http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 03:27:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153629 Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:17:48 +0000 Yikes 153629@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just love this - surprised to find it hadn't been used earlier.</p> <p>'Arctic predators instinctively hate show-offs' is my fav line </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153260 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:30:51 +0000 writinginbsl 153260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153177 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 11:23:42 +0000 Qoxiivi 153177@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The best bit of this is officially 'gobbled on the wobbly tubes'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153107 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 05:56:40 +0000 Squudge 153107@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I gave this 5 before getting to the end of the first para.</p> <p>ADD </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153064 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:28:53 +0000 rikkor 153064@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153063 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 16:09:45 +0000 beau-jolly 153063@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You having a bit of a clearout Wayland? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153053 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 15:13:04 +0000 Bourbon 153053@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>La la la, not listening. This is good, which is why it's worth recycling.</blockquote></p> <p> Great reply (other than saying not listening then answering the criticism thereby proving you were listening )</p> <p>Can I use it in 2015. Feb 4th say </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153052 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 15:08:45 +0000 Oxbridge 153052@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>La la la, not listening. This is good, which is why it's worth recycling. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153050 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:54:33 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 153050@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No wayland, you haven’t got the hang of this. You have to copy and paste it into a new post in the hope that the editor for the week is different to the one who overlooked it last time and doesn’t realise that it’s been posted before.</p> <p>You can’t just go around bumping old subs in the hope that a drop in standards will mean that they’ll be deemed good enough now, that would be pathetic. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-153045 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:45:18 +0000 waylandsmithy 153045@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, the glorious 12th. The day when people traditionally bump old shit that wasn't funny enough to be used in the first place. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103916 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 21:13:10 +0000 Perks 103916@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It did indeed. So a bump back to page 1 for everyone to enjoy again </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103823 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:40:12 +0000 Major Clanger 103823@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gets funnier each time I read it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103778 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:30:23 +0000 Sinnick 103778@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Grotesque &amp; funny. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103776 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:23:23 +0000 kimllfixit 103776@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Another mental one...yay! Shiny stars :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103775 Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:19:07 +0000 button 103775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ho Ho Ho </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103741 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 21:51:56 +0000 Username 103741@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice stuff. ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103724 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 20:49:38 +0000 Perks 103724@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it love it love it. 5 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103708 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:07:04 +0000 dvo4fun 103708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very funny and delightfully wierd. So, not too shabby then. Stars aplenty </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103701 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:01:39 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 103701@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cracking. Love the ending. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103693 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:26:05 +0000 UnoEye 103693@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Absolutely briliant. Without a doubt 5 stars. Only negative is that I'm sat in a quiet office at work and it was quite a struggle to not burst out laughing thoughout. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103682 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:18:55 +0000 Newsquelch 103682@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Give a polar bear a fish and he'll feed his family for one day. Give him a ski-doo and he'll feed them for life. </p> <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=36950#post-103676 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:44:45 +0000 waylandsmithy 103676@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A woman who donated nearly £4 a month to the WWF spoke today of the heart-stopping moment when she was first introduced to her 800-pound polar bear. Jeanette Harper selflessly adopted the animal after seeing images of it floating about on an iceberg to a piece by Mahler, and has continued to make her payments even through the harshest of winters. But Jeanette’s strong motherly instincts pushed her to take their relationship further.</p> <p>Jeanette described her decision to book an Alaskan wildlife holiday, after receiving a series of touching postcards from her bear. "Paul's such a poppet, he always signs off with a paw print and a big kiss, I think he really appreciates what I do for him. That's why I booked this train journey, I had to try and see him even if it was just from the observation car. I just hoped he could take a few minutes break from mauling seal pups."</p> <p>Jeanette took several postcards from Paul to show her fellow travellers, but the reunion still came as a surprise to the passengers of Car 9B. "The train stopped suddenly outside Anchorage, after the driver got confused by all the knobs and levers. That's when I spotted Paul, lumbering towards us across the tundra. I knew it was him straight away: he was big, white and bear-shaped, just like in his photo."</p> <p>Jeanette admitted that Paul appeared bolshy at first. "He was a little bit mad with hunger, even though he still had a flipper stuck in his teeth. After he'd wrenched the door open, he made a beeline for that bloody woman in the seat behind me. He must have heard her going on and on about her daughter’s impending marriage to a top surgeon and how the reception was going to be in her new orangery. Arctic predators instinctively hate show-offs."</p> <p>"I was just about to mutter something unkind about her before Paul came in and ripped her face off. It was uncanny, it was as if there was an invisible connection between us. As he clawed her torso in half and gobbled on the wobbly tubes and stuff, everyone around me was crying with the emotion of it all. They'll never forget the moment we bonded."</p> <p>Jeanette is delighted with the latest addition to her family. “As soon as I saw Paul adrift on the ocean, I knew I had to chip in for a bigger iceberg”, admitted Jeanette. “I’m hoping to eventually introduce him to the dog I adopted in 1983. I’m sure they’ll get on: Patch has very neat writing for a 34 year-old spaniel.”</p> <p>Hat-tip to Vertically Challenged Giant </p>