http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 14:43:05 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-105003 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:44:41 +0000 nickb 105003@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...of the purple, for the purple, by the purple. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104956 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:19:56 +0000 Iscariot 104956@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stars. But...beware the one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104840 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:01:55 +0000 Perks 104840@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104823 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:13:06 +0000 dvo4fun 104823@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>wayland. Congratulations. Mine pales into nuffink by comparison. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104814 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:58:05 +0000 waylandsmithy 104814@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You can be jailed for descriminating against purple people. They open the door and shout 'indigo'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104798 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:13:51 +0000 dvo4fun 104798@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yeah but oranges aren't the only fruit </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104793 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:56:09 +0000 medici2471 104793@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Color Purple may also be seen as positive discrimination? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104792 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:47:01 +0000 seymour totti 104792@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea!</p> <p>On the following part</p> <p><blockquote>‘For starters this would eliminate the need to dye significant members of the population – sunbed users, perfume counter staff and workers at mustard gas factories for example – thus reducing expenditure</blockquote></p> <p>would a mention of David Dickinson or Dale Winton fit in? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104787 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:32:42 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 104787@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104785 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 15:21:51 +0000 beau-jolly 104785@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can't help thinking that we would be left marooned. ahahahahahahah! Marooned! See what I did there, ahahahahahaha </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104778 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:34:49 +0000 dvo4fun 104778@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brave of you to set out on this particular wode </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104752 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:19:37 +0000 button 104752@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mauve soon. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37256#post-104701 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 10:48:21 +0000 jp1885 104701@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>With allegations of racism and reports of racist incidents hitting the headlines at an exponential rate, the government has acted to scotch the rise in discrimination with a sweeping, nationwide initiative. Beginning in the summer of this year, the entire population of the British Isles, regardless of age, gender or ethnicity, will have their skin dyed purple.</p> <p>Making the announcement at a specially convened press conference, David Cameron outlined how standardising the hue of British skin would eliminate all prejudices based on colour. ‘It will be impossible to be a racist if everyone is the same colour purple,’ he said, ‘unless perhaps if you have a particularly strong aversion to Ribena berries.’</p> <p>The Prime Minister revealed how a government think-tank painstakingly searched for colour that was the least offensive to the populace: ‘bleaching everybody white was obviously a non-starter; while staining brown would leave us open to allegations of positive discrimination. Following much deliberation we decided upon purple, after ruling out green as possibly offensive to Martians upon the event of first contact. As you can see, great pains have been taken to future-proof this initiative.’</p> <p>Critics have however blasted the scheme, asserting that purple; traditionally a rather expensive dye to obtain; would stretch Britain’s already threadbare economy. ‘We believe that orange would be a far more cost effective colour to use,’ said one activist. ‘For starters this would eliminate the need to dye significant members of the population – sunbed users, perfume counter staff and workers at mustard gas factories for example – thus reducing expenditure. I for one will refuse to shake the hand of anyone dyed purple – and that’s not being discriminatory: being racist is not what Colour Orange Or Nothing is about.’</p> <p>During the next few weeks, special dying facilities will be set up in municipal boroughs and parish councils throughout the country. ‘Each person will be required to present themselves at their local facility at a prearranged date, where, with their dignity and human rights very much at the forefront of our minds, they will be stripped, plunged into a trough of purple liquid and held down with a pole until the dye has permeated every nook and crevice – a bit like sheep dipping really.’ A high profile public information campaign is due to start this weekend, with public figures such as John Terry, Anton Du Beke and Diane Abbott endorsing the project. </p>