http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 20:51:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023&page=2#post-90983 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:41:28 +0000 Ironduke 90983@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You're asking for a punch, twitchy Ffitchy. Harness that enthusiasm and halt eruptions of bitterness.<br /> 5 again. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023&page=2#post-90982 Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:03:50 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 90982@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hey, man, you’re really running away a bit with these horse puns, Suffolk off. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90952 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 22:03:54 +0000 Ironduke 90952@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We're just jockeying for position; your melancolic drivel shows scant erudition I'm afraid, and you can't wriggle out of it. By the way, that dress ages you terribly.</p> <p>5 for you, m'dear. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90951 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:49:02 +0000 The All New Jeni B 90951@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't saddle me with any more grief.<br /> You seem to have got to the bit where you expect me to jump. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90950 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:45:32 +0000 Ironduke 90950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You don't half nag Jeni, but you;ll come a crupper soon enough </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90948 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:17:53 +0000 The All New Jeni B 90948@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hay, that's the last straw!!</p> <p>In the mane, I think I've reached the end of this tail, I'm a little horse now, and its time I went to fetlock the doors. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90946 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:10:29 +0000 Ironduke 90946@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And I thought you were a pal o' mine, O what went wrong, Jeni? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90943 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:51:21 +0000 The All New Jeni B 90943@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thought I'd stirrup things, it was getting all too stable. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90942 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 20:35:47 +0000 Ironduke 90942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I bridle at your horseplay, Jeni. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90939 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:49:34 +0000 The All New Jeni B 90939@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You know what they say Id - Ketamine, just say neigh. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90938 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:46:21 +0000 Ironduke 90938@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32066#post-90935" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32066#post-90935</a></p> <p>now where did I leave the tranquilizer bottle? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90931 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:28:22 +0000 Ironduke 90931@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you.</p> <p>a) I shall get to work</p> <p>b) not while there's still some horse tranquilizer left in the bottle </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90928 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:07:29 +0000 dvo4fun 90928@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmm. Ironduke</p> <p>a) you should work that up into a sub</p> <p>b) you want some of my Largactil? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90912 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:12:59 +0000 Ironduke 90912@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only with Chianti Beau.</p> <p>I wonder if that could be re-worked into a sub? I'd so love to see the illustration... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90903 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 10:55:16 +0000 beau-jolly 90903@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Duke; Do you ever eat Fava beans? Just a thought. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90900 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 10:42:56 +0000 Ironduke 90900@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've got it...drawing inspiration from decimation, Spartacus, the popularity of X-factor / big brother and the much lamented demise of the medieval public pillorying/stoning/hangings...lets agree that all MPs deserve to be executed. Starting with a clear, common sense principle like that should establish widespread common ground.</p> <p>Lets also agree that MPs owe us a hell of a lot of money, either through their personal swindling or the consequences of their mismanagement of the national economy. Again, I expect few quibbles there.</p> <p>Now, it merely remains to negotiate a TV deal, and invent 650 progressively more horrible ways to be put to death- which they will then have to compete to get through in reverse order.</p> <p>Then, (and this is the cunning bit), we wait for them to repeal the HUman Rights legislation, and just as it goes through and is passed into statute...we do the Big Reveal. We put the MPs in a bear pit, we list the ways of their death, and make them fight (or debate, if you prefer) for their entitlement to an early offing.</p> <p>Therefore, they will be constantly battling with each other (at televised weekly specials)to try to get the public to vote for them to be killed sooner and more pleasantly, with the full knowledge that ever increasingly horrible demises await them. For example, first ten- bullet to the back of the neck...move progressively onwards through sexual fetishism and beasting, mild torture, garrotting, short-drop hanging, on to beheading with a penknife, machete maceration; through to burning, poker up the arse, peeling and salting, tearing apart by wild voters, drawing and quartering, entrails burned in front of their eyes...until finally, the one the public wanted to keep in right until the end is lying splayed in a flaming eagle, suffocating on their own morcellised genitalia.</p> <p>Its a clear ratings winner, the idea should syndicate around the world, it'll bring endemol-esque riches to the country and rid us of 650 power-crazed smug dollops of vermin.</p> <p>Biscuits, I commend this motion to the house. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90889 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 09:45:20 +0000 dvo4fun 90889@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like that idea Ironduke.</p> <p>And runestone's 'aluminium' and I am somewhat drawn to using the implement in the manner of a snooker cue. </p> <p>It's a tad like 'Desert island discs'. Picking eight is not too much trouble; Pickles, Gove, Osborne, Clegg (obviously), Cameron, Huhne (but he'd probably send his wife instead)and Francis Smug-Maude. Not sure who else would squeeze into the top eight.</p> <p>But, when it comes to choosing just one ....... </p> <p>Right. Time for today's Largactil dose </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90880 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 08:29:38 +0000 Ironduke 90880@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perhaps we could have an implement appropriate to each individual, Cleudo style.</p> <p>Osbourne, to the solar plexus, with a billiard ball in a sock. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90876 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 08:02:18 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 90876@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I condemn this outrageous and disgusting thread in the strongest possible terms; baseball bats are an ugly American import - the British way is with pick-axe handles. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90872 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:15:57 +0000 Gerontius 90872@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>spot on dvo....it IS just you I'd like to hit with a baseball bat. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90869 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:09:05 +0000 Golgo14 90869@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Maybe if we all clubbed together it'd make an appreciable difference. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90868 Sat, 15 Oct 2011 01:10:21 +0000 bonjonelson 90868@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Can we choose one each? That might be an elegant solution to the problem. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90858 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:42:49 +0000 JohnA 90858@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But Huhne would still not get a clue. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90857 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:39:54 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 90857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea ID, the image I now have in my head made me laugh out loud. That's 2 comments on this thread that have made me do that now. Thanks for starting it dvo! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90856 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:34:03 +0000 Ironduke 90856@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>to one of the sails of the windmill, by his heels...then you just have to hold the bat out in a bit of a gust, and he can smack his own head against it.</p> <p>Repeatedly, with minimal effort input from you.</p> <p>A green beating. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90854 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:26:27 +0000 JohnA 90854@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Huhne, but only after I'd tied him to one of his windmills. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90834 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:26:23 +0000 Ironduke 90834@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd smack Clegg in the cnut. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90833 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:23:00 +0000 Al OPecia 90833@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pickles. In the face. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90830 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:10:38 +0000 The All New Jeni B 90830@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I couldn't possibly choose just one, so I'd line them up in a tightly-packed line, then hit Cameron first.<br /> Hopefully I'd do it with sufficient force to create a 'Newton's Cradle' effect which would affect them all. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32023#post-90828 Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:02:33 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 90828@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Runestone - brilliant! Made me laugh out loud.</p> <p>Dvo - I only know 2, Cameron and Osborne, so I guess it would have to be one of them, probably just whichever was closest. </p>