Forum » Topic: NEAT O CHALLENGE

Forum » Topic: NEAT O CHALLENGE http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 26 May 2013 07:23:41 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php Mrblacker on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-10104 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 08:08:14 +0000 Mrblacker 10104@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Glad to hear you're enjoying REK, Mr Hack. I'm coming late to the Seasick Steve party at the mo - loving his work. Mrblacker on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-10102 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 08:07:31 +0000 Mrblacker 10102@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Secret papers reveal France was planning Breakfast-based ICBM[b] Papers unearthed at the NATO headquarters in Brussels show French weapons designers were planning a fully independent missile system that could deliver a complete continental-style breakfast to a front-line in under 4 minutes. The project, called 'Le Petite Dejeuner Nucleaire', was developed between 1961 and 1987 and would have utilised the country's Pluto short-range battlefield nuclear weapon as means of delivery. "These papers are absolutely fascinating" Prof David Lewis from the Royal Military College, Sandhurst said. "They show France was actively working on a way of delivering Pain au Chocolat and Croissants over staggering distances with frightening accuracy." The documents show the missile would have been ready to launch within 4 minutes of a Soviet invasion of Western Germany, despite France withdrawing their nuclear deterrent from full NATO operations in the mid-1960's. "The aim was quite clear. In the face of malnourished Soviet troops, a series of cafe tables covered in fresh Pain au Chocolat, croissants, black coffee, orange juice, bricoche, yoghurt and museli at the front line, would have been too tempting to ignore." "French military planners assumed the soldiers would stop in their tracks to have a good meal. That would have made them easy targets for the assembled NATO tanks to take out peacemeal." "Had that not worked, and even if the troops had consumed the meal, they would have been too weak to continue fighting. After all, rabbit food's no substitute for a good fry-up." Prof Lewis added. The programme was eventually wound up, two years after members for the French Secret Service sunk GreenPeace's Rainbow Warrior ship in 1985. edward hack on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-10082 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 05:58:21 +0000 edward hack 10082@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Alec - post it again NeatO is a good opportunity to ressurect old subs that might otherwise get overlooked Love the Robert Earl Keen Best of album...perfect driving music I remember it now (see below) fine sub. Just about to go 'heading up the Queen's Highway lookin' like a streak of lightnin' (anybody?) Windows down, shades on, wind in my hair....give my beige Citreon Picasso (hatchback diesel) full throttle - cool or what? I'll be giving REK a blast Shropshire here I come. The All New Jeni B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-10075 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 21:11:44 +0000 The All New Jeni B 10075@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Many, many moons (rivers) ago, Tiffany's New York store actually had a restaurant on one of the upper floors where you could actually have "Breakfast At Tiffany's". Being a huuuuge Audrey Hepburn fan, and visiting family in NY around about that time, I pranced off in full pilgrimage mode only to find that it was sooo popular, you had to make reservations. Mrblacker on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-10074 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 20:58:46 +0000 Mrblacker 10074@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ by the way - anyone remember my 'Intercontinental Ballistic Breakfast Missile' sub that was so well received in the old NEAT-O? Mrblacker on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-10073 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 20:56:47 +0000 Mrblacker 10073@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Continental Breakfast 'too rubbery' say Michelin judges. more soon Basil_B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174&page=2#post-9755 Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:06:09 +0000 Basil_B 9755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Thanks for the history lecture Fernando. Everytime I hear Richard Bacon's name mentioned from now on I will only hear Richard Bassoon. Sigmund Freud on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9732 Wed, 28 Apr 2010 11:27:59 +0000 Sigmund Freud 9732@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Jewish breakfast recipe: first borrow 4 eggs.... curry muncher on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9536 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 09:37:57 +0000 curry muncher 9536@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I skipped breakfast to spend time on this sub fernandomando on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9517 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 08:36:25 +0000 fernandomando 9517@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Brief history of the Neat-O It all arose out of a dare between Rick and Mary. Mary was due to appear on the Richard Bacon show on Radio 5. Around that time, a number of people had looked at my blog <a href="http://fernandosbassoon.