http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 17:22:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349#post-153153 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 09:00:02 +0000 Oxbridge 153153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Saves me the bother, I guess. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349#post-153077 Wed, 12 Dec 2012 18:10:19 +0000 waylandsmithy 153077@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There must be some more stuff we can put out for recycling... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349#post-78884 Sun, 24 Jul 2011 20:16:18 +0000 ronseal 78884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>By the way, i added the phrases Mobile Marketing and Digital Marketing, as the search engines love those phrases</p> <p>Once we wrote headlines to catch the eye of the reader.</p> <p>Now we write taglines to catch the attention of an algorithm</p> <p>That's progress? Death, where is thy sting? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349#post-78881 Sun, 24 Jul 2011 20:13:51 +0000 ronseal 78881@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like it</p> <p>this is the sort of bullocks I read all day</p> <p>good stuff</p> <p>Keep sticking it to The Brand!</p> <p>Can I say one more thing. Any media commentator who uses the phrase 'Brand Beckham' is a complete and utter twat. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349#post-78880 Sun, 24 Jul 2011 20:00:02 +0000 Golgo13 78880@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice concept. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28349#post-78879 Sun, 24 Jul 2011 19:46:55 +0000 Oxbridge 78879@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rajinder Laxmai, a bullock cart driver from the slums of Goregaon, northern Mumbai, has announced plans to build up his brand recognition in order to win market share. This will be the heart of his second five-year growth strategy after the success of his first one enabled him to buy a 25% stake in the bullock itself.</p> <p>'Cart driving is a competitive market, with over 75,000 of us in Mumbai alone,' Laxmai explained to analysts in a power point presentation. 'One man goading a bullock to pull goods to market by sticking a stave coated in chilli powder up its arse probably looks much like any other. I am therefore exploring ways to differentiate myself through value-added service.'</p> <p>Rather than sell a daughter into prostitution to fund a big-bucks marketing drive through a major brand awareness firm, Laxmai has opted for a bottom-up whispering campaign through multiple local media. This will begin with viral poster campaign featuring a silhouette of his cart and the logo 'Not just any old bullocks'.</p> <p>'I've opted for English to appeal to the international market. You have to think big when it comes to establishing a strong brand identity and the joke doesn't really work in Marathi,' he explained. 'And my local customers can't read anyway.'</p> <p>As soon as he can afford the downpayment on a can of paint, Laxmai's cart will be painted royal blue and red, the colours of Mumbai's IPL team the Mumbai Indians, and will tour the centre of Goregaon offering rides to children bringing home cowpats for the evening fire. If this raises enough awareness, the empire may soon expand to a second cart.</p> <p>Long-term, Laxmai hopes to be able to buy celebrity endorsement from the transvestite singers at a wedding he saw over the road a few weeks ago. 'Sex sells, I'm told,' he remarked. 'I wouldn't know, personally, it never really worked out with my wife after my mother accidentally dropped that lead weight on her in the kitchen for not bringing enough dowry with her.' </p>