http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 18:34:59 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=3#post-93703 Mon, 31 Oct 2011 20:15:43 +0000 godly1966 93703@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Environmentally friendly condoms for sale made from recycled tyres, there’s 365 in a good year. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=3#post-92204 Sun, 23 Oct 2011 11:50:58 +0000 writinginbsl 92204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For sale:</p> <p>World War two Italian tank-no forward gears, five reverse.<br /> (Hat tip Mr BSL) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=3#post-91965 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:28:36 +0000 A Wagonload Of Monkeys 91965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have always wanted to place these two ads...</p> <p>FOR SALE Lucky Rabbits feet</p> <p>Immediately followed by</p> <p>Rabbits wanted </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91834 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:40:29 +0000 Ironduke 91834@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I stand corrected, VCG. Bless you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91725 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:28:00 +0000 bonjonelson 91725@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you want this kind of reward from your afterlife, you should consider the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, their heaven has Beer Volcanoes and Stripper Factories </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91719 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:16:57 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 91719@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ID - what you're trying to do there is apply logic to religion. I'd give that a miss if I were you, you'll only be disappointed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91717 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:09:18 +0000 Ironduke 91717@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have a small difficulty with the promised virgins reward concept.</p> <p>Presumably the virgins would also have to be dead.</p> <p>Now, I think any 'dead virgins' survey would carry two major categories: infants who sadly passed away before reaching sexual maturity, and very elderly people reaching the end of their natural life span who chose never to have sex in their lives (or for some other reasons are unable to attract a sexual partner throughout their lives. I'm clearly thinking, but trying to avoid saying that they're munters, and now they are geriatric munters).</p> <p>I appreciate I have no definitive statistics here, but my guess is that you're pinning all your hopes on attractive and willing young ladies popping their cork just before they pop their cherry and I just don't know if that happens frequently enough to be able to round up 40 at the drop of a hat- or detonator- particularly if there is a run on the market, as it were.</p> <p>So...statistically, the reward in the afterlife- sick kiddie-fiddling and ugly granny-boffing? I wonder if this is being thoroughly explained to the righteous? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91685 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 07:26:18 +0000 dvo4fun 91685@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Crackerjack Gerontius. Packed as full as a rich fruit cake. Or a semtex nail jacket. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91677 Thu, 20 Oct 2011 05:34:24 +0000 Gerontius 91677@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could this help.<br /> I did this one in a previous lifetime<br /> <a href="http://beta.newsbiscuit.com/board/36/12/9//SALE-SALE-SALE.html" rel="nofollow">http://beta.newsbiscuit.com/board/36/12/9//SALE-SALE-SALE.html</a><br /> SALE SALE SALE</p> <p><strong>SALE SALE SALE</strong> </p> <p>Everything must to go due to relocation...we are going to a better place </p> <p>Visit Kazbaar Clothing for the latest in Suicide Bomber Clothing and Accessories</p> <p>Detonation guaranteed or money back </p> <p>We offer a 30 day trial period return policy </p> <p>Get noticed but not detected in our stylish range of killer clothing </p> <p>Off the shelf or made to measure,send him on his way in the stylish "TerraTux" suitable for the hotel lobby or dinner table</p> <p>No give away sweat stains or unsightly bulges. </p> <p>Comes with luxury nail lined breast pocket and detenator pouch (batteries not included)</p> <p>Or for those less formal, one-on-one more intimate moments then we have the versatile limited edition "Fatwah"</p> <p>Ideal if you are planning to take someone out or just browsing the market square</p> <p>Comes with a FREE stylish "knee-tector"...so no more sore knees at prayer time...includes built in compass</p> <p>And for the kids we have the "Junior Jehad" a trendy little bomber jacket that will make him the envy of Indoctrination Classes throughout the Province.</p> <p>Or why not try the very latest in style. </p> <p>From the catwalks of New York Paris and London have those virgins queueing up when they see you primed and ready to go in the ever popular "Infidel"....just made for that man about town</p> <p>For the fundamentalist in your life </p> <p>Visit Kazbaar Clothing </p> <p>All items are hand made in the foothills of Kandahar by local craftsmen and all materials locally sourced.</p> <p>We are a member of the Free Trade association </p> <p>ALL PRODUCTS SEMTEX APPROVED </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91665 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:38:53 +0000 Screenie 91665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wanted: Funny sentence to put in spoof classifieds Ad. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91611 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:49:10 +0000 Poecheng 91611@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For sale:<br /> French military flag: white cross on a white background </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91610 Wed, 19 Oct 2011 18:47:00 +0000 Poecheng 91610@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>For sale<br /> Antique French army rifle: good condition, never fired, dropped twice </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91192 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:58:28 +0000 The All New Jeni B 91192@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, the "Ring of Fire". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91191 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:58:10 +0000 godly1966 91191@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Restaurant at Emirates stadium for hire, Fifty thousand mugs included but no cups. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91190 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:50:51 +0000 godly1966 91190@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only to his inner circle. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91188 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:48:06 +0000 The All New Jeni B 91188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is that Anal Titchmarsh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91187 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:45:04 +0000 godly1966 91187@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bush need trimming? Clematis needs stimulating? For red hot gardening chat call A Tichmarsh on 0891 123#### </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91177 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:12:00 +0000 nickb 91177@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>bugger just saw the other time machine one </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-91176 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:08:31 +0000 nickb 91176@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wanted: Time Machine. Can pick up last week </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90530 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:28:50 +0000 bonjonelson 90530@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>WANTED: A rather poor movie staring Angelina Jolie </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90525 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:20:29 +0000 tedweasel 90525@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Bar t'at is better Scroat. Let me know when you're in town. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90502 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 09:38:27 +0000 Scroat 90502@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Preferably the C&amp;C. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90493 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 09:10:56 +0000 dvo4fun 90493@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Typical. Three weeks AFTER my first and probably only visit to Ilkley. </p> <p>I'm now glad that I didn't think of anything funny to add </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90456 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 07:19:52 +0000 tedweasel 90456@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Many, many thanks for your contributions Biscuiteers, most are brilliant, some are scary and some have been passed to Special Branch.</p> <p>Free beer in Ilkley for all contributors (subject to terms &amp; conditions, one beer per post, no cash equivalent) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90433 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 23:17:55 +0000 bonjonelson 90433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>tHANK yOU </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90422 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:42:22 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 90422@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bonjo, that is brilliant! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90420 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:35:13 +0000 The All New Jeni B 90420@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>White Fiat Uno for sale.<br /> Been stored in a barn for a few years.<br /> Caveat Emptor. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90415 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:17:26 +0000 bonjonelson 90415@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ComputerKeyboardForSale.FullWorkingOrderButSoldAsSeen. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90409 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:03:25 +0000 Golgo14 90409@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quality escorts with happy endings. No more wandering around the bus station with no idea where to go. Destination? Probable. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31869&page=2#post-90402 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 21:34:49 +0000 JohnA 90402@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wanted: Someone to find me the person who sold me a faulty Time Machine. Seller will be around 3 years old by now. </p>