Forum » Topic: Screen Biscuit

Forum » Topic: Screen Biscuit http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:00:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php markbuontempo on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107234 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:07:21 +0000 markbuontempo 107234@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Brilliant - still laughing at the Can't Cook Fuck That title Spacey on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107180 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:38:12 +0000 Spacey 107180@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Hey Golgo, I wasn't suggesting that you were, just that I've come to expect the comparison. Considering the concept is identical, I can't complain. Golgo13 on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107172 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:02:15 +0000 Golgo13 107172@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ @spacey I'm sure I wasn't trying to be a dick by posting the TV Go Home links...I just reckon they're too good not to share. beau-jolly on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107157 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:25:41 +0000 beau-jolly 107157@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Gypsy Blood (C4) Thieving pikey bastards beat the shit out of each other for our general entertainment and amusement Al McHogan on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107125 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:37:18 +0000 Al McHogan 107125@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ "I couldn't even remember eating sweetcorn," recalls the man-shouldered presenter. "The tomato skins are a mystery as well." button on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107122 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:20:25 +0000 button 107122@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I belive Jenni Falconer has 'breached the hull' Vertically Challenged Giant on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107121 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:04:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 107121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Holmes under the hammer 2-part special, ITV1, In the first part this week viewers lodge bids for tubby TV presenter Eamonn Holmes in an auction held via a premium rate phone line. Next week's concluding part will see the winning bidder chase Holmes around the studio attempting to hit him in the face with a 9lb lump hammer. Will they catch him? Or is he quicker than he looks? kimllfixit on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107120 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:46:28 +0000 kimllfixit 107120@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Postcode Lottery Six hopeful kids battle it out for a single place at their local primary school. Warning: contains scenes of a violent nature. Spacey on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107119 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:34:49 +0000 Spacey 107119@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I've written a few of these for NewsThump <a href="http://newsthump.com/?s=screenthump" rel="nofollow">http://newsthump.com/?s=screenthump</a> When I started I was unaware of <a href="http://www.tvgohome.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.tvgohome.com</a> but was made aware when it was mentioned by the highly intelligent and attractive NewsThump readers on Facebook. I'm naturally delighted that Golgo13 has continued this fine tradition. dvo4fun on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107088 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:17:40 +0000 dvo4fun 107088@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I had to take my glasses of [no, honest] and wipe my tears away. And I was whimpering. On balance perhaps "Most of the keys have been removed from his anus, but they're having a few complications with the stool," reveals the former Squeeze member's manager. might be my personal favourite 62 stars Golgo13 on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107085 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:03:45 +0000 Golgo13 107085@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ "Cunt" was made into an actual TV programme written by Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris. <a href="http://www.tvgohome.com/140599.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.tvgohome.com/140599.html</a> They changed the title to Nathan Barley though. Username on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107082 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:45:18 +0000 Username 107082@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Classy stuff. Lovely. Golgo13 on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107081 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:44:17 +0000 Golgo13 107081@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <a href="http://www.tvgohome.com/020499.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.tvgohome.com/020499.html</a> waylandsmithy on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107080 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:14:41 +0000 waylandsmithy 107080@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I haven't seen other comedy, but I've heard of it. Is it a new flavour of cheese? Can't take much credit for this post, by the way: it's very much mainly the work of Gary Stanton and Spacey. Golgo13 on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107075 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:57:05 +0000 Golgo13 107075@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Added link after you replied. Not implying plagiarism. Otherwise I could say "have you seen other comedy" and suggest that you copied the idea for being funny from someone else. waylandsmithy on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107074 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:52:10 +0000 waylandsmithy 107074@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ No, but I've heard of it. It's not plagiarism if you haven't seen it. Probably. Golgo13 on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107073 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:50:39 +0000 Golgo13 107073@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Did you ever read TV Go Home? <a href="http://www.tvgohome.