http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 06:57:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109475 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:39:14 +0000 Perks 109475@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great FP. nice work </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109467 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:31:39 +0000 Midfield Diamond 109467@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A deserved FP, and a nice job on the pic too </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109458 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:19:07 +0000 writinginbsl 109458@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice idea</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109412 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 08:40:52 +0000 Username 109412@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can't believe how you've looked into my heart so unfalteringly. We've never been married, have we?? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109404 Tue, 14 Feb 2012 08:23:33 +0000 dvo4fun 109404@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovey FP </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109386 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 22:45:45 +0000 markbuontempo 109386@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Luurve it 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109380 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:27:19 +0000 Qoxiivi 109380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. I see some prick has still seen fit to give it one star though. Pathetic. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109379 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:06:58 +0000 nickb 109379@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Top </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109371 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:00:58 +0000 Immunis 109371@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5 stars for getting to the heart of the matter </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109309 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:41:53 +0000 Major Clanger 109309@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Where's my nearest stockist? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109293 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:18:54 +0000 cinquecento 109293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>like it, 5*, I'll take one and please have it cc'd to my solicitor </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109286 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:09:00 +0000 dvo4fun 109286@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely concept - "an experienced Valentine’s campaigner " though my favourite line is ‘Don’t worry, sometimes I can’t find my clitoris either’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38607#post-109274 Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:52:28 +0000 Long Distance Clara 109274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Clinton Cards launches range of equivocal Valentine’s cards for unfulfilling relationships</strong></p> <p>Following complaints from customers who find themselves in relationships lacking the life-long commitment implied by traditional Valentine’s messages, Clinton Cards has launched a range of greetings for this Feb 14th capturing more tentative and conditional expressions of limited affection.</p> <p>‘Anything which says <em>‘I love you’</em> or <em>‘You are the one for me’</em> immediately gets things off on the wrong foot,’ said 33-year-old commitment-phobe Tim Jasper, an experienced Valentine’s campaigner with a host of failed short-term relationships behind him. ‘The last thing you want to be doing on the most romantic day of the year is raising expectations and writing cheques that can’t be cashed, but of course you can’t do the decent thing and dump her. So you need to find a third way, and a card which says <em>‘Be mine today, tomorrow, and maybe some of the days after – no promises!’</em> does just that.’</p> <p>The new range of cards features both his and hers greetings. Valentine’s messages from him include the giftless romanticism of <em>‘Roses are red, violets are blue, they’d sold out of flowers, what can you do?’</em> and the infinitely hopeful <em>‘With you by my side life feels full of new and exciting opportunities. Why not invite your sister along tonight?’</em> Meanwhile women can show the man in their life their true feelings with greetings such as <em>‘I only close my eyes when we kiss on my optician’s advice’</em> and <em>‘Don’t worry, sometimes I can’t find my clitoris either’</em>.</p> <p>Clinton Cards is delighted by the success of the new range. ‘Some people have suggested we should have produced a wider range of cards, but the beauty of a terminal relationship is that you don’t have to worry about finding a different card next year. You can buy the same card and just change the recipient.’</p> <p>But for some the new cards have helped make Valentine’s special again. ‘For years I’d been searching for an off-the-shelf card with the greeting <em>‘I knew from the moment we met that without a change of heart from my exes the chances of you and I being together always were no worse than fair to middling’</em>,’ said 28-year-old Lee Wright. ‘And my girlfriend was delighted to find one which said <em>‘All that stands between us and happiness is a major neuro-pharmacological breakthrough’</em>. It was the perfect day. I think I might be in love.’ </p>