http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 16:52:01 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-90487 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 08:53:50 +0000 dvo4fun 90487@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Rather worryingly I didn't remember reading this one and was surprised to find I'd already commented. Even more so when I read that I'd awarded 2 gold stars. </p> <p>In fact I now see that I hadn't awarded any at all so am rectifying. Or will do if I remember to do so after clicking the 'send post' button. This bloody whatchermacallit memory thing is getting worse. At leat I think it is. How would I tell </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-90423 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:44:30 +0000 JohnA 90423@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, the puns get worse with the passage of time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-90417 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:22:43 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 90417@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Still brilliant </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-90414 Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:14:42 +0000 waylandsmithy 90414@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Too early for an 80s revival? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77622 Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:46:02 +0000 waylandsmithy 77622@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmm, comedy surgery: a rich vein to plunder! I wondered if this was too rough in the middle, but then I remembered I'm really squeamish, so it probably wasn't too bad. And it didn't seem to work when I made it more sterile. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77583 Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:51:02 +0000 Golgo13 77583@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not sure if you're trying to build a new genre (<a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27851">comedy surgery</a>) or kill an old one (subs based on song lyrics), but either way, I salute you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77574 Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:24:01 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 77574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Now this is the best way to apologise, absolutely brilliant.</p> <p>3rd and 4th paragraphs, taken in isolation and read outside of the rest of the piece are obviously not funny at all, and actually quite disturbing. But while reading them as part of the overall sub I was pissing myself laughing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77515 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 20:25:45 +0000 waylandsmithy 77515@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fair point FraserWords. I'll get my coat, as soon as I've reported myself to the pun police. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77510 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 20:09:00 +0000 FraserWords 77510@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Only the loan knee... any chance of quitting again, Wayland? By the way, is this the same surgeon who upset one-hit wonder Yazz when he told her the only way was up? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77491 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:21:32 +0000 Mr Target 77491@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hip-op music, eh? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77484 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:11:36 +0000 dvo4fun 77484@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Truly awful punch line; take a House Point &amp; 2x Gold Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77483 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:08:07 +0000 saltire 77483@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Little pieces of her heart..'<br /> Good to see you back.It's been too long.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77482 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:00:12 +0000 wallster 77482@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ah, you're back. Can't keep a good pie down eh?</p> <p>Bloody awful punch line that. I loved it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=28039#post-77479 Mon, 18 Jul 2011 17:51:38 +0000 waylandsmithy 77479@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>80s pop legend Huey Lewis is suing his orthopaedic surgeon Dr. Nigel Trent, after being fitted with a cube-shaped hip replacement 'for a joke'. Lewis (61) nearly died during the operation, which left him in crippling agony and paralysed down his right side.</p> <p>"The surgeon was chatting with one of the nurses, and she mentioned my smash hit 'hip to be square'. I saw a smile cross his face, but I thought nothing more of it", explained Lewis. "When I woke up after the op, all the staff were giggling as they showed me a replica of the square hip joint they'd fitted."</p> <p>Lewis was appalled. "I tried to move, but the pain from my right hip was excrutiating. I could feel the point of the metal cube grinding against my pelvis." Lewis had barely moved when the edge of the block began to saw through the sciatic nerve: "I blacked out. I don't know how long I was out for, but I woke up laying in a pool of liquid on the floor."</p> <p>"My hair was matted with sick and I'd been passing blood. My leg was in spasm, and every spasm took the unbearable pain a notch higher. I was desperately clawing at the stitches, trying to get this abomination out of me. I just didn't find the joke funny at all."</p> <p>It's not the first time the controversial surgeon has been in hot water. The patent office is refusing to accept any more letters from Dr. Trent, following a string of bogus applications for patents on hearts made of glass, gold and wood. Trent previously faced a criminal investigation when he was a junior doctor, following the death of Janis Joplin in 1970. Little pieces of her heart were found at the hospital where he was training, many of which had been broken deliberately. No formal charges were made.</p> <p>But the surgeon's lowest point came in 1986, when he was arrested in Roy Orbison's bedroom just weeks after performing knee surgery on the star. Carrying a surgical saw and a cloth soaked in chloroform, the doctor explained to police that he was just trying to retrieve a patella that belonged to him. "I don't know what Orbison is crying about. I told him it was only the loan knee". </p>