http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 23:21:49 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93095 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:40:03 +0000 Danny 93095@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93080 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:11:51 +0000 arthurminnit 93080@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>as a professional footballer i feel that i must defend myself here.<br /> i am a proper racist, as are most of my fellow professionals.<br /> indeed, most of us actually OWN racist horses, and spend loads of money betting on them as well!<br /> you fucking intellectuals make me sick with your blanket generalisations! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93078 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:06:31 +0000 arthurminnit 93078@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>laugh out loud stuff, good one </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93068 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:30:06 +0000 Midfield Diamond 93068@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. I started trying to write something about Terry's agent claiming that John Terry saw Balotelli become the face of the Follow The Firework Code campaign after his little bathroom fire episode and, by the same logic, thought that being racist was the best way to get involved in the FA's Kick It Out campaign.</p> <p>But yours is far more accurate and funnier. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93019 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:18:04 +0000 vertical 93019@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>anything that shows up overpaid primadonna neanderthals for what they are is a worthy cause xx Roberto Mancini </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93017 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:51:38 +0000 nickb 93017@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I play futball, and am not thik </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93009 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:01:37 +0000 CJWorkman 93009@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Back of the net! Five stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93002 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:26:28 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 93002@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good, but unfair on Neanderthals.<br /> p.s. how’s life outside the Army treating you? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-93000 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 09:23:15 +0000 Tim Collins 93000@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks guys! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-92979 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:58:24 +0000 Perks 92979@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good, especially liked the paragraph about john terrys idea of banter 5stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-92970 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:51:36 +0000 writinginbsl 92970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny</p> <p>stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-92968 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:50:05 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 92968@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Welcome aboard Tim.</p> <p>Cracking stuff, last 3 paras in particular had me chuckling. Keep them coming. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-92962 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:43:50 +0000 dvo4fun 92962@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for that. On a rainy morning I like to make a late start to the day. A good laugh, before getting down to business, was just what the doctor etc.</p> <p>Lovely punch line </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32669#post-92956 Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:25:07 +0000 Tim Collins 92956@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Premier league footballers are to be exonerated for their verbal controversies following the revelation that they are too inherently stupid to understand the literary connotations of what makes a given combination of words racist, a new study has found. </p> <p>According to scientists at the University of Croydon’s neanderthal equality in sports division, recent claims that English footballers are more racist than Prince Phillip at the Cannes Film Festival should be disregarded after research revealed that players aren’t capable of understanding even the most basic racial subtexts associated with everyday language. </p> <p> “The truth is that the majority of players aren’t able to do much more than kick a spherical piece of leather into a net, bottle a nightclub owner or commit adultery with a page three model,” said Ian Slangswot, head of the department.</p> <p>According to the research, heart-in-mouth England captain John Terry can’t help the fact he calls fellow professionals “f*”king b*&amp;ck c$%ts” or puts his genitals inside your girlfriend because he isn’t aware that his actions are interpreted as anything other than “banter”. </p> <p>“Our research suggests that the average footballers’ gene makeup consists of a higher percentage of Neanderthal DNA than is found in an average human being. It’s around 30% compared to around 2% for most people. Which is why players like Wayne Rooney are such fine athletes yet have an IQ on par with a mentally retarded otter,” said Jenny Thaggart, head of DNA development. </p> <p>“In fact, we gave Rooney a test in which he had to categorise certain words depending on whether he thought they were ‘racially loaded’ or ‘socially acceptable’, but we came back half an hour later to find he’d eaten the test and smeared the word ‘ball’ across the exam hall using his own poo.”</p> <p>“What was perhaps most shocking was that it was actually an online examination – there were even bits of intel core processor around his mouth... he’d also spelt the word ball wrong,” Thaggart added. </p>