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://fernandosbassoon.blogspot.com/</a> The dare was to get the word 'bassoon' mentioned, which Mary achieved. The consequence for Rick was to post a sub about bassoons, which led to a brilliant FP here: <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/09/12/composer-arrested-after-debut-performance-of-symphony-for-bassoon-and-naked-dwarfs/" rel="nofollow">http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/09/12/composer-arrested-after-debut-performance-of-symphony-for-bassoon-and-naked-dwarfs/</a> For the next couple of weeks after that, the word 'bassoon' featured in the comedy world. Everyone thought that this first Neat-O was a good idea. A topic was chosen, a deadline set. The only rule was that the previous winner set the topic and judged the winner. And so it continued. These were ancient days. Basil_B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9513 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 08:09:40 +0000 Basil_B 9513@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ No worries Rick. Last week was my first attempt at Neat O and it came as a real shock to have actually won it. On top of that I then have to set the challenge for the following week without any prior knowledge of previous contests or knowing the basic rules also came as a bit of a surprise. Now I know there are no rules then I need'nt of worried although I expect no bombing or ducking are added to the no heavy petting rule. rickwestwell on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9493 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:46:01 +0000 rickwestwell 9493@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ (Petit) Dejeuner vu? <blockquote>If I remember correctly, the very first neat-o pulled a whole bunch of ideas into an amazing piece of surrealism which deservedly finished up on the FP.</blockquote> You do remember correctly! :-) No criticism was meant about the repeated breakfast, btw Basil. The first rule of Neat-O is "there are no rules". (And the second is "No Heavy Petting".) malgor on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9490 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:46:15 +0000 malgor 9490@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ This thread is becoming sooooo deja vu. fernandomando on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9487 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:36:34 +0000 fernandomando 9487@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ A re-post, and automatically deducted 10 points in favour of Ricardo Tiffany & Co, the exclusive jewellery retailer, has been so badly hit by the recession that is now offering customers a breakfast option. Customers have been deserting bespoke jewellery retailers in droves and it is anticipated that the lure of morning nourishment will regain valuable trade. The breakfasts themselves come in a variety of combinations, ranging from the traditional egg, chips, beans, black pudding, bubble and tea or coffee to the ‘Continental Breakfast’. The manager of Tiffany’s explained, ‘This is an exciting new concept for us, and we hope to open our doors to all manner of exciting new opportunities. We are especially excited at the continental breakfast option. While some might say that it is simply a stale croissant with a bit of English jam and a cup of tepid black coffee, we disagree. It will expose our customers to the finer, more cosmopolitan world of continental Europe. In many ways it will be an education for them, perhaps inspiring further knowledge of finer points of the political geography of the European continent.’ But this plan has met with opposition from more established breakfast retailers. Frank Smith, manager of ‘Greasy Frank’s Cafe’ in Lewisham was especially concerned, ‘How would Tiffany’s like it if I relocated my cafe to exclusive Bond Street premises and started selling diamonds and exclusive jewellery at enormous prices? I’ll tell you, they wouldn’t. They need to stay off my patch. The world of cut price breakfast cafe retailing is both lucrative and cut-throat. We intend to take whatever action we can. And don’t get me started on their ‘Continental Breakfast’ option. I mean, are their customers really ready for exposure to the wider European continent? I don’t think so. They’re just cynically cashing in on an image. Some of us have more integrity than that. Despite the opposition, Tiffany & Co are pressing ahead with the plan. However they are currently looking for a new chef, as their first choice Keith Floyd is currently unavailable. malgor on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9443 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:21:16 +0000 malgor 9443@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ To be fair to my accuser, that wasn't the phrase they used. It was more like 'Fuck off, you old git.' edward hack on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9435 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:53:56 +0000 edward hack 9435@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ anally-retentive spreadsheet-obsessed control-freak is the sort of accusation I would die for...sounds great malgor on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9434 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:50:29 +0000 malgor 9434@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Continental breakfasts ‘turned me into a French gay-boy’ says former Durham miner After the closure of the mines, the split of redundant miners into two distinct socio-cultural groups was nowhere more apparent than in the early morning cafes of Co Durham, says a new report. The majority stayed with the bacon, sausage, egg, beans, mushrooms, fried bread, black pudding and mug of tea tradition, and retained very strong views about ‘that bastard Thatcher’; whilst a small minority moved their chairs to the pavement, where they took their breakfasts ‘continental style’ and discussed existentialism in French accents. ‘There was a small group of us,’ recalls Fred North, ‘with the same philosophical leaning and similar berets. To us, the mines were finished and it was time to move on, sentiments aptly symbolised by two stale croissants and a cup of Nescafe. We had become ‘the outsiders’. Then I met Jacques, on a break from the endless ennui of militant action in Paris, and it wasn’t long before we’d sealed our personal entente cordiale with a kiss on both cheeks, a quick shrug and a shared Gauloise.’ Fred North’s story is not an uncommon side-effect of the continental breakfast say experts, nor is it restricted to northern male ex-miners. ‘Starting the day regularly with pain au chocolat turned me into horny French lesbian,’ confesses Nicole on page 3. malgor on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9431 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:40:40 +0000 malgor 9431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I think the answer is there are no rules. The neat-o is a fluid, naturally evolving phenomenon with a life of its own. But, for what it's worth, I think it's not so much the particular word that's important but the ideas and connotations the word (or phrase) evokes. And more important still is that the neat-o provides an opportunity to inspire writers to have a crack at a theme, help overcome writer's block and help each other out in the development of an idea. If I remember correctly, the very first neat-o pulled a whole bunch of ideas into an amazing piece of surrealism which deservedly finished up on the FP. I wouldn't call it a rule as such, but I do tend to think that neat-os should be able to stand alone as a proper (writers' room) submission. I'll post the one I wrote for Continental Breakfast, which wasn't entered in the original challenge for that topic because I was judging and I naturally followed an unwritten but obvious rule that the judge can't take part in his / her own challenge. Hopefully, you'll see that the concept of Continental Breakfast is a particular sub-set of the Breakfast theme and may therefore be deemed 'a bit off topic'. Basil_B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9410 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:19:21 +0000 Basil_B 9410@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Fair enough but does that mean English Breakfast is ok for another time or Breakfast Bar, Breakfast in bed, Bed & Breakfast etc. The main point i'm making Malgor is the word breakfast still allowed under the correct and proper rules of NEAT O ? That last paragraph of mine is out of the top draw of anal so your not the only one at it Malgor. malgor on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9398 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 14:50:51 +0000 malgor 9398@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ @Basil - yes, there was a time when I published a list of the Neat-Os, but was roundly slammed for being an anally-retentive spreadsheet-obsessed control-freak. However, for the record, my topic was CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST, so BREAKFAST isn't really a repetition. Carry on... andhrimnir on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9374 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 12:51:26 +0000 andhrimnir 9374@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ 10 Across: Prisoner faces porridge after laughing at the beak's fart (9) Mr Glover Lover on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9372 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 12:37:02 +0000 Mr Glover Lover 9372@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Disability Rights bill forces Little Chef to launch Paralympic Breakfast. Basil_B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9341 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 09:04:14 +0000 Basil_B 9341@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I had no idea that breakfast had already been used. I've only picked up on the Neat O idea just recently so any words that have been used previously I knew nothing of, honestly your honour. I take it Fernando your re-submitting your fine September sub. It's going to be a hard decision on Saturday. edward hack on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9317 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 05:31:15 +0000 edward hack 9317@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Top sub : Back in the day when reaching a Neat-O Challenge final meant something. Now it's all about the top four and qualifying for the FPs and NIBs These days you wont attract the top writers unless they are taking part in the FP rickwestwell on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9316 Mon, 26 Apr 2010 02:42:45 +0000 rickwestwell 9316@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Here y'go <a href="http://beta.newsbiscuit.com/board/69/18/4//Recession-hit-jewellery-retailer-offers.html">Fernando</a>. Charming sub you have there. Weird that we've had two Neat-Os on the breakfast theme, but I guess it is the most important meal of the day. <a href="http://beta.newsbiscuit.com/board/69/39/5//Neat-O-2-RESULTS-the-final-part.html">Here's</a> the link to the results of Malgor's one, in case anyone wants to copy. PluckyMunky on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9285 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 19:32:57 +0000 PluckyMunky 9285@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Breakfast brought up as lunch. QorbeQ on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9283 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 19:12:30 +0000 QorbeQ 9283@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Channel Four 'to be shuttered within days' says Ofcom, after the TV station's Chief Executive, David Abrahams, announces the resurrection of The Big Breakfast. No more soon. theumpire on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9282 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 19:12:21 +0000 theumpire 9282@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Further scrutiny of John Prescott's iPod reveals the following - Bed & Breakfast Man – Madness Breakfast in Bed – UB40 with Chrissie Hynde Brown Sugar – Rolling Stones Addicted to Food – Robert Palmer Tutti Frutti – Little Richard Honey - Bobby Goldsboro That Old Black Magic – Frank Sinatra Sherry – The Four Seasons Jelly, Jelly – Earl Hines American Pie – Don Maclean Whisky in the Jar – Thin Lizzy Gasoline Alley Bread – The Hollies Mouldy old Dough – Lieutenant Pigeon All washed down with a glass of Lilac Wine from Elkie Brooks. Basil_B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9274 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:36:14 +0000 Basil_B 9274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ You'll have the R.S.P.C.A on your case for that one Plucky. Basil_B on "NEAT O CHALLENGE" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3174#post-9270 Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:25:07 +0000 Basil_B 9270@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ The contest is hotting nicely with Edward's eaten trifles although trifle is a bit decadent for breakfast. Looking forward to your recovery from the dreaded block Umpire. A neat challenge without a contribution from you would not be right but judging by your recent work on here I cannot see any evidence of writers block. Rickwestwell's take on it is as obscure as I like and the standard has been set from the start with his all day breakfast served on a occasional table piece. Great start.