http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 17:09:29 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84431 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 15:30:16 +0000 riesler 84431@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have a 49 year old scar on my finger. I am told it was dripping candle wax that caused it. Came in handy when I was learning left from right. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84398 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 12:38:03 +0000 dvo4fun 84398@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is there nobody out there with a hysterectomy or caesarean/caesarian scar? Or better yet both, to win this outright? [I had to check both spellings.] </p> <p>I was about to claim the oldest scar; on my leg, from a wound sustained on my last day at primary school. But I've just looked and it's gone! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84397 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 12:35:18 +0000 writinginbsl 84397@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>what happened to the toffee?<br /> i hope it wasnt wasted </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84391 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 12:01:04 +0000 The All New Jeni B 84391@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If you're comparing stupid scars, I have one that runs diagonally over the first joint of my left index finger from where I tried to prize apart two bits of toffee that were stuck together using the sharpest knife I could find.<br /> Missed the toffee and sliced through my finger, cutting a tendon and opening the finger to the bone.<br /> It'd would have healed straight if I'd gone to A&amp;E with it, rather than using paper stitches to close it myself... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84389 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:57:13 +0000 virtuallywill 84389@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It's like that scene in Jaws, Quint and Hooper comparing scars... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84380 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 11:20:30 +0000 jp1885 84380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've got a scar on my thumb after rebasing a plastic miniature for wargaming, so have some stars. </p> <p>Oh, and a few more for mentioning God's own city. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84377 Tue, 06 Sep 2011 10:54:30 +0000 writinginbsl 84377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>OK<br /> So you think you lot think you are hardcore,eh?</p> <p>I have a scar on my knee where i walked around with a sewing needle (unknowingly)embedded in it for a week,yes, I then had it removed<br /> Also, a month ago hit my self in the face with a sack truck. 5 stitches and an action man scar below my eyebrow</p> <p>probably not hardcore, gardening and sewing, unless i had been drunk at the time.<br /> I do often fall off my MTB though, perhaps that will count for something </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84313 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 22:15:47 +0000 The All New Jeni B 84313@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You lot really are a bunch of wusses aren't you?</p> <p>I've got a scar on my leg from a bottle. (A fight broke out in the pub I worked in and I tried to break it up, but the bottle that was thrown missed, hit the floor and bounced up, slashing a 4" cut in my left shin.)</p> <p>I have callouses on both hands. (Originally from years of horse-riding, then from pulling pints in a Real Ale pub, then more horse-riding, and now there permanently.)</p> <p>I have my own tool-box and power tools and regularly use them to build things, repair things,etc.</p> <p>I also love cars and football and can confidently talk about both in a pub full of blokes.</p> <p>Seriously, I could probably kick all of your asses in an arm-wrestle.</p> <p>Good sub, btw. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84247 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 13:35:09 +0000 f0zz 84247@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You never forget the first time you shake an office worker's hand. Pasty, flaccid thing, smoother than a condom full of cool whip. Pretty sure it was his hand, anyway. </p> <p>Stars, in spite of that remembered trauma. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84241 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 12:57:09 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 84241@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it.</p> <p>I've got a decent collection of scars, some from playing football, some from drinking injuries, one from hitting myself in the head with a metal bar.</p> <p>I've also got a mystery scar where I was so drunk I don't have any idea how it happened. There's about a 10 minute blank spot in my memory of the night, before that 10 minutes I wasn't bleeding, after it I was. But I have absolutely no idea what happened.</p> <p>@ Golgo - if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to talk convincingly about football just repeat the phrase "Ashley Cole is a prick", that should do the job. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84238 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 12:47:26 +0000 rikkor 84238@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Amusant. