http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 15:40:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108678 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:52:09 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 108678@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We had a science teacher who was drunk all the time. He would disappear into the store cupboard regularly and come out slightly more un-steadier than he went in. We spent all our time burning things (usually eyebrows) on the bunsen burners. Good times... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108673 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:30:46 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 108673@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I had a tough but awe-inspiring technical drawing teacher called ‘Chalky’ White; he was a crack shot with the board rubber. No sooner had an errant pupil (me) turned to a classmate to talk than the thing would whistle past inches from one’s head. Pity for the kid behind you if they had slow reflexes. Still, it did wonders for our cricket team. I wonder what teachers hurl these days?<br /> He also served in the tank regiment during the war, but he’d never talk about his experiences; however, in the summer when he’d remove his jacket to teach, you could see several lumps that were missing from his arms due to shrapnel. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108657 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:56:32 +0000 beau-jolly 108657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I beleive that these days teacher's pet tends to dob them in for grooming. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108656 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:51:35 +0000 cinquecento 108656@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>what has happened to the pivotal role of blackboard cleaner in this new age of interactive whiteboards? what does teacher's pet get to do these days - press Delete? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108646 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:09:42 +0000 beau-jolly 108646@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>JFR: when they are in prison </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108624 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:50:22 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 108624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"all the classrooms are equipped with interactive whiteboards powered by computer-linked projectors. Oh, and every child of course has a laptop. And this is only up to age 11”...<br /> Amazing! When do they start learning to read and write? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108605 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 08:55:32 +0000 Son of Barnabas 108605@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Blackboard??? when was the last time you visited a school. I looked round the new extension to our kids' old school the other day (first time back there in over 20 years) and all the classrooms are equipped with interactive whiteboards powered by computer-linked projectors. Oh, and every child of course has a laptop. And this is only up to age 11. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108596 Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:49:12 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 108596@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Duly chastised Mary... Erm, are we still allowed to call it a blackboard? My wee niece says they aren't allowed to use that word in school anymore. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108529 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:37:31 +0000 Mary Evans 108529@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Right - 13, Squirrel, hrimnir - I'll see you after class. We're not at home to Mr Smutty in my lectures. Mrs Smutty, well there's a whole different kettle of... yeah, anyway, clean the blackboard. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108460 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:49:23 +0000 andhrimnir 108460@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Woody and Buzz - more like the toys of Andy's mum.</p> <p>**snigger** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108455 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:23:37 +0000 beau-jolly 108455@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, from acedemia to smut in 6 moves. It's like Mornington Crescent in dirty macs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108445 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:56:03 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 108445@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think Morgan Freeman should do a voice-over for a porno, reckon he could be the David Attenborough of mucky films </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108431 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:36:28 +0000 dvo4fun 108431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Golgo - I'll try not to remember that at the appropriate time </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108429 Tue, 07 Feb 2012 06:55:28 +0000 Golgo13 108429@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...And he had Morgan Freeman to do the commentary...</p> <p>Come on, we've all wanted Morgan Freeman to stand in the corner of the bedroom making slow, solemn comments about our foreplay, haven't we?</p> <p>"Golgo didn't come up for air for almost ten minutes that day... And I guess you could say his wife was glad he had had a shave...</p> <p>...I'm Morgan Freeman..." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108409 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:30:34 +0000 Mary Evans 108409@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jen, I would love you on my course, although can assure you there is no bigger gobshite in my class than the lecturer. Chaps, you make excellent points and besides, I fail to see what the problem was in Shawshank. He got free food and regular sex. What's not to like? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108408 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:15:50 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108408@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A wily Appeals lawyer would've had him out and compensated for wrongful imprisonment in no time.<br /> And on Legal Aid. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108405 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:07:15 +0000 dvo4fun 108405@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd have gone for a helicopter </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108404 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 19:52:44 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 108404@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surely a bigger hammer would have just drawn the attention of the guards and nullified his escape attempt? Not very bright, your students. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108402 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:44:17 +0000 The All New Jeni B 108402@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>My faith in my fellow students is restored.</p> <p>Wish I could transfer to your course Maz, although I'd still be the class gob-shite. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38333#post-108396 Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:05:12 +0000 Mary Evans 108396@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have just had the most brilliant day lecturing (at university, not just random treatises around the place) and had to share possibly my favourite student response to a question yet. </p> <p>Today's session was about plot. I teach this by going through The Ten Questions that I was taught when I did a BBC shadow scheme a couple of years ago. These create a very useful scaffold to build a story, and centre on establishing what a character wants, what they need and whether they achieve either, both, or neither. To illustrate the point, we examined the films Toy Story and The Shawshank Redemption, analysing what the protagonists of both films want and need. </p> <p>Having dealt with Woody in Toy Story, we discussed what Andy Duphraine wanted in Shawshank. They correctly identified that while initially he wants to assert his innocence, ultimately he wants his freedom. So we moved on to what he needs. The answer I was looking for was 'survival' so that we could establish this most basic of human impulses as a motor for plot, But instead, I faced my class as a hand shot up at the back when I asked, 'so what does Andy Duphraine need?' The answer?</p> <p>'A bigger hammer.' </p>