http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 07:21:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1417 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:30:31 +0000 Quaz 1417@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ok, so how about replacing the final paragraph with</p> <p>A Facebook group in the UK is already gaining support for “Two World wars and one World cup”. Meanwhile in a poll on the YouGov website the most popular options were "Soft toilet paper", "Free Internet Porn" and "Downloadable mobile phone ringtones". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1371 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:56:04 +0000 Mrblacker 1371@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I love this - what about age-related 'the best things since....', then you could expand it with a series of approved 'BTS'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1327 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:58:55 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 1327@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Better than soft bog paper.....?" Well, that'd be day old chicks, wouldn't it?</p> <p>Thank god I don't have telly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1277 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:55:21 +0000 Alex London 1277@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Grodon Brown (BTW love that spelling) counts for billions if not a trillion or so, but he certainly deserves ot be included. Next to the soft bog paper? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1276 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:36:33 +0000 John Square 1276@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really like the Grodon Brown bit.</p> <p>He saved the world, after all, and that must surely count for something. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1248 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:52:37 +0000 bang2rights 1248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good idea and deserving a top score. How about replacing your Gordon Brown pay-off with something around 'the best thing since telephone voting for TV talent shows'? Or something. No, it's no good. You'll have to come up with your own prejudice, I'm afraid. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1246 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:31:27 +0000 Stan Laurel 1246@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>May I pitch in with the following for a last line?</p> <p><strong>Meanwhile there is a growing concensus that all other suggestions will be wiped away by the proposal that the new benchmark should be "better than soft bog paper".</strong> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1239 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:02:15 +0000 Quaz 1239@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I agree Sauce, the ending needs a little work, I was really struggling for a punchline there.</p> <p>Hunter - a point well made. If call centres are the answer then we really need to ask a different question. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1148 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:58:20 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 1148@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It appears that under the relentless dominion of market theory, a revised dictum would inspire itself from the expression of it's very epitome. Thus: <strong>"....the best thing since call centres"</strong> would do it. Participants paid on commission basis are exceptionally keen, create a tiny carbon footprint, accrue no unemployment or retirement benefits, do not live to retirement home age, and their frenetic eagerness to sell unwanted product is especially irritating to the well-off who would gladly have them all executed at dawn.</p> <p>All this contributes an atmosphere where a general hardening, mutual exasperation and cruel thoughtlessness increases, and augures well if the next, vital, social engineering stage is to be reached in time for the proverbial "fire and the sword" to be wielded effectively, and without blame to the planners and perpetrators. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1143 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:53:57 +0000 sauce 1143@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have full marks for this engaging sociological treatise.</p> <p>Does the ending need a little more flavour, perhaps? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1139 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 00:24:58 +0000 Quaz 1139@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The British Standards Institute has announced plans to replace Sliced Bread as the usual measure of how good a new invention is. From 2012 it will no longer be permissible to refer to some new development as being “the best thing since sliced bread”, with a consultation process due to take place over the coming year to determine a new standard of greatness. This will feed into a wider European directive to find a standard unit of greatness which will apply across the entire EU.</p> <p>Sliced Bread was first introduced in 1928, and superceded the previous “best thing”, which was wrapped bread. In recent years sliced bread has lost some of its allure, with many people preferring crusty loaves or baguettes, and developments such as the laser, computers, and organ transplants making the simple slicing of bread look increasingly old fashioned. The BSI document “Guidelines for Greatness” states that suggestions should be something modern yet timeless with a wide popular appeal and positive connotations. Suggestions already rejected include Katie Price, Ikea, call centres and hedge fund managers.</p> <p>The French have already made early submissions for the adoption of Pain Au Chocolate and “Being French” although these look unlikely to be adopted, the former because it discriminates against people with a Gluten intolerance, and the latter because it is a breach of advertising standards. A block of East European nations are considering going with “Red Meat”, while Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi is strongly backing a submission of “Silvio Berlusconi”.</p> <p>A Facebook group in the UK is already gaining support for “Two World wars and one World cup”, while Gordon Brown has weighed into the debate, stating “It’s me. I’m the best thing since sliced bread, and here is a spreadsheet to prove it. If anyone disagrees then they are wrong and are out to get me and I will beat them with a telephone until they agree.” </p>