Forum » Topic: Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure

Forum » Topic: Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 13:21:52 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php bobo lutz on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106102 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:09:51 +0000 bobo lutz 106102@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Brilliant idea and very well developed. Nice work. button on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106045 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:13:15 +0000 button 106045@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ You even got a comma returned to the headline kga6 on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106036 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 07:08:43 +0000 kga6 106036@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Excellent indeed. Nick McCarr on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106035 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 07:08:02 +0000 Nick McCarr 106035@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Very original concept. I can see this being used in an episode of one of those shows. Astral thingys. Golgo13 on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106034 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 06:52:46 +0000 Golgo13 106034@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Cheers. First in a while. Think I'll give up on the Nick Clegg gags. Hint taken. Username on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106032 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:24:51 +0000 Username 106032@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ FP.Nice dvo4fun on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-106030 Tue, 17 Jan 2012 00:41:47 +0000 dvo4fun 106030@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Well deserved FP Golgo. I see I managed to miss off the stars earlier Psycadelic Squirrel on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105977 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:42:39 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 105977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Good stuff Golgo13 on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105975 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:21:26 +0000 Golgo13 105975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I guess we'll never know. Apologies also to anyone reading this who'd planned to watch Sherlock on iPlayer. sredni vashta on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105966 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:56:14 +0000 sredni vashta 105966@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I wonder if anyone has died whilst trying to fake their own suicide. Runestone Cowboy on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105955 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:00:03 +0000 Runestone Cowboy 105955@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Excellent. Vertically Challenged Giant on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105907 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:07:58 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 105907@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Excellent. Major Clanger on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105902 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:02:27 +0000 Major Clanger 105902@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Like it. Golgo13 on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105892 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:23:59 +0000 Golgo13 105892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I've tidied up the headline and added the Nick Clegg joke. I do like commas in headlines. I think they are the funniest punctuation mark. But perhaps best not to shoe-horn them into every one. button on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105883 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 10:32:15 +0000 button 105883@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Excellent (and I'm using your scoring system Golgo), although the headline is a bit confusing until you've read the story. It might work better just as "Return to Status Quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death" dvo4fun on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105880 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 10:25:54 +0000 dvo4fun 105880@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Lovely idea Golgo, have some stars Early morning for me, only 3x coffees down but "Nick Clegg was in a couple of hours before me. He'd chosen the 'Bland Twat' from the budget page of the Face Catalogue and came out looking like David Cameron. Just the same really." Or "So, I've decided to get a 'Sir Fred Goodwin' face and then take over his pension when I get back." Golgo13 on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105870 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:52:29 +0000 Golgo13 105870@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Anyone want to tack a Nick Clegg joke on the end? It would make it topical, and provide a neat punchline, but I can't bring myself to do it. Golgo13 on "Awkward return to status quo as UK comes to terms with mass faked death failure" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37537#post-105867 Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:43:26 +0000 Golgo13 105867@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Millions of Britons were left rolling their eyes and shrugging to each other today as it became clear that they had all chosen the same day to fake their own deaths. Whether they were escaping crippling debts, dysfunctional relationships or untenable positions at work, or just inspired to have a go by the final episode of Sherlock, the sheer number of British people who chose yesterday to become a modern-day Reginald Perrin and start a new life after staging their own demise has led to an uncomfortable recognition that they would all have to go back to their old identities. 41-year-old middle manager Paul Henderson, trapped in a loveless marriage for the last eleven years, had planned his ‘Great Escape’ for the last 18 months, and decided to use the traditional mid-January spike in suicides as camouflage for his ‘drowned-at-sea’ act, but was left gob-smacked when he found himself sitting down next to his own wife on a flight to Mexico where he was to become a goatherd. ‘It turns out she had just come from pushing the Volvo off Beachy Head to fake her own death, and well, long story short, blazing row, got chucked off the plane,’ explained an embarrassed Henderson. ‘I don’t think it would’ve worked anyway, with all the thousands of cars pushed off the South coast cliffs in the last 24 hours, and the coast guards being too busy clearing the Channel of empty canoes so that shipping could get through.’ Executives from Barclays Investment Bank were left similarly red-faced when they all turned up in the same Thai fishing village having separately filled their private jets with corpses and crashed them into the jungle. ‘I’d been covering up tens of millions of pounds worth of losses on my books for the last three years, and I knew it was going to come out,’ said would-be snorkel rental hut owner Philip Walker, a senior investor at the banking group, ‘but it turns out that was at the low end of the scale when I bumped into the guys. [Head of the FSA] Adair Turner had also faked his own death and rocked up to the same place. We were all booked at the same plastic surgeon too. It was very awkward. I guess I'll just have to go back to my original identity and get on with it.' After several faked death attempts going unnoticed, Nick Clegg is also thought to be resigned to carrying on with his current identity.