http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28429 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:45:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28429#post-79353 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:02:41 +0000 theumpire 79353@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I read your commercial in the Chat Room, so had to come here and see the sub for myself. Enjoyable 4*. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28429#post-79347 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:44:52 +0000 FraserWords 79347@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hat tip to friends at the pub last night, whose limericks were the main reason I posted nothing yesterday as when I got home I couldn't work out which of the three keyboards in front of me I was supposed to type on. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28429#post-79345 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 10:44:12 +0000 FraserWords 79345@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain’s world limerick-writing title hope Liam McSweeney was this morning being comforted by family and close friends after sensationally choking in the dying seconds of the championship final last night.<br /> McSweeney, holding a narrow lead in front of a hushed, tense crowd, was unable to find a final rhyme for the word ‘Nantucket’.<br /> The Ulsterman found himself presented with a winning break point:<br /> “A daring young man from Nantucket<br /> Kept bionic balls in a bucket<br /> When tempted by sin<br /> He’d plug them back in<br /> Saying “see how they glow when I….”<br /> “I’m gutted,” he told reporters, “An amphibrachic foot to the meter was playing to my strength, but I just couldn’t get that final rhyme. Cluck it? Duck it? Nope.”<br /> McSweeney was a hot favourite after romping to a semi-final victory with:<br /> “A clever young man from Caerphilly<br /> Possessed an inflatable willy<br /> When drunk on the stout<br /> He’d whip it right out<br /> Wave it around and look silly.”<br /> But his failure to rhyme Nantucket proved a turning point in a dramatic final against The Very Reverend Norman Hembury, Suffragan Bishop of Droitwich, who scored the winning points with a sensational topical bonus on:<br /> “Pippa’s accent was perfect cut glass –<br /> For an aristocrat she could pass<br /> But the pose fell apart<br /> When she trumped a great fart<br /> And said ‘Now what d’you think of my arse’?” </p>