Forum » Topic: A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’

Forum » Topic: A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’ http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 12:38:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php Qoxiivi on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91755 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:13:27 +0000 Qoxiivi 91755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Possible re-working: Make-do mercenaries, the A-Team, have once again gone underground following their calamitous appearance on a special edition of the BBC’s dinner-from-a-bag show Ready Steady Cook. ‘On paper, it seemed like a great idea.’ lamented Linda Clifford, the show’s executive producer. ‘I knew they were big in the States and they came highly recommended by the makers of Scrapheap Challenge.’ she added. It wasn’t long, however, before the show, that Linda had hoped would be a light-hearted celebrity special, soon descended into chaos. ‘I could see right from the off that Ainsley didn’t feel comfortable around that ‘Mr T’ fellow, and from his reaction to Ainsley’s nervous ‘Ooh, you’re a big boy aren’t you?’ remark, the feeling appeared to be mutual.’ She also said that, while the ‘red tomatoes’, comprising Hannibal and Mr T, seemed prepared to adhere to the show’s rules, the ‘green peppers’ showed no such willing. ‘Despite being the more aggressive couple, the red tomatoes had at least come prepared with a rich assortment of comestibles; in contrast to the other two who’d brought along an enriched assortment of combustibles.’ ‘I know Antony Worrall Thompson can work wonders in the kitchen, but all in all, Face and Murdoch’s 'ingredients' seemed less suited to supper and more suited to armour-plating a transit van, which, after throwing Antony through the set, is exactly what they then set about doing.’ ‘To be fair to them though,’ she continued, ‘both teams were adamant they’d spent less than a fiver.’ Things deteriorated further when, at the end of the show, the audience vote seemed to judge both recipes as equal. ‘No one can deny it was close.’ admitted Linda. ‘Yes, the welding on the green peppers’ gun-turret was substandard, but then, the red tomatoes had only themselves to blame when Mr T chose the wrong flour for their Quiche Lorraine after insisting ‘I ain’t using no plain, sucker’.’ ‘Still, that’s no justification for unloading machine-gun salvos into the crowd. Sure, they might not have hit anyone, but seriously, those guys should be in some kind of maximum security stockade.’ Despite the carnage, Linda revealed that the show wasn’t entirely without its highlights. ‘Hannibal’s dessert was to die for; I'd love to know how he got it so perfect. I did manage to ask him as they drove off through the studio wall, but the only bit I caught from his response was ‘I love it when a flan comes together’.’ Qoxiivi on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91720 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:24:22 +0000 Qoxiivi 91720@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Am thinking this might be better as I'd originally conceived it (but abandoned due to time constraints); namely the A-Team splitting in two. One half (Face and Hannibal?) armour plates a van or whatever while the other team makes a prawn and mixed-vegetable risotto and flan dessert. The audience then has to decide who’s won. Ironduke on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91715 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 09:57:22 +0000 Ironduke 91715@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I like it very much indeed..seems its such a fantastic idea (the play on all three shows making something out of nothing) with such potential its then just a matter of selecting the very best lines and plot directions and could conceivably be a short play, never mind a brief sub! As to the 'plane', a request for flour met with 'Use self-raisin, 'cos I ain't getting no plain' might suffice. I think when you hit comedy gold, you often get people inspired and wanting to chip a twopennorth in. Qoxiivi on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91710 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 09:28:54 +0000 Qoxiivi 91710@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Screenie: I did think about having Mr T insisting on using some incorrect type of flour as he ‘ain’t using no plain, sucker’ but a) that didn’t feel right as it’s ‘ain’t getting on no plane’ and I couldn’t find a way to make that work to my satisfaction and b) I ended up having them not using food at all and just building shit in the studio. This approach also relegated the ‘love it when a flan comes together’ from Hannibal at the end to the guy from Scrapheap Challenge. In fact, there were a number of ways I could have done this but, in the end, I just chose this one. Possibly as, when I decided upon it as a direction, it just fell together more easily; and I’m stupidly busy at work at the moment. Cheers for the comments. button on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91702 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 09:08:12 +0000 button 91702@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ That has really cheered me up ***** No mention of Colonel Decker? Screenie on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91657 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:24:03 +0000 Screenie 91657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Hang on, that's wrong ain't it? I've crossed my Mr T phrases there. 'I ain't getting on no plane' and 'don't touch my van' Foolish indeed. Screenie on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91655 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:18:14 +0000 Screenie 91655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I think 'I ain't making no flan' from Mr T would have been nice, but would of course have clashed with your finale. Stars. beau-jolly on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91551 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:13:43 +0000 beau-jolly 91551@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Love the idea of real junk mail and the final line made me lose my coffee. Starrage, fool! Qoxiivi on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91548 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:01:40 +0000 Qoxiivi 91548@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Pretty much finished this and then found out that Ready Steady Cook was cancelled about a year ago. Don't know whether that matters or not though as no one I've spoken to realised. Or cared what I was talking about to be honest. Vertically Challenged Giant on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91543 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:54:16 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 91543@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Like it. Some wayland-esque puns in here, especially the punchline. Part way through I was convinced that they were going to have brought in a bag of vegetables and then demand that the chef make an armoured car out of them, demonstrating how when Ainslie failed. Qoxiivi on "A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32239#post-91521 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:03:11 +0000 Qoxiivi 91521@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Make-do mercenaries, the A-Team, have once again gone underground following their calamitous appearance on a special edition of the BBC’s dinner-from-a-bag show Ready Steady Cook. ‘On paper, it seemed like a great idea.’ lamented Linda Clifford, the show’s executive producer. ‘I knew they were big in the States and they came highly recommended by the makers of Scrapheap Challenge.’ she added. ‘I should have known something was up there and then really, as our two shows have never got on. They’re always sending us dirty exhausts and such in the post, you know; junk mail. ‘But we couldn’t turn down a potential scoop like this, so we went with it.’ It wasn’t long, however, before the initial suspicions, that Linda had ignored, were proved correct as what she’d hoped would be a light-hearted celebrity special, soon descended into chaos. ‘I could see right from the off that Ainsley didn’t feel comfortable around that Mr T, and from his reaction to Ainsley’s nervous ‘Ooh, you’re a big boy aren’t you?’ remark, the feeling appeared to be mutual.’ said Linda. She also says the ‘team’ clearly had no intentions of adhering to the show’s rules. ‘I know Antony Worrall Thompson can work wonders in the kitchen, but the 'ingredients' they’d brought seemed more suited to armour-plating a transit van, which, after throwing Antony through the set, is exactly what they then set about doing.’ ‘To be fair to them though,’ she continued, ‘they were adamant it’d all cost less than a fiver.’ Ploughing on with the show regardless, the worst was yet to come. ‘We tried to make the best of it and got the audience involved to judge their efforts, but Mr T and Murdoch (the green peppers) saw red when their contraption lost and started unloading machine-gun rounds into the crowd.’ ‘I can't believe they didn't hit anyone. Seriously, they should be in some kind of maximum security stockade.’ Responding to accusations that they had indeed ‘set up’ Ready Steady Cook, Scrapheap Challenge’s own executive producer claimed he knows nothing of the two shows' supposed rivalry. ‘They’re making a meal out of it, as usual. Besides, I don’t know what they’re talking about, everyone here loves the show. It’s so impressive the stuff they can conjure up with just some eggs and a bit of milk. We all love it when a flan comes together.’