http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 19:13:26 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79595 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 12:53:20 +0000 Drylaw 79595@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How true. I pray that one day poor Ben Johnson may be exonerated. Who can forget his magnificant run? All the other guys were "oot their heids" as well so what the hell difference did it make? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79565 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 11:53:23 +0000 dvo4fun 79565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Npot being funny right? But all this talk about ATOS and not a werd about dartanian</p> <p>I do apologise. I'll go and have my afternoon nap now </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79555 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 11:43:16 +0000 beau-jolly 79555@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Mark66. Confused by this. How does a private company operating outside the NHS cut benefits, surely that's the governement's job? I don't suppose they give ATOS. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79554 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 11:37:02 +0000 Mark66 79554@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think the competition is over as far as getting humour out of the Olympics is concerned. ATOS win that hands down by sponsoring the Paralympics while cutting benefits to disabled people. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79538 Thu, 28 Jul 2011 09:06:20 +0000 be reasonable 79538@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Drugs do nothing for athletics; the only way to make 'running around’ interesting is to release several hungry top-carnivores onto the track just as the race starts. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79484 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 22:45:47 +0000 waylandsmithy 79484@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The team from Astra Zeneca are confident of victory in the Javelin. The latest carbon-fibre chest is equipped with no less than 5 grease nipples, intravenously fed with amphetamines. It takes a dedicated team of 12 men to transport the high-altitude enhanced whale lung to the venue. As the lung breathes in, the stadium involuntarily holds its breath. With an enormous gasp, the withered forearm slams the projectile the length of the pitch, through two officials and the stadium wall, eventually landing in Strasbourg.<br /> The remains are scooped into a bucket, into which the winner's medal is ceremoniously pushed. A minute's silence is held in awe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79476 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 22:27:48 +0000 waylandsmithy 79476@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Something to do with drugs companies sponsoring Olympic teams. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79475 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 22:22:41 +0000 Corrigan 79475@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>London 2012 organizers declare performance enhancing drugs amnesty.</p> <p>Take it away Wayland...</p> <p>(and think of a better headline.) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79463 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:29:38 +0000 waylandsmithy 79463@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Did I mention it had a nice arse? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79457 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:21:45 +0000 rickwestwell 79457@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Beautiful writing, wayland. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79454 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:53:53 +0000 waylandsmithy 79454@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A tightly-sinewed, knotted mass of laboratory-bred thigh, that burns all its resources in an explosive attempt at the high jump. In a blink of an eye, it consumes a litre of steroids, explodes skywards and dies simultaneously. Awarded the gold medal posthumously, the world record is now set at a mile and a half. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79453 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:50:38 +0000 waylandsmithy 79453@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Pretty sure 'First Utterance' by Comus is the best album ever, by all recognised measurements. They never won the Tour de France though, which some say gives Kraftwerk the edge.</p> <p>They're wrong, though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79451 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:41:23 +0000 Zadok the second 79451@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>My view: the final result is, in the case of the athlete, absolute. That is to say, your ultimate expression is, empirically, better than that of every other person who has attempted it (and demonstrably so by use of measurement).</p> <p>Whereas, with an artist of the pop / rock genre, you can have endless debates about whether Pet Sounds knocks Dark Side of the Moon into a cocked hat. There is no, measurable, best album or single. There is only a "best" as judged by the opinion of 'x' number of so-called experts (a bit like figure-skating, or floor-gymnastics. Hm)</p> <p>Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable to disqualify athletes who enjoy artificial performance-enhancement. </p> <p>If only they had such substances available to popular musicians, eh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79387 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:45:59 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 79387@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>They should swap the drugs over so that we have a field full of hurdlers off their tits on Ketamine, high jumpers too stoned to be bothered trying to jump over the bar and just laying on the comfy looking mat, and sprinters running away from particularly vivid hallucinations.</p> <p>Musicians on massive amounts of steroids wouldn't be nearly so interesting as athletes on smack though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79386 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:37:24 +0000 beau-jolly 79386@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>To remove hypocracy lets have a drug enhanced olympics. If they are really trying to push the boundries and don't care how much they damage themselves in the process let's see some real speed in the sprints </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28430#post-79346 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:44:33 +0000 William Pumpton 79346@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The untimely death of Amy Winehouse has resurrected an old pub table argument of mine.</p> <p>If an athlete/sports person is found to have used a 'banned substance' or 'performance enhancing drug' to obtain an accolade - they are demonised, outcast, stripped of their awards and shunned by fellow competitors.</p> <p>If a singer / song writer is exposed as being fond of illegal mind altering substances they are seen as edgy, a tortured talent and living life at the limit. They will have hundreds of column inches dedicated to their addiction, they will have fellow artists pledging help and sympathy, judges will sentence them with courses of 'help' again and again, they will get 'shout-outs' from other award winners at awards ceremonies.</p> <p>Two completely different ways of dealing with what I see as a similar issue.</p> <p>Personally I would like to see a common rule applied across the board as to strip another element of hypocrisy away from our current society.</p> <p>We could start with stripping any Beatle of all his gold discs and number one's where it could be proved that they wrote / performed using a recreational drug. All critically acclaimed Shane Magowan performances are to be removed from the archives if is proved that he was indeed of his tits at the time. There will be a full investigation of Bob Dylan's back catalogue. What about Lou Reed?</p> <p>Discuss... </p>