http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 00:07:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739&page=2#post-10995 Wed, 05 May 2010 19:30:45 +0000 ronseal 10995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>when i was young, I used to wear my jeans half way down my arse, showing acres of fat bottom cleavage</p> <p>pull your trousers up, lard arse, people used to say</p> <p>but 25 years later, every young and not so young woman follows my lead and wears their jeans at half mast.</p> <p>But do I get any recognition? what do you think?</p> <p>People think it's great being a style guru</p> <p>take it from me, it's not </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739&page=2#post-10978 Wed, 05 May 2010 16:16:38 +0000 PluckyMunky 10978@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Non-specific' sounds a little shady, Jeni. Do be careful. Anticipate with protection. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739&page=2#post-10975 Wed, 05 May 2010 16:08:51 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's occasional work, but when on duty it is likely to be 8pm until late.</p> <p>Please note, the flunky is expected to also act as chauffeur, barman, and will have various other non-specific duties. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739&page=2#post-10940 Wed, 05 May 2010 14:11:18 +0000 Zadok the second 10940@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>an eyelid flunky</blockquote></p> <p>What are the hours? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10933 Wed, 05 May 2010 13:17:04 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 10933@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The tight,wet-look, purple leather jacket I saw a bloke in his 50s wearing the other day. He was also wearing tight jeans and white brogues.<br /> I'm sorry if it was one of you but it looked like nothing on Earth. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10932 Wed, 05 May 2010 13:13:41 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 10932@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Short sleeved office shirts with a tie. Looks like Dilbert. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10878 Wed, 05 May 2010 10:06:35 +0000 Oxbridge 10878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Giving a shit about clothes. Leave that to the ladies, I say. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10877 Wed, 05 May 2010 10:05:06 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10877@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Muppet" is the only accurate way to describe Sturgeon. (Does anyone else see a fish theme in the SNP?)<br /> That hair is straight from Jim Henson.</p> <p>One of our local SNP MSP's is Shona Robison, her hair, before she started to straighten it, was so curly, velcro was magically drawn towards it. If that's what her head was like, I'd dread to think of "down below"! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10875 Wed, 05 May 2010 09:41:08 +0000 PluckyMunky 10875@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>HaHa! I didn't see that coming, Stunts! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10873 Wed, 05 May 2010 09:35:19 +0000 allmyownstunts 10873@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>three </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10871 Wed, 05 May 2010 09:33:27 +0000 PluckyMunky 10871@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Foul! That's 'muppet' used in two consecutive postings. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10856 Wed, 05 May 2010 08:46:39 +0000 allmyownstunts 10856@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Anyone north of t'border see Nicola Sturgeon in football strip last week, 'kicking' the ball like a girl past some poor, bribed schmucko goalie? </p> <p>She kept her giant, comedy pearls on and looked such a muppet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10855 Wed, 05 May 2010 08:40:01 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10855@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just had a flashback to Prescott racing some school kids on an athletics track, wearing a suit. Muppet. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10854 Wed, 05 May 2010 08:36:10 +0000 MADJEZ 10854@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Taking the topical angle my absolute pet-hate is politicians doing photo-ops kicking a football in a business suit and shiny shoes ! You wouldn't think to do it any other time and every other country in the world they'd do it in casual clothes. There's just something utterly twattish about trying to do something sporty in a suit (can't believe that doctor earlier).</p> <p>The other one is (particularly party leaders) taking off their ties to look 'casual'. I'm sorry but you are wearing a highly expensive Saville Row suit which isn't designed to be worn without a tie. If you wore a more casual shirt and jacket you might get away with it (something only Cameron seems to have thought of). Nick Clegg is the biggest offender. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10847 Wed, 05 May 2010 08:24:22 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10847@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sauce, I've got the perfect cure for wrinkles at the moment. It's called Sinusitis, and it's filled out all my eye-wrinkles.</p> <p>I foolishly agreed to allow a friend who does eye-lash extensions to use me as a guinea-pig for advertising pics. The results were stunning. It was an unbelievable transformation as instantly I became Lily Savage's rough daughter.<br /> Anyway, the extensions were so long, I needed an eyelid flunky to keep my eyes open.</p> <p>I don't think I'll ever be able to manage people, but that's a height thing more than anything else. When you are short, you run the risk of "Napolean Complex" being thrown at you if you are in any way assertive. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10812 Wed, 05 May 2010 05:43:58 +0000 sauce 10812@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Jeni, I hate to say this, but it gets worse as you get older. I got rat-arsed at a colleague's hen night last year when we'd dressed up OTT and I caught a glimpse in a glass door and looked round to see who the chap in drag was. Never could walk in 5" heels at the best of times. How I didn't break my leg that night I'll never know.