Forum » Topic: Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound

Forum » Topic: Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 03:00:16 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php GreenCross on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-100277 Sat, 10 Dec 2011 22:50:26 +0000 GreenCross 100277@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I'm not re-writing it again. The biscuit-meisters, however, clearly had no such qualms. Do they often modify stuff that much? Vertically Challenged Giant on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99919 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:41:32 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 99919@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Do you really mean that bonjo? Or are you just trying to see if you can get GreenCross to have to re-write it for a 4th time? bonjonelson on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99915 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:26:21 +0000 bonjonelson 99915@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Not sure the punchline really works - I'd sae the poundland line for last. GreenCross on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99913 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:55:59 +0000 GreenCross 99913@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <center>Re-write to add Poundland joke - credit to Dorset</center> In a surprise joint statement last night, President Nicolas Sarkozy, Chancellor Angela Merkel and Prime Minister David Cameron announced a radical solution to the Eurozone debt crisis – Germany and France will abandon the Euro and join the Pound. With Mrs Merkel on the verge of having to explain to German taxpayers that they face being held jointly and severally liable for the debts of 17 nations, some of which are economically incontinent on a truly epic scale, it became clear that Germany needed to detach itself from the weaker economies of the Eurozone. Mr Cameron remarked: “The logical way out of this crisis is for the stable economies of northern Europe to join together in a united currency, cutting the swarthy and untrustworthy southern Europeans free to drown in their own debt. And why create a new currency when we already have the Pound! So, people of Britain, please join me in welcoming the Germans and the French to our new currency union: Poundland!" What started as an Anglo-German idea expanded to include France after Mr Sarkozy threatened to blockade the Champagne region of France unless his country was also offered a way out of the Euro. While initially thought to be a wily gambit to rein in German separatist ambitions, industry experts have revealed that in 1945 the Bullingdon Club overtook Hermann Goering as the largest European consumer of champagne. Privately, Downing Street sources have hinted that this was the tipping point which forced the Prime Minister to back down over French involvement. Foreign Secretary William Hague revealed more details this afternoon: “From 1st June 2012, Germany and France will leave the European single currency and adopt the Pound for all domestic and foreign use. Regional variations of banknotes will be produced for use in both countries, though production will remain at the Royal Mint in Llantrisant, South Wales.” Rubbing his hands with glee as he joked about getting one over on the Germans, Mr Hague continued: “I’ve come up with a great design for the German fiver. A scene showing Geoff Hurst’s goal in 1966, with sufficient detail for it to be clear that the ball didn’t cross the line!” It is believed that some of the toughest negotiations centred over the designs for the regional notes, with rumours abounding that Mr Cameron has secured a scene from the battle of Agincourt on the back of the French £20 note. Downing Street dismissed as ‘tasteless’ rumours that the French £5 note would depict a monkey waving a white flag with one hand and eating cheese with the other. Justin DeSouza-Smyth, an Analyst at specialist currency traders Margin & Fullpockets Ltd commented: “More insightful minds in the European markets have seen this coming for a number of years now. It’s the only way out for the Germans and the French. What they did with the Euro was a bit like your average middle class person adding a dozen people from the nearest sink estate to their bank account as joint holders.” “Makes you wonder why the Scandinavians and the Swiss never showed an interest in the Euro really.” dvo4fun on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99859 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 09:01:33 +0000 dvo4fun 99859@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ @Dorset - lovely DorsetBoy on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99811 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 02:47:24 +0000 DorsetBoy 99811@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ So would the combined territories of the UK, France and Germany be renamed Poundland ? Just askin'. (Feel free to include if any further edits.) Username on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99752 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:30:31 +0000 Username 99752@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Nice premise. some suggestions: a throwaway quote about the incontinental economic policies that have got us here, and a renaming of the pound as the kilo? GreenCross on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99730 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:17:35 +0000 GreenCross 99730@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Thanks dvo. And credit to you for the Geoff Hurst bit. John Ffitch-Rucker on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99724 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:59:59 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 99724@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Superb. 5* dvo4fun on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99714 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:48:01 +0000 dvo4fun 99714@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Ah - you've put some work in here, Green cross. Love the revised version and new punchline much better. Not sure whether you now need to re-post or leave as-is. More experienced biscuiteers may be able to advise. Sorry already awarded points on this sub GreenCross on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99707 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 17:03:28 +0000 GreenCross 99707@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <center>Ok, re-write:</center> In a surprise joint statement last night, President Nicolas Sarkozy, Chancellor Angela Merkel and Prime Minister David Cameron announced a radical solution to the Eurozone debt crisis – Germany and France will abandon the Euro and join the Pound. With Mrs Merkel on the verge of having to explain to German taxpayers that they face being held jointly and severally liable for the debts of 17 nations, some of which are economically incontinent on a truly epic scale, it became clear that Germany needed to detach itself from the weaker economies of the Eurozone. Mr Cameron remarked: “The logical way out of this