http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:08:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9433 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:43:32 +0000 The All New Jeni B 9433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>No, no, no. You need a Scottish Deer Hound for that, so named because the feed bills are extortionate if you don't have any handy serfs to throw to it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9429 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:39:16 +0000 edward hack 9429@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It sounds highly probable but I think <strong>Mr.Scroat</strong> is the best man to ask about this (I mean about Fairport - not the 'maiden virgins in the borders' thing....I think you might need a bloodhound for that) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9414 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:57:55 +0000 Sigmund Freud 9414@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mr Hack, wasn't Tamsulosin a folk hero from the borders that used to steal the virginity of maidens? I seem to remember Fairport Convention singing a version of the tale on Liege and Lief. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9405 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:09:23 +0000 edward hack 9405@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ED209...Tried to beat your 20 seconds with a right handshake...but no, got nowhere near.<br /> Well done mate. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9402 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:56:48 +0000 Doctor TIP 9402@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>AT LAST!!!! A Blogsphere in which one can believe!!!! No more National Enquirer for me! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9400 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:55:09 +0000 Doctor TIP 9400@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ED 209. Re Small Grey articles. You need to clean the chimney, I get that problem with a Southwesterly wind or whenever the Raccoons do a flue raid on the shack.<br /> TIP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9390 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:15:55 +0000 edward hack 9390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mad<br /> I thinks that's a man-thing, most girls insist it IS the length as well as what you did with it (at least all the ones I have ever known - but I am from Shropshire).<br /> However, if any of you guys are having a problem in 'that department' I can recommend the prostrate medication advertised on the top of these pages some days. Tamsulosin - It can have viagra style side effects, which sounds great....until it decides to start working while you are queuing for a book of stamps with all the old dears on pension day.<br /> I was prescribed it (neat)a couple of years ago and it gradually built up in my system. Eventually I had to drop it all together or find myself up before the beak.<br /> I now take Saw Palmeto - not as much fun, but much safer.<br /> You have been advised/warned. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9351 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 09:53:17 +0000 MADJEZ 9351@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ed it's quite normal for most blokes to think theirs are a little too short.<br /> If you check your spam filter you've probably got a lot of mail from helpful companies selling creams and devices to help you stretch it out.</p> <p>Remember it's not the length it's what you do with it and all the better if you've got a funny one that people can laugh at ! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9342 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 09:17:33 +0000 edward hack 9342@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Mary, that is very kind.<br /> Just wish my own writing skills were better than wot they are.<br /> Things work in my head fine, but when they hit the page things deteriorate.<br /> Maybe a bit too crude at times, maybe a bit gobby too, maybe a bit 1960/70's.<br /> Things tend to make the FP on the strength of the writing as much as the humour, which tends to sort the wheat from the chavs.<br /> Getting the structure of a sentence or paragraph to work is an art in itself, which the best writers on here seem to do effortlessly.<br /> There is much to admire here on NB.<br /> Certainly helps make my day go with a smile.<br /> So thanks, one and all - keep it coming.</p> <p>ps...will a cheque be OK this time </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9332 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 08:34:58 +0000 Mary Evans 9332@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ed, for what it is worth, I was editing the NiBs a couple of weeks ago and published several of your subs because I thought they were super dooper. Probably didn't stop me from plodding my size nines all over them, but that's my own little power trip. I think you have some brilliant ideas, keep at it and I'm sure you'll get that orgasmic FP moment before long.</p> <p>And as for being seasoned, MightyBlair, it's only a smattering of paprika, but it seems to help. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9331 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 08:30:54 +0000 MightyBlair 9331@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have you been shitting through letter boxes again, Auntie? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9327 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:23:01 +0000 MrChigleysAunt 9327@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I prefer to believe that I have transgressed the unwritten rule or inadvertently deeply insulted the editor. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9318 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 05:33:36 +0000 edward hack 9318@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agree...it's in the writing as much as the content.<br /> You can spoil a great idea with crappy writing...on the other hand, make a cows purse out of a silk ear with some fine writing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9314 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:35:49 +0000 MightyBlair 9314@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've read lots of your subs and they've been funny. Lots of people post very funny things on here and don't get the FPs. The FPs I can think of seem to have a cracking original idea, a high volume of jokes and are fluidly written. I think it's tough to get it just right.And the likes of Genghis, Ludicity and Mary Evans are seasoned so it's practice. But, in the spirit of a showbiz put-down, stop being a bitch and write something funny:) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3244#post-9312 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:20:52 +0000 ED209 9312@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>i get loads of 'small grey' articles on the front page, but never ever headliners. Why is this? I don't think that all my articles are 'funny but not that funny'. Are they just a bit too short? Or do I not have the right handshake?</p> <p>You have 20 seconds to comply<br /> ED-209 </p>