Forum » Topic: Blues and C&W

Forum » Topic: Blues and C&W http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 21:58:59 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php writinginbsl on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-107267 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:12:31 +0000 writinginbsl 107267@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raImRyP4oWU" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raImRyP4oWU</a> WARNING: contains tits a new depth in the art of songwriting and performance-filmed in a tethered dinghy introducing the concept of quantum music-in many keys at once I will not be responsible for your lover's attraction I will not be a victim of your aggressive reaction Now turn around and be the best you can be you'll be amazed how it'll set you free from your wicked jealousy Don't put it on me girl don't put it on me girl, no Don't put it on me girl, don't (repeat) When I go shopping ah all eyes be poppin When I'm a walking ah all jaws be droppin He'll try to be fly when I I walk by It's not my fault you can't control your guy oh! I will not be responsible for your lover's attraction I will not be a victim of your aggressive reaction Now turn around and be the best you can be you'll be amazed how it'll set you free from your wicked jealousy (Chorus)????? I want you to know that in another time we could be friends Share what is ahead of us in life so why don't you open up and let me get close? I am a good friend you will remember the most you will remember (chorus) I don't dress for him, I dress for me. bless-she obviously got cold half way through-who needs continuity anyway.. godly1966 on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-107262 Fri, 27 Jan 2012 09:46:00 +0000 godly1966 107262@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ As unofficial rapper for the Luton & district poultry club here is a work in progress. Obviously it needs a rap sound track and lots off semi naked gyrating r&b women in the video. Poultry, it’s where it’s at If you join our club you’ll never look back, We’ve got chickens from every nation We’re not ones to boast but were a poultry sensation. Some rioting scum tried to torch my chickens So we gave the all a bloody good kick in, Another little git tried to grab my cock So I bopped him on the head with a barred Plymouth rock. Were the poultry club with attitude we can show our cocks But were not being rude, if your all alone and desperate for a duck you can join our club you never know your luck. Quaz on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-107232 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:03:57 +0000 Quaz 107232@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Beau, "My granny died in the grotto at Lourdes, coz a hunchback pushed her in" is the full title, "Granny's a cripple in nashville" is the first line, and the short name. brownpaperreporter on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-107018 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:22:35 +0000 brownpaperreporter 107018@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Yes my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends This story I tell you true One day she went out on her wheelchair Never knowing it had a loose screw Well a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends And on three wheels it trundled away And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff In an old seaside town far away (Country and Western noises) Now the boy who was pushing the wheelchair Was a little blind orphan call Joe And he said, "Oh where is my grannie?" And where did that damn wheelchair go Well he ran off to search for that wheelchair friends But his sightless eyes led him astray And he ran right over the edge of the cliff In that old seaside town far away (Country and Western noises) Well somebody sent for a doctor And an ambulance too, it was called And the people who lived in the neighbourhood Stood around and they cried, how they bawled Well the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends They were rushing from two different ways And they crashed with a BIFF and shot over the cliff In that old seaside town far away (Country and Western noises) Well they sent for brave Father Maloney To pray for the poor souls repose And he said, "Well now that we're gathered here, good people" "Well we might as well pray I suppose" But too many people had gathered And the edge of the cliff gave way And they dropped with a yell and they all shot straight to hell In that old seaside town so terribly far away beau-jolly on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-107004 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:46:04 +0000 beau-jolly 107004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I'll answer my own question. It was "Drop kick me, Jesus,(through the goalposts of life)" Written by Paul Craft and performed by Bobby Bare. beau-jolly on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106991 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:20:39 +0000 beau-jolly 106991@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ The Goodies! I wondered who wrote Sick Man Blues. A mate of mine has a great rock band but he often includes that in the set just for my amusement. I think BC also wrote, "My Granny's a cripple in Nashville" Does anyone know who wrote "Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of your love"? Quaz on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106899 Tue, 24 Jan 2012 22:06:26 +0000 Quaz 106899@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ That Billy Connolly track is a mainstay of my guitar repertoire. The Goodies, "Sick Man Blues" Woke up this mornin', felt so sick I thought I was dead Felt sick in my stomach, felt sick in my head So I rolled over on my pillow And I threw up all over the bed A great real c&w track is "Yabba daba do, the King is gone, and so are you" by George Jones. A reformed drinker now, allegedly he was once so drunk that his wife hid the car keys to stop him driving to the liquor store, so he drove there on a ride-on lawn mower instead. brownpaperreporter on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106892 Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:14:41 +0000 brownpaperreporter 106892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Genuine C&W ... Send me the Pillow You Dream On .... But my favourite C&W one is from Billy Connolly the man who put the cnut in country music "My granny died in the grotto at Lourdes, coz a hunchback pushed her in" Working on the basis that you need Religion Death and plenty of it Death befalling to a relative, preferably close Some poor unfortunate type with a terrible ailment After that all C&W songs made sense Iscariot on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106850 Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:06:44 +0000 Iscariot 106850@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Here's some fake C&W titles. Someone will probably get round to writing them: If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, Then I'd Be Out By Now My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well I Thought I Had Tourette's, But I Just Like Talkin' Dirty To You The Ballad of Pretty Mouth Dan Smells Like Team Roping I Dropped the Bookcase On My Darlin' and Pleaded Shelf Defense Tearstains on My Pillow Are the Only Wet Spots in My Bed I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling The Trailer Sure Seems Lonely Now That You and Our Nine Kids Are Gone Scroat on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106827 Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:28:48 +0000 Scroat 106827@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Oh..God oh no..oh God no..oh..ah..no ah AAh..oh.. Aawaah..ohh John Ffitch-Rucker on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106807 Tue, 24 Jan 2012 09:05:33 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 106807@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Deep Purple are hard to beat; this is ‘child in time': Sweet child in time You'll see the line The line that's drawn between Good and bad See the blind man Shooting at the world Bullets flying Ohh taking toll If you've been bad Oh Lord I bet you have And you've not been hit Oh by flying lead You'd better close your eyes Ooohhhh bow your head Wait for the ricochet Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Ooo, ooo ooo Ooo ooo ooo Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Ooo, ooo ooo Ooo ooo ooo Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Aah I wanna hear you sing Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Aaahhhh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Sweet child in time You'll see the line The line that's drawn between Good and bad See the blind man Shooting at the world Bullets flying Mmmm taking toll If you've been bad Lord I bet you have And you've not been hit Oh by flying lead You'd better close your eyes Ooohhhhhhh bow your head Wait for the ricochet Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Ooo, ooo ooo Ooo ooo ooo Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Oooooo ooooooo ooooooo Ooo, ooo ooo Ooo ooo ooo Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Aah I gotta hear you sing Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Aah Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Aah Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aaaahh aaaahh aaaahh Aahh, aahh aahh Oh..God oh no..oh God no..oh..ah..no ah AAh..oh.. Aawaah..ohh Ironduke on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106798 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:58:07 +0000 Ironduke 106798@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I still quote the last line when I'm served black coffee. Works for me... Ironduke on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106797 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:55:30 +0000 Ironduke 106797@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ This should bring you back- utter, utter nonsense babble with a cracking bass line that still makes you want to punch the air, grow a mullett, iron a patch on your denim jacket and scream into a hairbrush....evry detail included just to prove it gets no better...the mighty Def Leppard with.... "Pour Some Sugar On Me" Step inside, walk this way You and me babe, Hey, hey! Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man? Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light Television lover, baby, go all night Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah Hey! C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up Break the bubble, break it up Pour some sugar on me Ooh, in the name of love Pour some sugar on me C'mon, fire me up Pour your sugar on me Oh, I can't get enough I'm hot, sticky sweet From my head to my feet, yeah Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go! Crazy little woman in a one man show Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little Tease a little more Easy operator come a knockin' on my door Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah, yeah Give a little more Take a bottle, shake it up Break the bubble, break it up Pour some sugar on me Ooh, in the name of love Pour some sugar on me C'mon fire me up Pour your sugar on me Oh, I can't get enough I'm hot, sticky sweet From my head to my feet yeah [guitar solo] You got the peaches, I got the cream Sweet to taste, saccharine 'cause I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet From my head, my head, to my feet Do you take sugar? one lump or two? Take a bottle, shake it up Break the bubble, break it up Pour some sugar on me Ooh, in the name of love Pour some sugar on me C'mon fire me up Pour your sugar on me Oh, I can't get enough Pour some sugar on me Oh, in the name of love Pour some sugar on me Get it, come get it Pour your sugar on me Ooh Pour some sugar on me Yeah! Sugar me! Scroat on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106795 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:49:22 +0000 Scroat 106795@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Just going to run a bath and open a vein or two... Dickens or Shakespeare on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106788 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:36:44 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 106788@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Zappa - Road Ladies <blockquote>Don't it ever get lonesome? Yeah! Sure gets lonesome . . . Don't it ever get sad when you go out on the road? Oh, there was one time in Minneapolis . . . when I thought I had the clap for sure Don't it ever get lonesome? Lonesome ain't the word Don't it ever get sad when you go out on a thirty day tour? Oh, I'll take away . . . You got nothing but groupies and promotors to love you And a pile of laundry by the hotel door Don't it ever get lonesome? Don't it ever give a young man the blues? Don't it ever get lonesome? Don't it ever make a young man wanna go back home? When the P.A. system eats it, And the band plays some of the most terrible shit you've ever known</blockquote> Sinnick on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106786 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:24:24 +0000 Sinnick 106786@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ There's GOT to be a decent FP here somewhere, maybe about C&W revival (did it ever die, or just get shut in the attic with a photo of the ex-wife's dog's best friend ?). Maybe the ongoing recession an provide some inspiration ? The All New Jeni B on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106783 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:58:16 +0000 The All New Jeni B 106783@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I had a lecturer at College who was in a Blues band, and he had a song whose first line was, "I woke up this morning, thank fuck for that..." John Ffitch-Rucker on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106777 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:44:45 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 106777@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I heard Arthur Smith running through some C&W songs on Ned Sherrin’s show once; the ones I remember are ‘I wouldn’t take you to a dog fight, even if I thought you could win’, ‘my wife left with my best friend and I still miss him’ and ‘if you want to keep your beer cold put it next to my ex-wife’s heart’. As for blues songs, perhaps we could update them? For example ‘my iPhone just called me a loser and my broadband connection is real slow,’ 'I’ve got those eurozone crisis blues’ or ‘I didn’t wake up this morning, cause I’m in a Southern Cross nursing home’. The All New Jeni B on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106768 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:08:12 +0000 The All New Jeni B 106768@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Christ! As if Sunday afternoons weren't depressing enough. Our local am Radio station has a wonderfully entertaining call-in show on a Sunday morning, where listeners phone up to complain about the increase in the cost of the local paper, or that their morning walk was blighted by a cyclist or some other such gubbins. Interspersed amongst all these incomprehensible calls, they play horrendous C&W "songs" that can drive you to drink. dvo4fun on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106764 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:43:49 +0000 dvo4fun 106764@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I now feel some awful magnetism pulling me towards ... Radio .... Berkshire ... next ...Sunday ... p.m. Scroat on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106758 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:04:34 +0000 Scroat 106758@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Radio Berkshire has a really depressing Irish C&W prog on Sunday afternoons. Listen at your peril. If you're feeling mildly suicidal, this will convince you that it's the thing to do. Also other crap songs. "I've got a Honda 50/It's rapid and it's nifty/It'll do a hundred and fifty/On a windy day." Spew. beau-jolly on "Blues and C&W" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37830#post-106748 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:35:07 +0000 beau-jolly 106748@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ "Listening" to Scroat FM made me think of all those great C&W titles like "Take your tongue out of my mouth, I'm kissin' you goodbye". I think we may have done that before so what about blues songs? My starter: Lost my alarm clock blues: "Woke up this afternoon..."