crisis is for the stable economies of northern Europe to join together in a united currency, cutting the swarthy and untrustworthy southern Europeans free to drown in their own debt. And why create a new currency when we already have the Pound! So, people of Britain, please join me in welcoming the Germans and the French into the fold.” What started as an Anglo-German idea expanded to include France after Mr Sarkozy threatened to blockade the Champagne region of France unless his country was also offered a way out of the Euro. While initially thought to be a wily gambit to rein in German separatist ambitions, industry experts have revealed that in 1945 the Bullingdon Club overtook Hermann Goering as the largest European consumer of champagne. Privately, Downing Street sources have hinted that this was the tipping point which forced the Prime Minister to back down over French involvement. Foreign Secretary William Hague revealed more details this afternoon: “From 1st June 2012, Germany and France will leave the European single currency and adopt the Pound for all domestic and foreign use. Regional variations of banknotes will be produced for use in both countries, though production will remain at the Royal Mint in Llantrisant, South Wales.” Rubbing his hands with glee as he joked about getting one over on the Germans, Mr Hague continued: “I’ve come up with a great design for the German fiver. A scene showing Geoff Hurst’s goal in 1966, with sufficient detail for it to be clear that the ball didn’t cross the line!” It is believed that some of the toughest negotiations centred over the designs for the regional notes, with rumours abounding that Mr Cameron has secured a scene from the battle of Agincourt on the back of the French £20 note. Downing Street dismissed as ‘tasteless’ rumours that the French £5 note would depict a monkey waving a white flag with one hand and eating cheese with the other. Justin DeSouza-Smyth, an Analyst at specialist currency traders Margin & Fullpockets Ltd commented: “More insightful minds in the European markets have seen this coming for a number of years now. It’s the only way out for the Germans and the French. What they did with the Euro was a bit like your average middle class person adding a dozen people from the nearest sink estate to their bank account as joint holders.” “Makes you wonder why the Scandinavians and the Swiss never showed an interest in the Euro really.” John Ffitch-Rucker on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99668 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:54:35 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 99668@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Perhaps a picture of John Cleese shouting “you started it!” should be on the back of the £5.00 note. Hang on, John Cleese, Jeremy Clarkson - a pattern emerges! dvo4fun on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99664 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:37:33 +0000 dvo4fun 99664@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ OK There's got to be an interesting picture for the German £20 note. What was the name of the railway carriage? ah - according to Mr Google it was "Le Wagon de l'Armistice". Or perhaps one of the 1966 football World Cup final, proving conclusively that Geoff Hurst's second goal did NOT cross the line. Might be worth re-jigging a tad so as to have some of the text as "quotations" to add a bit of variety Is it worth mentioning that the creation of a joint account lacked an elementary security provision - that of requiring a second signature by the original account holder? Right - time for lunch Sinnick on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99660 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:31:46 +0000 Sinnick 99660@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Great idea, well written, but agree it could be slightly sharper. Not sure about the current punchline. I'm sure Ireland would want to join in, too ... GreenCross on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99658 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:20:46 +0000 GreenCross 99658@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Cheers guys. I think it might need a bit of work though, feel free to suggest any edits. Ostsee on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99628 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 11:20:04 +0000 Ostsee 99628@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ They might just rename it the Deutschpfund. Perks on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99624 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 11:04:10 +0000 Perks 99624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ nice piece. great concept well executed dvo4fun on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99620 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 10:57:58 +0000 dvo4fun 99620@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Yep. Love the joint bank account line GreenCross on "Eurozone crisis solved – Germany and France to join Pound" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35314#post-99612 Wed, 07 Dec 2011 10:48:46 +0000 GreenCross 99612@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ In a surprise joint statement last night, President Nicolas Sarkozy, Chancellor Angela Merkel and Prime Minister David Cameron announced a radical solution to the Eurozone debt crisis. With Mrs Merkel on the verge of having to explain to German taxpayers that they face being held jointly and severally liable for the debts of 17 nations, some of which are economically incontinent on a truly epic scale, it became clear that Germany needed to detach itself from the weaker economies of the Eurozone. Mr Sarkozy became aware of the Anglo-German discussions when he was awoken by the sound of giggling and footsteps in the corridors of a Brussels hotel. He used an ingenious solution of his own to ensure French involvement in the plan, threatening to blockade the Champagne region of France unless his demands were met. Unofficial Downing Street sources have hinted that Mr Cameron capitulated on this point due to worries about the effect this could have on future meetings of the Bullingdon Club. From 1st June 2012, Germany and France will leave the European single currency and adopt the Pound for all domestic and foreign use. Regional variations of banknotes will be produced for use in both countries, though production will remain at the Royal Mint in Llantrisant, South Wales. It is believed some of the toughest negotiations centred over the designs for the regional notes, with rumours abounding that Mr Cameron has secured a scene from the battle of Agincourt on the back of the French £20 note. Justin DeSouza-Smyth, an Analyst at specialist currency traders Margin & Fullpockets Ltd commented: “More insightful minds in the European markets have seen this coming for a number of years now. It’s the only way out for the Germans and the French. What they did with the Euro was a bit like your average middle class person asking a dozen people from the nearest sink estate if they’d like to be added to your bank account as a joint holder.” Meanwhile, Spain has announced that it intends to revert to pieces-of-eight.