</p> <p><em>But</em> I've discovered I can manage people better now I am no longer young and cute: respect is worth the wrinkles (and I've earned them). Mhwhahahaha. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10799 Tue, 04 May 2010 21:17:08 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10799@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think we've met ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10794 Tue, 04 May 2010 21:05:30 +0000 brownpaperreporter 10794@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I look like Clark Gable when Im pissed ...but when I wake up I look like a gabled roof </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10776 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:45:56 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10776@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have a rule that after applying make-up, doing my hair and getting all dressed up for a night out, under no circumstances will I look in a mirror.</p> <p>The image I have of myself in my head is ALWAYS very different to the reality after a few drinks in a warm pub. After midnight, it's guaranteed that the carefully applied eye make-up will now be sitting snuggly in my wrinkles, my artfully teased and styled barnet will be flatter than a flat fish after being run over by a steam roller, and my fashionably hip clothing will look bedraggled and dated.</p> <p>Far safer to live in ignorant bliss. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10774 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:40:44 +0000 brownpaperreporter 10774@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The morning prayer "who is this ugly fucker before me, round be thy belly. Forgive us now my daily shape and forgive those who snigger about me" .... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10770 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:19:45 +0000 PluckyMunky 10770@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr Reporter, I am sure that you are handsome as the Mr Depp and Mr Beckham, to whom the lovely Shitsu refers. Otherwise, avoid mirrors, like what I do. The worst ones are the ones that creep up on you in the bigger stores. You are just thinking, 'who is this ugly fucker in front of me?' and it turns out to be yourself. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10769 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:17:51 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10769@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Absolutely agree about Johnny Depp shitsu. He's also exempt from the pony-tail rule.<br /> As is Anthony Keidis. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10767 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:15:22 +0000 shitsu_tonka 10767@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Beards - creepy as all fuck apart from when Johnny Depp or David Beckham grows one, they're allowed, but no one else. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10766 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:13:12 +0000 brownpaperreporter 10766@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just me, in a mirror, every day ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10764 Tue, 04 May 2010 19:05:04 +0000 PluckyMunky 10764@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh gawd, Jeni, stop getting technical. Can you 'see' hair plugs? For me, comb-overs are the very worst, rugs are right behind them and...er..I don't know enought about hair plugs. They don't sound very nice though.</p> <p>I used to look after people who had ingrowing hairs in their botties, removed, called "pilonidal sinus'". They weren't very nice either. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10762 Tue, 04 May 2010 18:48:22 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10762@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Which is worse? Hair plugs, rugs, or comb-overs? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10748 Tue, 04 May 2010 18:23:09 +0000 PluckyMunky 10748@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rugs are sad, really. Even if you have millions, like Elton John, you can't hide the fact that it isn't real. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10744 Tue, 04 May 2010 18:08:47 +0000 edward hack 10744@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Although 'syrups' are the most belittling things imaginable the world would be a much poorer place without them.<br /> Next time your flight is delayed and you've had enough of charades, why not try a quick fire round of 'Spot the Syrup'.... hours of fun.<br /> Who else finds it virtually impossible not to stare at the poor chap's 'rug' once he's been outed.</p> <p>We had a regular customer to our shop in IronBridge who's <strong>combover</strong> almost certainly started from his pubic hair....we had to stay in seperate rooms while he was in the shop for fear of 'corpsing' Pete and Dud style </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10735 Tue, 04 May 2010 17:47:54 +0000 sauce 10735@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There ARE comb overs still around, Pucky. One of Mr Sauce's American colleagues has the most amazing, mezmerising comb over. And this is a guy with a top flight science degree and an MBA. </p> <p>I love ponytails, but not on aging wannabe still young chaps. When Mr Sauce was a strapping young hunk of 22 I tried to persuade him to grow his hair but he declined.</p> <p>What's appropriate depends on the setting and the other people. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3739#post-10732 Tue, 04 May 2010 17:36:04 +0000 PluckyMunky 10732@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At least Francis Rossi eventually had his pony-tail cut off, Jeni. </p> <p>I also think that any man who is bald on top should have a number 2 or 3 on the remaining hair. Fortunately, I don't think there are any comb-overs left. </p>