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.tvgohome.com/</a> Put down some newspaper, because you will piss yourselves, people! kga6 on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107072 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:40:43 +0000 kga6 107072@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I have not laughed so much at a Newsbiscuit post - ever. This one's a keeper. Dickens or Shakespeare on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107070 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:33:42 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 107070@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ The Money Programme Harry Redknapp shows you how to complete your tax return. Coronation Chicken Street A slightly Asian family move in from the Far East (Bradford). Dickens or Shakespeare on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107069 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:31:12 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 107069@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Are you all the same person? Vertically Challenged Giant on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107068 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:29:08 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 107068@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I have a question about this sub. Well, kind of about this sub. What the fuck have you 3 been smoking? Mental. Brilliant. Love it. waylandsmithy on "Screen Biscuit" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37910#post-107066 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:09:18 +0000 waylandsmithy 107066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ By Spacey, Gary Stanton and Waylandsmithy Your handy print off and forget about guide to the weeks television highlights Celebrity Toilet Mishaps This week National Lottery hostess Jenni Falconer remembers the time that her fingers went through the toilet paper, leaving her with excrement on her hand. "I couldn't even remember eating sweetcorn," recalls the man-shouldered presenter. How To Look Good In Solitary Confinement The Gok Wan roadshow makes a beeline for Guantanamo. Tonight the fashion guru gives a pep talk to chronically depressed inmates who don't take too kindly to being called 'girlfriend'. Meanwhile orange jumps suits are out as Auntie Gok's sassy new range of waterproofs ensure inmates can look just great when undergoing 'enhanced interrogation techniques' Teenage Militant Ninja Students More cartoon capers as the gang set about causing further trouble for the establishment. Gavin sticks it to the man by throwing a shopping trolley off a multi-storey car park after he finds out the food parcel his mum sent him doesn't contain his usual brand of duck pate. Leslie Grantham's Web Cam Wanks Jizz-based game show hosted by former EastEnder Leslie Grantham. Female contestants compete for cash by attempting to determine the identity of Panto stars that are furiously masturbating at them via web cam. Can they guess the celebrities' identities before they fire off their filthy man-muck? Jools Holland Uninvited Jools Holland turns up out of the blue to add some piano accompaniment to a set being performed by a popular Musician. This week Jools interrupts a concert by Marilyn Manson in an attempt to provide the shock rocker's set with a more honky tonk edge. "Most of the keys have been removed from his anus, but they're having a few complications with the stool," reveals the former Squeeze member's manager. Pro-Celebrity Soggy Biscuit More masturbating mayhem as Joe Pasquale teams up with 3 times UK champion John 'Jizzy' Gillespie to take on Public Enemy's Flavor Flav and current US champ Hank 'The Spoff' Hasselspoff. A controversial contest as Joe and Jizzy win the toss and choose a Jaffa Cake as the target for their he-mess. Flav and The Spoff refer the selection to the referee, but with the pages of the rule book stuck together it goes to the public vote. Genitals Do The Funniest Things Hilarious show in which Michael Barrymore interviews men who have absolutely no control over the antics of their genitals. The 'owright' star, who may or may not harbour a dark secret, also meets a woman whose vagina resembles Predator eating a kebab. Opinionated Slags Ill-informed lunchtime gossip show cum women's magazine featuring Lynda Bellingham and Carol Vorderman talking about stuff that appeals to people who hate themselves and have nothing better to do. This week: waxing Amish Winehouse A five part documentary that seeks to explore the toxic effects of extreme drinking on the hitherto teetotal Amish community of Winsconsin. Todd turns up at Bible study with a delicious Cabernet Sauvignon, but is thrashed to with an inch of his life as punishment. The community comes together in deciding the right moment to switch off his life support machine. Park and Ride Join members of the influential nineties shoegaze combo 'Ride' as they find interesting stuff to do in parks. This week frontman Mark builds an excellent den out of bracken but the day turns sour when Loz gets his fingers bitten by a squirrel. The boys then argue about whether he should go for a tetanus jab 1,000 lb Drop Live Davina McCall is joined by two more cocky retards, as they attempt to throw heavy objects from the balcony of her hotel. Available in metric on digital channels. Celebrity stashed in the attic Noel Edmonds has been wrapped in old paper and stuffed in a loft. Can you be bothered to find out if it's yours? Subtitles, if the banging gets too loud. I Can Afford a Massive House Kirsty and Phil help another couple flaunt their unlikely wealth, as they moan and bitch about a series of castles within commuting distance of their imaginary successful business. Will they actually buy one, or decide to stay in their council house? Can't Cook Fuck That A lazy twat eats a pizza that's still frozen, while watching a cookery programme in his saggy pants. Contains upsetting scenes. Quadroschizophrenia (1978, PG) A group of four young mods travel to Brighton on mopeds that only exist in their imagination. Will they make it all the way without having a complete breakdown? Described by critics as 'the feel odd film of the year' and 'insensitive horseshit'. Contains some strobe lighting and a voice telling you to obey chickens.