http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 00:19:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86034 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 17:10:43 +0000 charlies_hat 86034@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There are few pleasures in life as satisfying a killing off the last remaining bit of a well pissed on toilet block.... a testament to a healthy prostate. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86026 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 16:16:57 +0000 Screenie 86026@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Probably a pisshead. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86025 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 16:06:48 +0000 charlies_hat 86025@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Reading down this list of comments has made me laugh out loud more than almost any single sub in the last month - is that a sign of good or bad quality, or a sad reflection on my limited humour level?</p> <p>There was a lad at our school who would eat the blue blocks if you dared him to, often wonder what happened to him..... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86015 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 15:05:32 +0000 writinginbsl 86015@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>i have always suspected that many males are proud of any bodily secretions they produce.</p> <p>hmmm </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86011 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:45:16 +0000 Pagantroll 86011@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VCG, by the look of the floor every trucker at South Mimms does it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86008 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:42:48 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 86008@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo, it is strangely satisfying to melt the piles of ice isn't it? Never been to Japan but have found a similar set up somewhere, think it might have been Madrid.</p> <p>Does anybody else, when faced with a urinal in an otherwise empty pub toilet, ever start pissing and then slowly walk backwards to see how far away you can get while still hitting the target? Or is that just me? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86007 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:35:39 +0000 beau-jolly 86007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I remember a guerilla marketing campaign for an alcopop called something like Happy Frog. They put stickers on pubs' urinals saying "Bet you can't piss me off". I often thought about the poor students employed to stick them on. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86006 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:31:25 +0000 Pagantroll 86006@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Doing a 360' was a term we used in my hang gliding days back in the '70s. Usually involved shit not piss though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86005 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:29:18 +0000 Screenie 86005@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Does anybody have a favoured direction, or does it solely depend on the lie? I'm a clockwise man myself. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86004 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:21:23 +0000 Pagantroll 86004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good trick is to take a piss during a long phone call, straight down the middle with speakerphone on is best. Usually ends the call promptly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86002 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:19:24 +0000 Golgo13 86002@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Whereas German urinals often feature a picture of a fly to aim at, during the 2006 World Cup, the urinals in the Munich Messe exhibition hall had little goal posts and a miniature plastic football on a flexible wire. A well-directed powerful stream could propel and hold the ball in the goal. </p> <p>In Japan, in posh 'hostess' bars they fill the urinals with piles of ice-cubes, which gives the trips to the bogs another level of entertainment, as your piss melts the cubes on contact and causes inexplicably satisfying avalanches and rearrangements in the ice structure.</p> <p>Excerpts from <em>Pissing All Over The World</em> by Duke Togo (sold as <em>Around the World in 80 Sprays</em> in the US and Canada) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-86000 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:12:29 +0000 rikkor 86000@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In my time boys, I have seen (and used) urinal cakes that have a propeller attached that can be made to go 'round very fast by the Golgos of the world. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85999 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:09:54 +0000 Des Custard 85999@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I nominate Golgo for Team GBP. I like all the comments, but then I'm still chuffed at dislodging a block that was perched on the raised drain cover yesterday. Apparently they are also called urinal cakes. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85990 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:50:03 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 85990@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Behave guys. Des posted a very serious sub and you've just hijacked it and started childishly talking about piss. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85981 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:39:32 +0000 Golgo13 85981@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Much harder if the poo-dots have been there a while, though, eh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85979 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:36:42 +0000 Qoxiivi 85979@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Glad to see someone else out there married 'having a piss' with performing a public duty by trying to clean shit of the pan with their stream. It's almost a hobby for me.</p> <p>Oh, and great sub btw. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85976 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:25:17 +0000 Golgo13 85976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Truth be told, I went to a state primary. I <em>did</em> go to a private secondary, but I had pretty much retired from the piss-on-the-ceiling circuit by then.</p> <p>I still 'turn up the pressure' sometimes if there's a bit of a poo-stripe on the toilet bowl, but no, no come-backs for me... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85974 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:15:55 +0000 Dick Everyman 85974@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm guessing you went to public school Golgo, wasn't there a scene like that in Brideshead Revisited or was it edited out? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85971 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:01:16 +0000 Golgo13 85971@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It kind of dripped back onto the floor anyway...I used to put on performances in the school bogs at break, and for a short while I was a bit of a star...</p> <p>I think if I tried the stunt now, I'd probably just soil myself in the process, then have to shuffle off the stage... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85970 Fri, 16 Sep 2011 12:56:48 +0000 Dick Everyman 85970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo - narrowbore cock or not, were you told incessantly by your mother never to piss on the floor? This may have been the underlying issue behind your behaviour... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85842 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:51:54 +0000 writinginbsl 85842@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yes screenie, but golgo was presumably shorter then too</p> <p>he may have been called duke togo in those days </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85841 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:48:08 +0000 Screenie 85841@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ceilings were lower back then Golgo. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85829 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 18:27:48 +0000 ronseal 85829@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it</p> <p>I once printed some pictures of Max Clifford onto rice paper</p> <p>Then stuck the rice paper headshot onto a toilet block</p> <p>And tried to sell it on eBay</p> <p>Alas, there was no market for it</p> <p>I would personally love a picture of Max Clifford on a toilet block. </p> <p>I'm clearly out of step with society</p> <p>or so I thought, until I read this brilliant story </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85819 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:43:48 +0000 Golgo13 85819@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I just had a very narrow bore cock back then. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85818 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:42:32 +0000 Gerontius 85818@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>you're lucky Golgo, when I get an erection I can't piss at all </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85817 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:36:52 +0000 Golgo13 85817@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>When I was 9, I could piss on the ceiling. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85814 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:33:05 +0000 Screenie 85814@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>One of the many pleasures in life that the ladies, rather unfairly, do not get to experience. Toilet block pissing that is, not posts by Des. Stars, obviously. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85813 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:29:46 +0000 dvo4fun 85813@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Des. Stars for 'cock-a-hoop' line on its own. </p> <p>Pagan, at my age I like to guess how many seconds it will be before I manage to start. But you may have that joy in front of you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85811 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:25:49 +0000 Pagantroll 85811@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it. Personally I like to guess how many seconds I can piss for. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30516#post-85804 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:13:53 +0000 Des Custard 85804@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Eric Sanders, 37, of Carshalton, was said to be cock-a-hoop yesterday after successfully propelling a disinfectant toilet block a full circuit round a urinal drainage hole in the course of a single micturation. He told reporters he had trained long and hard for the record attempt and had spent the entire morning beforehand drinking alternate cups of strong coffee and glasses of water.</p> <p>Unfortunately, calls for the achievement to be recognised as an official record have not succeeded. Colleagues claim the block had been worn down by previous attempts and was no longer of regulation size and shape, but more importantly the Guinness Book of Records has said that all record attempts must be witnessed before they can be ratified. </p> <p>Mr Sanders said that while of course he would have no problems going while being watched, he had no wish to put himself through the arduous preparation process again. However, he is understood to be considering a further attempt provided the observer is in another room and uses a camera that only looks downwards and not sideways. He is also reported to be interested in a sponsorship offer by Guinness if he succeeds.</p> <p>The worldwide popularity of urinal block pissing has led to calls for it to be recognised as an Olympic event at Rio de Janeiro in 2016 in place of the 50 kilometre road walk, but some fear this would detract from the amateur spirit of the sport. ‘In no time at all, it would become dominated by shameless leviathans with elephant-sized bladders and high-pressure dongs, achieving double or even triple circuits,’ said a spokesman. ‘Where’s the fun in that?’</p> <p>Focus groups have however reported a ‘what’s not to like?’ response from teenagers and fans of programmes as diverse as X-Factor and QI, and work on a special stadium by makers of see-through squash courts has already been commissioned. </p>