http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 10:40:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105778 Sun, 15 Jan 2012 10:52:54 +0000 hughesroland 105778@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>OK, let me know if this will do:</p> <p>The family of a Bristol woman who awoke from a six-year coma as film actor Danny Glover expressed their surprise at her transformation today.</p> <p>Doreen Peacock, 27, slipped into a coma in January 2006 when a heavy roll of carpet fell on her in her workplace. When she emerged from unconsciousness earlier this week, she awoke as Glover, 65, the star of the Lethal Weapon film series.</p> <p>"It's great to have her back with us," said Mrs Peacock's husband Martin, a tax inspector. "We'd been holding out hope for years that she would come back to us. But I have to admit, it might take a while for me to get used to sleeping every night next to the star of such hit films as Predator 2 and the 2012."</p> <p>The Peacocks' seven-year-old daughter Katie said: "Why is mummy a black man?"</p> <p>Mrs Peacock said she is hoping to take a break of several months before returning to work. Stroking her new moustache and speaking in Mr Glover's deep Californian voice, she said: "No-one is more surprised than me, believe me! I'd heard of people waking from comas with different accents, or speaking new languages, but this is something else.</p> <p>"I'd always wondered what it would be like to be a man, and now I know. It's just I'd never have imagined it would be Danny Glover, the renowned film actor and immigrants' rights activist."</p> <p>Mrs Peacock added that she felt less interested in continuing her previous spousal duties, and more in fighting crime and jumping of the roofs of buildings. "That is, until I feel too old for this shit," she said. Mr Peacock said: "I'll be completely honest, I'm already getting tired of her always talking about her friend Mel Gibson - it's 'Mel this, Mel that' at the moment, and it's putting a bit of a strain on our marriage.</p> <p>"I've tried telling her she is the victim of a rare medical occurrence in which she has morphed into a popular American actor, but she doesn't really listen, and instead points a fake gun at my head."</p> <p>Dr Henrik Wirths, professor of celebrity transmogrification at the Freie Universität of Berlin, said: "Incidences of comatose patients transforming into movie stars are incredibly unusual, this being the first recorded case, and I feel the last 30 years of my research and teaching have finally been vindicated.</p> <p>"What I find most interesting in this case is that a young white British woman has shape-shifted into the middle-aged black American star of so-so western Silverado, a film which would have been shot before she was even born. I would urge governments to increase funding post-haste into further research of celebrity transmogrification.</p> <p>"There is much work to be done, much of it involving adding confusing entries to IMDB."</p> <p>The real Danny Glover was unavailable for comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105756 Sun, 15 Jan 2012 01:27:42 +0000 FlashArry 105756@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good luck with the rework and a tilt at the front page ! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105728 Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:24:27 +0000 hughesroland 105728@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks chaps - will give it a thorough going-over in the morning to make it usable (my first submission after all, so it might take me a bit of time to get used to the Newsbiscuit tone!)</p> <p>Some excellent suggestions in here, mind - may well incorporate them! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105693 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 22:16:13 +0000 Newsquelch 105693@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is a great sub. *****</p> <p>When Doreen Peacock awoke she frantically searched for her sholder holster. Peacock then went on to admit she was very much in love with the 'hot one' from the golden girls 'Blanch' but couldn't quite understand why she was now endowed with a lessor moustache and her thighs were not as browned or muscular as she would hope.</p> <p>Peacock will appear in Die Hard 5 "running in comfy trousers" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105692 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 21:48:10 +0000 thisisall1word 105692@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent stuff.</p> <p>Dr Henrik Wirths, professor of celebrity transmogrification at the Freie Universität of Berlin, said: "Incidences of comatose patients transforming into movie stars are incredibly unusual, this being the first recorded case, and I feel the last 30 years of my research and teaching have finally been vindicated. What I find most interesting in this case is that a young white British woman has shape-shifted into the middle-aged black American star of so-so western Silverado, a film which would have been shot before she was even born. I would urge governments to increase funding post haste into further research of celebrity transmogrification, there is much work to be done, much of it adding confusing entries to IMDB." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105671 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 17:43:24 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 105671@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Presumably having Mel Gibson drop in for breakfast every morning will have an impact on the already strained domestic arrangements” ... especially if he calls Mr. Glover ‘sugar-tits." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105648 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 14:54:25 +0000 dvo4fun 105648@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Presumably having Mel Gibson drop in for breakfast every morning will have an impact on the already strained domestic arrangements </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105647 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 14:48:48 +0000 newsbiscuit editorial team 105647@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is a very funny idea, but it needs a bit more for a front page story. It spends a lot of time focusing on the fact of the woman waking as Danny Glover, but not enough on how she might behave differently and the implications for her day-to-day life and family. Lots of comedy potential here.</p> <p>Does hughesroland or anyone else fancy having a go at re-working it a little? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105600 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:30:35 +0000 bonjonelson 105600@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Final line should be</p> <p>"Danny Glover was unavailable for comment. His agent said he was 'too old for this shit'" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105599 Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:46:16 +0000 hughesroland 105599@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I love that last comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105533 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:55:13 +0000 Newsquelch 105533@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Woman in gloves combs her Danny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105531 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:51:46 +0000 medici2471 105531@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Woman awakes from comma in Waterstones </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105527 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:48:16 +0000 Newsquelch 105527@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I love this story. However, I feel like I've seen it before! Is this true? or was I dreaming it?</p> <p>In other news, a 23 year old woman awoke to find herself in the body of Antony Worrel-thompson. The press were constantly in attendance, until a spate of missing property emerged on the ward.</p> <p>***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37429#post-105410 Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:48:55 +0000 hughesroland 105410@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The family of a Bristol woman who awoke from a six-year coma as film actor Danny Glover expressed their surprise at her transformation today.</p> <p>Doreen Peacock, 27, slipped into a coma in January 2006 when a heavy roll of carpet fell on her in her workplace. When she emerged from unconsciousness earlier this week, she awoke as Glover, 65, the star of the Lethal Weapon film series.</p> <p>"It's great to have her back with us," said Mrs Peacock's husband Martin, a tax inspector. "We'd been holding out hope for years that she would come back to us. But I have to admit, it might take a while for me to get used to sleeping every night next to the star of such hit films as Predator 2 and the 2012."</p> <p>Doreen, who said she is hoping to take a break of several months before returning to work, said: "No-one is more surprised than me, believe me! I'd heard of people waking from comas with different accents, or speaking new languages, but this is something else.</p> <p>"I'd always wondered what it might be like to be a man, and now I know. It's just I would never have imagined it would be Danny Glover, the renowned film actor and immigrants' rights activist."</p> <p>Dr Henrik Wirths, professor of celebrity transmogrification at the Freie Universität of Berlin, said: "Incidences of comatose patients transforming into movie stars are not in themselves unusual, but what is interesting in this case is that a young white British woman has shape-shifted into a middle-aged black American man.</p> <p>"It is certainly intriguing, and almost certainly irreversible."</p> <p>Danny Glover was unavailable for comment. </p>