http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3360 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 17:12:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3360#post-9663 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:13:20 +0000 ronseal 9663@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Last year Foo Foo the Poodle had it all. The world was at his four feet. But last week, as his home was repossessed and the owner fled the country Foo Foo’s fate became altogether different.<br /> On Thursday the authorities decided, more in sorrow than anger, they had no other choice but to put Foo Foo behind bars. He’s likely to be sent to what local residents in Battersea have dubbed The Dogs Home. But let’s not be misled by the name. “Make no mistake, this is a prison,” said one visitor who’d recently been there. “It’s where dogs do their bang. They’ll be shut away for 23 hours a day, with an hour on a lead in the exercise park, if they’re lucky.”<br /> In Battersea, Foo Foo will have to get used to an altogether different regime. Gone are the luxurious carpets – when Foo Foo wants to drag his bottom across the floor, he’ll be leaving skid marks on cold stone. Doggy Baskets are unheard of in Battersea, with most of the inmates used to curling up on a bench. Foo Foo’s cell won’t have a view of the lawn or the garden gate. More likely he’ll be assigned a cell with a view of a railway line that leads to an old disused power station.<br /> But Foo Foo won’t get much choice over his living conditions. ‘As a pedigree show dog, in a pen full of bull breeds and rottweilers, Foo Foo’s gonna be lucky if he comes out of Battersea with an arse the size of a watermelon,’ said one Mastiff, whose owner immediately gave him a bowl of water and a worming tablet. Dogs can be difficult to understand when they spend all day in each other’s company, and their thinking and accents are said to become institutionalised.<br /> Under Rule 43, Foo Foo is likely to be sectioned off from the other dogs, and may even face the indignity of going on the second floor, known as The Cattery.<br /> Under certain conditions, dog can be let out for a short time. If they become neutered, for example, the management allow the dogs to be fostered out to a family, to give them a less stressful environment in which to recover. But once recovery has been effected, the poor poodle will be returned back to The Dogs Home, and the uncertain prospect of placement in a new wing.<br /> Being neutered is a high price to pay for a few days out, but many dogs are happy to do it. Because the longer they stay in Battersea, the more likely they are to become institutionalised in what some say is a ‘university of crime’. A new counter culture springs up, in which bones are currency.<br /> “A Staffordshire bull terrier might come in here as a stray, but by the time he leaves, he’ll have learned all the tricks and graduated to a higher league,” said John McVicar, “next time you see him, he’ll have form for sniffing bottoms, shagging legs and biting postmen.” </p>