http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 04:33:08 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-157667 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 09:21:29 +0000 Dick Everyman 157667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely stuff Wayland</p> <p>Eric Morcambe once made reference to a speeding ambulance with its siren at full blast outside his window - "They'll never sell any ice-cream going at that speed" (or words to that effect)</p> <p>Looks like they stopped and succeeded ;0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-157652 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:20:54 +0000 Squudge 157652@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely, I haven't fossicked through the oldies. My raspberry mivvi is melting (as the lady paramedic said to the injured bishop). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-157649 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 05:03:25 +0000 Yikes 157649@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well this was very funny! 100s and 1,000s of stars!</p> <p>Did it ever get used??? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-157643 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 02:34:27 +0000 Audible Minority 157643@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Also, can anyone please tell me how to use a pretty picture instead of the random Rorschach card that was allocated to me when I signed on?</p> <p>Thank you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-157641 Mon, 14 Jan 2013 02:18:46 +0000 Audible Minority 157641@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The original was posted by Chraine Potok in September 1893, and had the Kent Fire Brigade playing the William Tell Overture and the Greater Manchester Police playing Popeye the Sailor Man. Nevertheless, the original article got only four-and-half stars and, like this one, never made it to the Newsbiscuit front page. Such are the expectations of the Newsbiscuit editorial committee that it turns such talent away. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86503 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:09:59 +0000 waylandsmithy 86503@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mountain Dew? That was as popular as 'New Coke'. I do remember Quatro: brilliant for bouncing off the walls! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86501 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:04:26 +0000 Screenie 86501@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I remember neither of the above. Tab clear anyone? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86494 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:15:19 +0000 button 86494@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bloody hell, Top Deck! ANyone remember Quatro? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86478 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 12:36:17 +0000 Screenie 86478@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What a team. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86477 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 12:34:34 +0000 Qoxiivi 86477@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant Screenie; they're all in on it. That would make the perfect punchline to this piece. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86476 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 12:32:22 +0000 Screenie 86476@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The driver of a backup police vehicle that arrived at the scene with a bootful of magnums is also being questioned. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86469 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 12:07:55 +0000 Golgo13 86469@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think I saw somebody with a two-ball screwball on TV's "Embarrassing Bodies" last night... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86464 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 11:48:18 +0000 Screenie 86464@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mint. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86461 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 11:44:10 +0000 waylandsmithy 86461@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ta! I wasn't sure about it, more than open to improvements. I got side-tracked trying (and failing) to get 'Funny Feet' into it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86450 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 10:10:34 +0000 Qoxiivi 86450@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Personally, I love it.</p> <p>Maybe add in something about them responding to criticism over response times by stocking more Zooms.</p> <p>Will think of some more ideas - as this warrants it. Cracking sub. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86444 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 10:02:48 +0000 Rowly 86444@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A bit Flaky, but I like it.<br /> perhaps they could be useful putting "cones" around an accident scene </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86430 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 09:19:33 +0000 Golgo14 86430@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>you shouldn't phone 999 just because you want nine 99s...? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86429 Tue, 20 Sep 2011 09:08:05 +0000 TokyoTomato 86429@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The pun is mightier than the sword. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30672#post-86378 Mon, 19 Sep 2011 20:20:21 +0000 waylandsmithy 86378@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A team of paramedics from Bristol have been suspended after reportedly selling ice cream from their ambulance. If found guilty they face a rocky road, and could see their incomes frozen.</p> <p>"Our suspicions were first raised when the team arrived at a major pile-up on the M5, playing Greensleeves instead of the normal woowoos", explained Inspector Phillips, heading the investigation. "For some reason, most of the cars moved out their way anyway: we think they might have pulled over to look for change. The crew certainly got there lickety split."</p> <p>The ambulance features a number of unapproved modifications, including a Mr Whippy machine where the defibrilator should be, and a crudely-drawn duck on the bonnet that blatantly infringes Disney copyright. "The window tinting has been torn off one side so patients can see the lolly pictures and they've written jokes on the tongue compressors. I don't know how they were expecting to treat people in an emergency: there's not many medical situations where oxygen is less helpful than a warm can of Top Deck."</p> <p>The crew were traced driving slowly to emergencies, past an unusually large number of primary schools. "They're claimed that it was good for publicity, and even handed out cards advertising our emergency service. But we'd like to make it quite clear you shouldn't phone 999 just because it's a hot day."</p> <p>It's not only response times that have been put in jeopardy. One woman was lucky to survive after she was accidentally given 2 pints of raspberry syrup intravenously: "It's incredibly reckless to store ice-cream toppings in the blood cupboard. Fortunately the lady in question survived, but she's sueing us for hundreds and thousands."</p> <p>(It's a bit scrappy, and I'm sure someone must have done this before? Can't find any evidence of it, so I thought I'd bang it up anyway) </p>