http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:41:58 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132#post-104253 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 20:51:47 +0000 Perks 104253@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132#post-104249 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:17:55 +0000 Immunis 104249@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I judge this entry as worth 5 stars, but the competition has been woeful of late, with the obvious exception of the good stuff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132#post-104229 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 17:20:07 +0000 dvo4fun 104229@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Liked it</p> <p>particularly "..and which way he was supposed to be facing."" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132#post-104221 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:30:42 +0000 bonjonelson 104221@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps she would be good enough to someday have a career as a judge in a holiday camp? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132#post-104220 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:26:45 +0000 waylandsmithy 104220@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37132#post-104218 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 16:09:20 +0000 Andrew 104218@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Judges at a competition to find the best singer aged 11-14 at a mid-budget holiday camp in Torquay recently were relieved to announce that the final decision had been "very easy" to reach. The winner, Minnie Henderson, was "the only halfway competent kid" in a bad field of seven "dismal" performers.</p> <p>"It's so strange," said head judge and holiday camp manager Tim Porter, "usually it gets better and better every year. This must be the first time in our eight-year history we haven't had a statistically implausible group of nine or ten inexplicably talented divas. Frankly I find it very strange none of them have ever gone on to successful pop careers. But this year we just got a bunch of ordinary kids who sang as badly as you'd expect a bunch of kids to sing. Most of them can't even carry a tune. I'd even have hated Minnie's performance if she hadn't followed that fat boy who kept forgetting the words and the tune and which way he was supposed to be facing."</p> <p>Despite her poor performance, it was decided that Minnie was still a clear winner, thanks for the most part to the atrocious standards set by her competition.</p> <p>The other judge said simply, "it's contests like this that remind me why I hate working in this stupid sodding place." </p>