http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 12:06:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-106171 Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:58:49 +0000 Stan Laurel 106171@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And whilst we're bumping subs, this one remains topical. A colleague blurted out the dreaded words only half an hour ago .... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104777 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:28:44 +0000 dvo4fun 104777@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely job Stan have a handful - and I think that b-j's alternate punchline is worth considering </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104757 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:24:51 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 104757@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bonjo - that's just given me an idea for a sub about credit card and loan companies employing Harold Camping (Is that his name?) to advertise their products, on the grounds that you can spend now and never have to pay it back. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104755 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:23:08 +0000 bonjonelson 104755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>grrr </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104754 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:22:32 +0000 bonjonelson 104754@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Remember, only 346 shopping days left until the end of the world. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104751 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:16:26 +0000 button 104751@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Its good, stars and a happy easter to you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104729 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:13:54 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 104729@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ahh, clever. You see, it's little details like that one what I don't think of. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104727 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:11:39 +0000 Stan Laurel 104727@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks chaps. Answers as follows:</p> <p>1. VCG: Written in anticipation of publication later this week.<br /> 2. Beau: Is that how you got the push from your last job?<br /> 3. Tagger: For once I hadn't, but thanks for the reminder. Will rectify now. ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104716 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 11:40:58 +0000 beau-jolly 104716@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Aha! I thought you were going to finish this by the juxtoposition of a punch line about an obviously sackable offence such as "She nearly got me into trouble once by showing people the photocopy I had done of my cock"<br /> What do I know? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104706 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 10:56:50 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 104706@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it.</p> <p>I had somebody wish me a Merry Christmas at the beginning of December once. I don't think I even responded.</p> <p>But, by my reckoning, he's still within his 12 days isn't he? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37251#post-104687 Tue, 10 Jan 2012 09:35:56 +0000 Stan Laurel 104687@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After automatically saying “Happy New Year” to everyone he had spoken to for the first time since 31st December, office worker Jon Knowles thought nothing of greeting his first caller of the day with the same cheery sentiments only to hear a shocked gasp from his colleagues.</p> <p>‘I could sense that something was up immediately,’ said Jon, ‘and when I finished the call, someone explained that the Company had a New Year Greetings Policy in which the cut-off point is set at twelve days. Since I only joined them in August, I didn’t know this, but it didn’t seem to be a big deal.’</p> <p>But things took a turn for the worse when Jon had a call from the 5th Floor. ‘You always get a slight feeling of dread when HR ask ‘if you could spare them a minute’,’ he reflected, ‘but to be told that my actions had contravened company regulations and I was facing disciplinary procedures was a total shock. I had no idea what I was supposed to have done wrong. All possibilities came to mind but I didn’t think that going over the free coffee allowance and consequently breaking the comfort break quota would lead to a suspension.’</p> <p>In a statement for Taylor &amp; Digby, HR Coordinator, Debbie Cooper said. ‘Whilst we are unable to comment on individual cases, our policy was introduced with a good deal of careful consideration to defuse the perennially contentious issue of how long into January it is reasonable to wish people a Happy New Year. Every employee is made aware of this upon joining the Company as it very clearly states in Section IV, Paragraph 15, 6(ix) of the Employment Conditions that New Year’s greetings are permissible only for the first twelve days of the year. This is just below our Whistleblowing Policy which bought the matter to our attention in the first place.’ </p> <p>Meanwhile Mr Knowles, facing a bleak New Year with the prospect of unemployment if the Company appeal procedure fails to reinstate him, is still wondering who got him into this dilemma. ‘I not certain who reported me,’ he said, ‘but I have suspicions that office smug, Jackie Goddard, may have had something to do with it. She nearly got me into trouble once for putting a bottle with a non-recyclable cap into the green bin.’ </p>