>A lot of these problems could be solved by having better schools with bigger car parks, perhaps with a simple obstacle course or rock face to traverse to keep out the riff-raff.</p> <p>Or charging for primary education upwards. That's the natural progression: no point wasting teachers on children that are as dull as soup. </p> <p>I strongly suspect it's the lazy poor who are to blame, cluttering the place up with their non 4x4-friendly children. Do window cleaners and Tesco's till operators <em>really </em>need an education? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110259 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:53:04 +0000 Golgo13 110259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...or airline food - I mean, what the hell is going on with the peanuts? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110183 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:46:28 +0000 Sinnick 110183@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>@Scroat, think of a simple phrase that includes the words "worms" and "can".</p> <p>Having just done the school run myself, half the vehicles are ridiculously large for this tiny cul-de-sac, and 90% of the parents are female. Linking these 2 facts gives a stereotype. I get annoyed because half of these drivers live just 300 yards away and could make the kids walk; the other half could park just a little further away to avoid the dangerous congestion (no, I don't necessarily mean the other side of Manchester).</p> <p>@godly, you've got most of a half-decent sub there. We haven't had a poke at BMW drivers for a couple of months ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110182 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:45:23 +0000 fernandomando 110182@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo, I quite agree. I went to the Isle of Wight over the weekend and I seem to have returned to 2004. On that note I am off to borrow £500k for a cheeky little beach hut in Gurnard before retraining to be an estate agent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110175 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 08:53:18 +0000 Golgo13 110175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Teenagers...huh? Am I right? We used to get a clip round the ear!</p> <p>Do you remember Bungle out of Rainbow? What was <em>that</em> about? And when your Nan used to spit on a hanky to clean your face...<br /> Do you remember all that stuff from the past?</p> <p>I see John Prescott's in the news again.</p> <p>And what's the deal with airline food? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110174 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 08:31:24 +0000 Scroat 110174@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Goodness! As soon as my back's turned, toys all over the floor. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110169 Mon, 20 Feb 2012 07:56:36 +0000 Al OPecia 110169@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah Lincolnshire, where the family sits around the kitchen table deciding who's going to take the DNA out for the night...... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110147 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:10:13 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 110147@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"I for one enjoy cowering in fear as some 5 litre behemoth bears down on me on the wrong side of the road, the nanny and 3 of the kids all sharing the driving. That might only apply to the country lanes around Alderley Edge and Wilmslow, in fairness”...<br /> Nope - also applies to streets around here (Lincs.) that were considered ‘a bit on the narrow side’ when they were laid out - when Henry VIII was on wife 3. Still, as long as the kids are safe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110143 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 20:15:29 +0000 writinginbsl 110143@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>i think your position deevo may be precised (is that a real word) as<br /> sod you, jack, i'm in the dingy.</p> <p>i just hope there are enough dinghies-we may be needing quite a few... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110140 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 20:07:53 +0000 waylandsmithy 110140@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oof! Knives are out for the Cheshire panzer division!</p> <p>They make perfect sense. When you're paying your 17 year-old Lithuanian nanny to drop the kids off at prep school, you're not going to hope she survives the carnage in a Golf, are you?</p> <p>Some 4x4s can manage 50mpg these days. But only the shit ones. I for one enjoy cowering in fear as some 5 litre behemoth bears down on me on the wrong side of the road, the nanny and 3 of the kids all sharing the driving. That might only apply to the country lanes around Alderley Edge and Wilmslow, in fairness. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110136 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 19:57:54 +0000 dvo4fun 110136@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fuck all the motor fuel references - what I want to know is what temperature do you set for your central heating and how long do you run your power-shower? Every litre of domestic oil/gas/peat that someone (else) burns is another nanosecond nearer the time when all the however many there are polar ice caps melt. </p> <p>Hang on though ..<br /> I'm approaching state pensionable age...<br /> The mean temperature of the planet is something or other - which is..<br /> A degree or so higher than it was some time ago..<br /> So, do something mathematicallish with a calculator..</p> <p>I think it'll see me out. Hoorah. After you with the Aston Martin </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110113 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 12:16:54 +0000 godly1966 110113@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo I agree BMW drivers do drive to close behind you on motorways but it is not their fault it is just how they have evolved. Millions of years ago when man first learnt to walk upright he evolved to walk leaving a gap between himself and the person in front to allow for the size of his penis and prevent any accidental poking of the man in front. Millions of years later men still walk leaving a gap in front of them so as not to engage in any unwanted poking action, if you have a large penis you will leave a large gap and if you are deficient in the penis department you will leave a small gap. This behaviour subconsciously carries over in to driving technique and therefore the gap left between a male driver and the car in front is dependent on the size of his penis, but the driver has no control over this as it is the result of millions of years of evolution and not his fault. BMW have for years been marketing their cars at penis deficient men which explains the amount of tailgating by BMWs on the motorway. Many insurance companies are now asking for penis size to be declared on all applications for BMW insurance.I allways leave at least twenty car spaces between me and the car infront. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38829#post-110112 Sun, 19 Feb 2012 12:08:45 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 110112@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree with Golgo, and let's not even get started on MP's expenses.</p> <p>But I think the real underlying issue here isn't that some women drive 4x4s, it's that women are allowed to drive at all. Surely in the interests of safety they should just stay at home. </p>