http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 06:39:14 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-102622 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 23:26:22 +0000 nickb 102622@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Maybe the spammer will stay for amusement's sake. Unless she is the product of a sophisticated bot. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-102604 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 20:17:07 +0000 iambiscuit 102604@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Im BMW user. Thnaks for the information. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-102567 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:35:25 +0000 dvo4fun 102567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yeah include me in please perks </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-102565 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:33:50 +0000 Perks 102565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice FP. right now off to set up a spam account!!!!!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-102539 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:55:36 +0000 waylandsmithy 102539@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is this the first FP attributable to a spammer?? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-102531 Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:00:13 +0000 dvo4fun 102531@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Slow burn cracker and lovely foto too </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85755 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:04:30 +0000 Dick Everyman 85755@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi VCG! Haha no not quite buggered off yet...I'm back after a busy summer although I've dipped in and out of NB in between times. Good to hear from you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85735 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 12:53:23 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 85735@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work Dick. Good to see you back after a bit of a break too, I was starting to think you'd buggered off. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85733 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 12:49:41 +0000 Dick Everyman 85733@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for your positive comments and the kind offer of therapy - isn't there a Stain Devil for beetroot stains Gerontius? Failing that I'd cut a hole around the offending blemish and use if as an extra fly-hole. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85700 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 12:07:47 +0000 dvo4fun 85700@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dick, I'm sensing a little tension here. Would you like to lie down in a darkened room and talk about it? 5x pointed stars of course.</p> <p>Hmm. What was 'tailgating' before hatchbacks with tailgates were introduced in the 1970s? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85692 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 11:50:58 +0000 Gerontius 85692@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Spot on.<br /> Love this one to bits.<br /> Beatification awaits you DE... 5* is nowhere near enough<br /> <em>Selfish?</em><br /> <em>Arrogant?</em><br /> <em>Preoccupied?</em><br /> <em>Why not test drive a BMW today</em><br /> p.s. my only gripe...how do you get beetroot stains out of your underpants </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85687 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 11:36:28 +0000 waylandsmithy 85687@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quality, like this a lot! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85680 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 11:13:50 +0000 Dick Everyman 85680@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was caught up in the BMW equivalent of a 'spit roast' on my journey home last night - most uncomfortable. Hence my bile today! They just seem to creep up from nowhere... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85659 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 10:10:49 +0000 Ostsee 85659@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Right up your volvo. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85656 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 10:02:24 +0000 Screenie 85656@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They always seem to manage to come up behind me pretty quick. Stars of course. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85653 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 09:55:43 +0000 Dick Everyman 85653@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers Writingbsl - yes agree with rear view stuff - I'm on to it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85647 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 09:46:52 +0000 writinginbsl 85647@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny<br /> stars</p> <p>btw</p> <p>'However close ups of rear bumpers and small saloons viewed through rear view mirrors' ...not sure the rear view bit works effectively-perhaps simulated windscreens or something? Otherwise it undermines your 'tailgating'theme?<br /> Just a thought </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30479#post-85635 Thu, 15 Sep 2011 08:53:08 +0000 Dick Everyman 85635@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In research undertaken by the British Medical Association a link between driving a BMW and erectile dysfunction has been positively identified. It is estimated that the condition affects more than 95% of male BMW drivers after tests were undertaken on a sample of 10,000 UK men between the ages of 30 and 65.</p> <p>Head of the study group, Marcus Johnson said, “I first became aware of the phenomenon when two of my BMW driving colleagues expressed a downturn in their sexual prowess. However, once behind the wheel of their Series 5’s, X1’s or Z4’s they expressed ‘absolute orgasmic’ pleasure at sitting on the arse of the car in front and overtaking in inappropriate circumstances.”</p> <p>Johnson expanded his research to include men from other employment groups, such as insurance men; banking professionals and chartered surveyors. He noted that orgasmic reactions were higher when driving black BMW’s rather than white models where the ‘vinegar stroke’ ratio was almost 10% lower. “Interestingly drivers of any BMW model with the word Coupé in the name became total ‘flat-liners’ after walking away from the car and applying the central locking system. “The sound of the locks coupled with the flashing security lights was more effective than an overdose of bromide.”</p> <p>The research has indicated a psychosomatic reaction between the driver and the vehicle with social and behavioural factors affecting bodily processes. “In layman’s terms these guys just can’t get it up once they are out of the driver’s seat.”</p> <p>Treatments are now being studied with the power of suggestion through positive thinking being the likely way forward. “In our carefully controlled arousal tests we used images of Pippa Middleton’s arse; Beyoncé’s shaking tush and a selection of MILF’s including Lulu, Twiggy and Harriet Harman but all to no avail. However when extreme close ups of rear bumpers were projected on to the screen in the BMW simulator it almost put our laboratory out of Kleenex.” Random images of Jeremy Clarkson also produced a similar outcome.</p> <p>As tests continue female BMW drivers are also coming under scrutiny, so far results have shown a predilection for lank blonde hair, pin stripe trouser suits and permanent use of a mobile phone at speeds of over 60mph.</p> <p>Johnson concluded, “If we can identify the adverse biological and psychological effects related to driving a BMW, then perhaps other road users will be spared the misfortune of having a sweaty faced individual sitting on their arses in search of sexual gratification.” </p>