http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:00:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-12910 Mon, 17 May 2010 11:41:03 +0000 editor 12910@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This will make the front page eventually - it's just there's a been a glut of great topical stories and also the volcanic ash cloud has prevented it from landing... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-11018 Wed, 05 May 2010 21:40:14 +0000 Dumbnews 11018@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How is this one:</p> <p> Mountain View (CA) - Google has released i-Bias, a search tool that let users find information only they want to hear.<br /> Megan Khoury, VP of Marketing, said, " Our analysis of search data found that most people only search for what they<br /> want to be true. i-Bias is our response to users need to live a self-fulfilling prophecy. "</p> <p>Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, added, " With a single mouse click you can confirm your preconceived opinions are shared by hundreds of other websites ". i-Bias will effectively censor alternative views and second opinions.</p> <p>One of the beta testers, Sarah Palin, had a chance to use the program yesterday on her suspicion Obama was a Muslim terrorist. She found her opinion to be perfectly corroborated by dozens of high traffic websites.</p> <p>"Designed for the busy opinionate who hasn't got time to think about things, i-Bias will make sure that your preconceptions are never challenged," runs the press release. Through deployment of algorithms, Google works out the source of your fears, and matches them with the appropriate comforting version of events. The blogosphere and online forums will be heuristically searched for credible sources of Anonymous postings.</p> <p>i-Bias will also include an "I blame the" drop down menu of nations, ethnic types, political parties and celebrities. For example, a user can enter "I blame the" United States for 9/11. Instantly numerous credible websites will appear substantiating your suspicions.</p> <p>Not to be outdone, Internet giant, Facebook announced an application for how to live your life based on how odd you are relative to your friends. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10377 Sun, 02 May 2010 04:55:39 +0000 Zadok the second 10377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Your search for <em>Ed Balls - good idea</em> returned no results. Did you mean to search for <em>Bloody Labour</em>? </p> <p>* * * </p> <p>Jeremy Clarkson recently admitted that since discovering that the world actually is run by pinko cloth-eared jobsworths who have it in for ordinary people's rights to drive at whatever the hell speed they feel like, he has nothing left to live for. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10233 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 19:22:55 +0000 Dumbnews 10233@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Today I had an urge for eating some movie style popcorn which I know is high in coconut oil. So I went to google and put in "coconut oil healthy" and found several sources extolling the virtues of coconut oil. So that eased my conscience and I bought a large bag for my afternoon snack. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10202 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:14:41 +0000 ronseal 10202@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The application name could be "The Daily Grail" because it searches the internet to find a safe home for your opinions, where all your suspicions can be confirmed</p> <p>It uses advanced artificial intelligence, that analyses your profile (kept on a database gathered from all those Daily Mail free offers and unwinnable competitions you kept writing in for)</p> <p>the system is powered by a proprietary Hearsay engine, Littlejohn 2.0, which assesses your enquiry and, with clever deployment of algorithms, works out the sourcwe of your fears, and matches them with the appropriate comforting version of events</p> <p>But the system is a long way from perfect, as even the developer, Paul Harmsworth, admitted. The Guildford Incident, in which an accountant was matched with the opinions of Islington based protest group Radical Trannies for Al Qaeda, which argued the benefits of mass immigration, caused the first known incident of spontaneous human combustion. </p> <p>"we don't always get it right." admitted Dacre, but he promised that auto hearsay confirmation willbe available in every home, at the twitch of a finger. (at the rustle of a net curtain) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10190 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:44:03 +0000 ronseal 10190@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You coudn't mash it up!</p> <p>((as I say in my weekly column) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10185 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:15:07 +0000 Dumbnews 10185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Google announces plans to let users search by answers to find websites that match only what they want to hear. Never before has it been easier to live a self-fulfilling prophecy. With a single mouse click you can confirm your preconceived opinions are shared by hundreds of other websites. </p> <p>Conspiracy theorist will relish the new Google search by answer. No matter how insane your idea, there will be websites supporting your beliefs. Think the US blew up their own World Trade Center? Well so do 57 other websites, according to Google!</p> <p>Another application would be someone searching for how to fix their car after an accident. Instead of searching for how to replace a car fender, just search for 'fix fender by pulling dent out". Google will then find websites that illustrate in detail how to fix your car cheaply with the solution you proposed.</p> <p>Self medical diagnosis is another powerful application. Next time you are feeling deathly sick just enter what you think you have, i.e a mild flu. Google will then show websites with plenty of information about the flu from which you can pick out the symptoms you share. </p> <p>Google searches entire blogs and forums to find reputable posts by Anonymous, that matches what you want to hear. Racist, cheap, narrow-minded, etc. It all makes no difference. Rest assured there are like-minded folks out there and Google now helps you connect with their ideas. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10177 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:49:37 +0000 Oxbridge 10177@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Google ThoughtAsMuch will include a 'I blame the' bar, which features drop down menu of ethnic types, liberal 'establishment' figures and celebrities. These can then be matched randomly or by software-assisted plausibility ratings with anyone of 78 problems that you can select as being sadly typocal. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10174 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:37:14 +0000 editor 10174@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Keep going everyone - this has the smack of a collaborative front page about it - so chuck in a few more thoughts and someone give it a beginning, middle and of course brilliant punchline... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10169 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:04:32 +0000 Dumbnews 10169@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>One of the beta testers, a Mr G Brown of Westminster had a chance to test the programme yesterday on an old-age pensioner and found that his opinion that she was a worthless bigoted loonie to be perfectly justified.</blockquote></p> <p>Good one, can add: Google confirmed this through dozens of blog and forum postings . </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10141 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 10:52:33 +0000 curry muncher 10141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Users can select from a broad range of prejudices either individually, or by choosing one of a short list of character attribute types. Selecting “Daily Mail reader” automatically ticks all the boxes. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10130 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 10:23:43 +0000 Zadok the second 10130@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Internet giant Google has teamed up with the Daily Mail to develop a unique version of the onlne search engine which will confirm the enquirer's prejudices.</p> <p>Google-ThoughtAsMuch will effectively censor alternative views and second opinions.</p> <p>"Designed for the busy opinionate who hasn't got time to think about things, Google-ThoughtAsMuch will make sure that your preconceptions are never challenged," runs the press release.</p> <p>One of the beta testers, a Mr G Brown of Westminster had a chance to test the programme yesterday on an old-age pensioner and found that his opinion that she was a worthless bigoted loonie to be perfectly justified.</p> <p>One of the most useful applications of the programme is in the field of medical self-diagnosis; Google ThoughtAsMuch has recently concluded that the country is in the grip of a man-flu epidemic. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10121 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 09:10:59 +0000 editor 10121@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is a smart and funny idea - somebody should write this up as a story! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10093 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:33:15 +0000 Ostsee 10093@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Facebook now shows you how to lead you lives. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3489#post-10040 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:39:56 +0000 Dumbnews 10040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Here is what I am trying to say, not sure if these are clearer:</p> <p><strong>Google now searches by answer to find websites that match what you want to hear</strong></p> <p><strong>Google now lets you type in your answer to find websites that match your preconceived opinion</strong> </p>