http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:39:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782#post-98443 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:10:51 +0000 Griffin 98443@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>GreenCross, I am glad to have inspired an excellent ending! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782#post-98341 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:09:26 +0000 GreenCross 98341@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's a good chance that's true, reforse.</p> <p>Freddie Laker famously said something along the lines of the only way to make a small fortune in aviation being to start with a large fortune. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782#post-98339 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 16:05:59 +0000 dvo4fun 98339@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"I wonder, do you suppose that Branson still has that balloon?" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782#post-98326 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:16:32 +0000 reforse 98326@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you add the profits and losses of all commercial airlines since the business began it would be in the red. Well I read it somewhere, might be a myth. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782#post-98321 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:47:46 +0000 Griffin 98321@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There is a long history of the world not ending when an airline goes bankrupt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=34782#post-98316 Tue, 29 Nov 2011 14:10:27 +0000 GreenCross 98316@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Top executives at troubled US carrier American Airlines yesterday finally understood the concept of multiplication, and immediately filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.</p> <p>In a high-level meeting, Chairman and CEO Gerard Arpey walked up to the flip chart and said "Hang on, let me think outside the box for a moment." He then proceeded to fire off two questions: the first; "How much is our average return fare?" brought an answer of "about $200 boss" from the Chief Financial Officer and the second; "How many people do you get on a 737?" yielded "162 in a two-class configuration" from the Head of Operations.</p> <p>The room then collectively gasped as Arpey proceeded to write <strong>$200 x 162 = $32,400</strong> in large letters with a magic marker. He turned to the stunned audience and asked how much jet fuel you got for $32,400, and then some other questions about how much aircraft cost to maintain, pilot's salaries, airport landing fees, office rental, etc.</p> <p><center><em>This needs an ending and a punchline - I can't think of one, anyone want to contribute?</em></center></p> <p><em>Ending inspired by Griffin</em></p> <p>Speaking to BBC Radio 4's <em>Money Box</em> programme, Jay Krissmeyer, a Wall Street Analyst, commented "There is a long history of the world not ending when an airline goes bankrupt. However, in America bankruptcy is different. Chapter 11 gives the good folks in charge a grace period during which they can continue to take customers' money and run up even bigger debts with suppliers, not to mention negotiate a pleasant severance package and walk out the door 24hrs before the planes finally stop flying. I understand in Europe bankruptcy is a bad thing. How quaint!" </p>