http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=340 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 09:45:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=340#post-1066 Tue, 02 Mar 2010 13:56:28 +0000 sauce 1066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have some points. It's no more barking as a proposition than the poll tax. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=340#post-1047 Tue, 02 Mar 2010 11:41:52 +0000 Scroat 1047@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It will now be called the KU.</p> <p>Pronounced queue, or 'k you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=340#post-1006 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:13:03 +0000 Ladyjam 1006@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>David Cameron has unveiled his boldest initiative yet since becoming leader of the Conservative Party. In what many are saying is a ‘make or break’ decision for election glory, Cameron promised to quite literally ‘turn the UK around’.<br /> “I love this Britain, but we’re in a mess. What we need is someone who is prepared to grab this country by the balls and quite literally turn it around.” He said. “When you look at a map of Great Britain, the Isle of Wight is a little island that sort of ‘hangs’ off the bottom of England, so it’s the UK’s ‘balls’; geographically speaking. We’re going to use machines to grab Britain’s ‘balls’ and swing her around. This way, people who are in the North and unable to find work will not only get to the South for jobs, but they’ll actually be the South! We’re very excited.” When asked where he got the idea Cameron replied “When all that ‘class war’ business flared up I thought it would be good to let the Northerners have a go at being Southern. We'll soon see if they do a better job than the current Southerners are doing; but either way, it's likely the North/South divide will be severely blurred, if not smudged out of recognition all together".<br /> Cameron further promised that all works contracts would be awarded to British companies. “That’s right. We’ll need some ships, and lots of cranes too. I’d like to see some of those really high ones with cabins at the top getting involved. Britain is not as small as you think it is when you’re planning to move it. I won’t lie to you; it’s a logistical nightmare, and our main concern is that thin bit where Scotland and England join. I’d hate for Scotland to fall off, but we’re going to take action against that happening by employing big Shire horses to pull Scotland tight against England during the big ‘turn’. I love Shire horses, they’re so big, yet so gentle. A bit like America really.”<br /> Officials within Downing Street have down played the threat posed by Cameron’s audacious scheme, however a leaked memo suggests that Brown got quite shirty when he heard the news and even kicked over some bins. </p>