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84231 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 11:06:08 +0000 writinginbsl 84231@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny<br /> stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84223 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 08:56:55 +0000 Sinnick 84223@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Strangely familar, all this</p> <p>I'm in IT. I also have an axe scar, on my left index finger. I really do know a web designer based a couple of miles from Reading. I used to own a bubblecar, and carried around a spare engine, just in case (and needed it!).</p> <p>I have been chased my lions in a car (no, I was in the car, not them), and I have been shat on by a pelican. Not sure how relevant that is.</p> <p>Stars, btw </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84213 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 07:34:43 +0000 Golgo13 84213@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it.</p> <p>As well as being useless at DIY, I don't know how to talk convincingly about football or cars.</p> <p>The scars I have are mainly from minor accidents while drunk. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84210 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 06:43:52 +0000 waylandsmithy 84210@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ronseal, an actual axe wound? That's hard to beat (and I didn't even lower the tone with an obvious gag).</p> <p>I've got a small dent in my head, but you probably guessed that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84204 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 23:48:23 +0000 Nick McCarr 84204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love it, especially about the poor brother who copped a hiding for watching Andy Pandy.</p> <p>They used to do tattoos with soldering guns back then didn't they? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84202 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 22:45:29 +0000 dvo4fun 84202@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Wayland. Another corker. I read it through again to try and find an odd typo or somesuch but just kept giggling. The Hereford para was genuine laugh out loud. </p> <p>Not too hot on the writing front but having worked in both soft skin and 90 grade hypoid gear oil environments I feel well qualified to award a certain amount of stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84200 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 22:41:24 +0000 ronseal 84200@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>True fact;</p> <p>I've got a scar where I hit myself with an axe. (between my little toes and the other one.)</p> <p>And I used to have a scar from when burnt myself doing the ironing.</p> <p>And let's not forget the paper cuts... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84199 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 22:39:10 +0000 ronseal 84199@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>LIKE IT </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84196 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 22:08:52 +0000 waylandsmithy 84196@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well Mrs Waylandsmithy liked it... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30013#post-84173 Sun, 04 Sep 2011 18:35:59 +0000 waylandsmithy 84173@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Soft-skinned men in the IT industry are flocking to cosmetic surgeons for the latest 'vanity' treatments. Tired of being accused of 'never doing a hard day's work in their life', computer operatives are paying up to £3,000 a time for ugly, extensive scar tissue transplants.</p> <p>"When my wife gave birth to a healthy, baby boy, I experienced mixed emotions", explained Gary Nicholls, a website designer in Reading. "Sure, it was a relief to see that he had all his fingers and toes and what-not, but how would I ever tell him I can't even put up a shelf, let alone fend off an aggressive pigeon?"</p> <p>Emasculated males are rejecting moisturisers and hypoallergenic balms for wire-wool scrubs and engine oil facials, hopeful of replicating their genuine '70s dads. "My old man used to be able to build a concrete coal bunker, change the spark plugs on a Triumph Bonneville and drink 8 pints of bitter, all before breakfast", lamented Gary. "Yet he'd still have the energy to beat my brother up for watching Andy Pandy, then leave us in the pub carpark with some crisps while he chatted with his mates about power tools. He was against them: he even rewired mum's kitchen with just a hammer, a large rock and his own teeth."</p> <p>A range of cosmetic treatments are being offered, that hint at tough upbringings from the school of hard knocks. As head surgeon Dr Nigel Clarke of Harley Davidson Street Surgeries explained, "Our most popular treatments are Shark Attack, Heavy Manual Labour and Extensive Brawling."</p> <p>"The treatments don't have to be expensive: we're offering a '2 for 1' on cauliflower ears at the moment, and hand calluses can be bought for £25 each. Or for just 50 quid, we can pump a fey young chap full of pain killers, dress him in a tutu and leave him in Hereford on a Saturday night. That treatment is in its early days, but in my defence, anecdotes about comas are pretty macho."</p> <p>Many patients are choosing neck and arm treatments, worried that showing off abdominal scars only really works if you're not wearing a vest. "I might go for some tiger claw marks on my torso next year", said Gary. "But I need to save up for a chest hair transplant first."</p> <p>Psychologists have accused surgeons of exploiting patients. "They're just playing on outdated fears", said Sophie Henderson, an expert on self-esteem. "Most women aren't impressed by far-fetched tales of wrestling tigers, or performing competent DIY tasks. Especially when the proponent is wearing RSI wrist supports." </p>