http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 05:35:03 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105182 Thu, 12 Jan 2012 09:49:03 +0000 Newsquelch 105182@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks 'Arry. I live in hope. or fear. or sometimes a mixture of the two. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105149 Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:12:25 +0000 FlashArry 105149@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>***** - magnificence !<br /> Good luck with the side column </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105141 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:28:44 +0000 Newsquelch 105141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well, I shall just have to hope the NB gods are into this kind of thing then! </p> <p>and that, Bonjo, is a fantastic link!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105120 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:15:04 +0000 bonjonelson 105120@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Newsbiscuit has an occasional side column for things like this. </p> <p>For example:</p> <p><a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/10/25/latest-dead-sea-scroll-fragments-just-classified-ads/" rel="nofollow">http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/10/25/latest-dead-sea-scroll-fragments-just-classified-ads/</a></p> <p>So it's entirely possible to make this work on the site </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105114 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:05:41 +0000 The All New Jeni B 105114@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wonderful!<br /> Clearly you have been sharing the same "medicine" as Waylandy.<br /> Bonkers but brilliant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105108 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:02:12 +0000 Newsquelch 105108@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the comments! I reckon this will have to be a self-publish jobbie! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105080 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:36:05 +0000 dvo4fun 105080@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, the crocs and women voting (as if!) got my vote </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105074 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:11:19 +0000 Qoxiivi 105074@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely. Especially agree with the crocs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105073 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:01:30 +0000 Newsquelch 105073@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gladly recieved Immunis, Thanks! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-105039 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 17:14:20 +0000 Immunis 105039@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dusted with brilliance, destined for obscurity, take 5 consolation stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-104991 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:29:43 +0000 Newsquelch 104991@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Bonjo. I think it's probably too long for any of NB's categories though.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-104971 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:50:45 +0000 bonjonelson 104971@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ace </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37295#post-104942 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:54:38 +0000 Newsquelch 104942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In 1910, an British engineer called John Pottersby made a number of predictions about what the world in 2010. How did he do?</p> <p>10 predictions that Pottersby got right...</p> <p>10 - Squeezy Marmite</p> <p>“The people of the future will still be largely sustained by potted extracts, but due to time pressures will probably have these presented in some kind of squeezable dispenser.”</p> <p>9 - Automated Telephone Menus</p> <p>“.... and devices, similar in function to Thomas Edison’s wax cylinder recorders, will dictate almost every facet of everyday life. People will frequently pick up their telephone sets and remotely listen for extended periods to recordings explaining lists of options, occasionally interspersed by snippets of musical entertainment and messages of reassurance that the telephone conversation is of great importance to the recording apparatus.”</p> <p>8 - Jeremy Kyle</p> <p>“As the population of the British Isles swells and conventional methods of law enforcement are stretched beyond breaking, new methods will be devised to keep the citizens in check and to uphold morality. We will find one man who will stand as a national mouthpiece of fatherly wisdom; a judge, jury and occasionally executioner, guiding downtrodden and uncouth wretches towards the light of reason and decency for all to watch.”</p> <p>7 - Transform-A-Snak</p> <p>“If William Morris sought to achieve a perfect synthesis of form and function, surely this must be the apex achievement of his dream; an easily affordable processed maize snack with vaguely spicy/vinegary flavours which can be configured either into small ‘figurines’ or small ‘wheeled vehicles’, provided the packaging has not undergone too much jostling and the contents have not begun to disintegrate. The children of the future will no longer see the distinction between toys and sustenance as this miracle of design entertains them day-on-day.”</p> <p>6 - Susan Boyle</p> <p>“.... and we will see a new elephant man in the next 100 years. However, with modern advances, I am certain they shall make the beast sing for our entertainment. We will no doubt be so horrified by the appearance that the mediocrity of the singing will be almost indistinguishable.”</p> <p>5 - Crocs </p> <p>“While fashion may be one of the most fickle and difficult-to-predict facets of future life, I am certain that women will clad their feet in bizarre and aesthetically unpleasing (yet brightly coloured) rubber clogs, which are deprived of any potential waterproof qualities by the presence of too many large air-holes. Women will also have the right to vote.”</p> <p>4 - Free Newspapers</p> <p>“While a plethora of new medias will be at mankind’s disposal, and newspapers we today know them will still be in existence. In fact they will be enjoying a new golden age by virtue of being free; ruffians will distribute them willy-nilly in the streets while uttering incomprehensible moans, intimidating and blocking the paths of pedestrians who do not wish to read them. These periodicals will frequently be accompanied by pamphlets about salsa dancing classes and guns which shoot paint. “</p> <p>3 - BBC Weather</p> <p>“Our modern age has seen many strides forward in the emerging science of Meteorology and this will continue throughout the new century. Aided by national wireless broadcasting networks, wildly inaccurate data will be dispensed regarding the weather.”</p> <p>2 - The Circle Line</p> <p>“The metropolis of London will still be heavily reliant on its underground railway network; by this time in fact the network will have become extensive enough to serve more than 4,000 stations and nobody of average intelligence will be able to decipher the maps any more, other than pointing out a thick blue wavy line through the middle which is presumably still the Thames. Most mysterious of all however, will be the bizarre Yellow Line, which is never open to the public and so serves no discernable purpose.”</p> <p>1 - James Corden</p> <p>“If the trend continues, I predict that the at the pinnacle of light entertainment in the future will stand a colossus, so fat, whiney and unfunny, that people will gawp in wonderment at how he ever got there, but will be helpless to dislodge him.”</p> <p>...and four he didn’t</p> <p>Pigeon Milk</p> <p>“.. and of course Darwinian mechanics dictates that, by 1980, pigeons will have evolved a third wing and will be invaluable to the dairy industry, owing to their ability to lactate as plentifully as cows.”</p> <p>Commoners in the British Monarchy </p> <p>“.. the Rules of Heredity will have been replaced by a nationally staged talent show, in which contestants are required to impress a panel of three celebrity judges, one of whom is far more critical and condescending than the other two.”</p> <p>Really Great Yarmouth</p> <p>“Great Yarmouth will be the capital of an interplanetary rocket empire and the richest city on Earth, thanks to the diamonds it imports from mines on Venus..”</p> <p>Headache Free Women</p> <p>“...and effective medicine will come to the relief of many a poor woman, who precisely when her husband is feeling vigorously blood-filled is struck down by cranial acheges..” </p>