http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28063 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 22 May 2013 15:55:45 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28063#post-77597 Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:33:21 +0000 f0zz 77597@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The media mogul's troubles took a bizarre turn for the worse yesterday when his own privacy was compromised by the arrival of what could only be described as a 'sinister presence' that refuses to leave.</p> <p>"I was polishing my dome in the study," confirmed the magnate, "when this inexplicable draught came from under the door, followed by unearthly moaning. I thought at first it might have been Rebekah, straining off the effects of prison stodge in the en suite, but then a disembodied wail pierced the gloom, followed by a ghoulish stream of rhetoric that somehow said nothing at all despite using lots of words. Then it went quiet for a while and I thought I heard muffled dialling, followed by an eerie whisper of 'what should I say now, Ed?' That was when I really became spooked, and fled the room in terror. As I did so, the words "Where you're going, grandad, you won't need phones..' echoed after me, on a tremulous note. Ever since then I've barely managed an hour's kip."</p> <p>Last night Andy Coulson denied any involvement as the increasingly bitter media scandal escalated into new and more macabre territory. "Oddly enough I can recall being aroused by a sinister presence in the wee small hours, but I just mumbled 'not tonight, David' and went back to sleep." </p> <p>After reportedly being rebuffed by Peter Venkman, Murdoch was yesterday locked in desperate talks with landlord 'Harold Meaker', in a bid to reopen the offices of 70s sleuth spirits Rentaghost. "They are extraordinary fellers," he confirmed in a press statement. "And clearly money is no object. I just need this translucent apparition out my life." </p>