http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 21:12:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78175 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 11:52:28 +0000 waylandsmithy 78175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm hoping it could be as much as a pound!</p> <p>I actually subbed the 'Greece' one first:<br /> <a href="http://newsthump.com/2011/07/21/greece-forced-to-abandon-the-euro-in-favour-of-paypal/">Greece adopts paypal</a></p> <p>I wrote it last night, but it's too similar a subject to run after today's FP, and only has a short shelf-life. So I thought I'd see if someone else liked it. They did, so I subbed this one as well (it's been around for ages) and got a second bite! </p> <p>Please don't think you've got rid of me, though. I will continue to loiter like a bad smell. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78164 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 11:19:46 +0000 beau-jolly 78164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Blimee! 70% of the advertisng revenue eh.<br /> &lt;rummages through archive&gt;<br /> Wayland. Do please let us know what 70% looks like, but privately, there may well be a stampede. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78158 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 11:02:21 +0000 Golgo13 78158@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://newsthump.com/2011/07/21/desperate-x-factor-wannabes-flock-to-new-center-of-attention-parcs/" rel="nofollow">http://newsthump.com/2011/07/21/desperate-x-factor-wannabes-flock-to-new-center-of-attention-parcs/</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78144 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 09:41:25 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 78144@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I reckon Wayland has secured consultancy work on actually making this a reality, and doesn't want it publishing as a joke, which would undermine the credibility of the whole thing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78141 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 09:34:09 +0000 OllieP 78141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Butlins? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78140 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 09:33:21 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 78140@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oooooh, where's it going? Somewhere nice? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-78135 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 09:05:29 +0000 waylandsmithy 78135@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry to bump this but editors, please don't run it! It's going elsewhere. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76896 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 08:32:43 +0000 fun and games 76896@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Another cracker. One typo: discriminatory in final para, which will almost certainly be ignored, before this is deservedly C and P to the FP. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76803 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 14:09:57 +0000 allmyownstunts 76803@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great stuff WLS. It's got that uncomfortable shiver of 'you read it here first' about it, like all the best subs. Stars and kisses. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76794 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 12:43:57 +0000 waylandsmithy 76794@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers VCG, now updated! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76789 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:54:56 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76789@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it.</p> <p>How about an X Factor winner's package, where everybody pays lots of attention to them on the first day and then ignores them for the rest of the week? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76782 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:16:26 +0000 button 76782@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"All of the staff can take a punch"</p> <p>Love it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76781 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:12:48 +0000 OllieP 76781@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good work wayland. But I hope they don't upgrade the one in Thetford Forest. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27816#post-76776 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 10:59:52 +0000 waylandsmithy 76776@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A new concept in holidays where people can pretend to be celebrities is taking off across the country. The 'all-exclusive' resorts are already booked up for the next 18 months, as wannabes rush to Center of Attention Parcs to spend a week-in-the-life of their idols. </p> <p>Visitors can choose from a huge range of self-indulgent activities. As always, the site is based around a large swimming pool, but this one has two shallow ends, and a nail bar in the middle. "The li-los are very flattering, they really complement my complexion", explained Stacey Luton, a future Oscar-winning actress from Dunstable. "And I really like the special flumes which make your screaming louder to attract attention, without messing up your hair".</p> <p>The site is equipped with a fully-functioning media room, which produces daily resort papers about the previous day's activities. Holiday makers compete for column inches by acting selfishly, and they can barge their way up the leader board from Z to A-list. An inflatable entourage is available for hire, with a creepy stalker thrown in at extra cost. </p> <p>The celebrity rehab spa is proving very popular. Treatments range from simple exhaustion, to full-blown crack cold turkey. This ultimate treatment includes some candid photos of the client's lowest moments, and the use of a 'Doherty' hat to wear for the rest of the holiday, so the site photographers know they're really special.</p> <p>Photos taken on site are available at reception: "For only £5.99, you can snatch them from an actor, and scream abuse at them for invading your privacy. I think that's really good value", explained Brian Hemel, some-day darling of the party scene. </p> <p>There are a number of onsite restaurants, featuring frankly ludicrous menus with ingredients that you can pretend to have heard of. All of the staff can take a punch. Future model Sandra Slough raved about the service: "It's great being a celebrity. I slapped the waiter because my oysters were all icky and they didn't have any ketchup. I jumped straight from D-list to B-list! I hope a talent scout spots me, this life style is all I've ever dreamed of."</p> <p>The karaoke bar features a state-of-the-art vocoder, and a daily 'X Factor' prize can be won. Winners will be told repeatedly that they're the greatest singer in living memory, before being ignored for the rest of the holiday. And at the end of a self-absorbed day, you can retire to a gaudy chalet, built in the traditional Alderley Edge mock-gothic tudor renaissance style. The topless sunbathing gardens are very private, and can only be seen through a telephoto lens from 'Paparazzi Hill'. </p> <p>The new resorts have had their critics. An 'orange people only' policy has been described as descriminatory, and some have complained that the Size Zero dressing-up boutique is too realistic. But so far, everyone who has stayed has filled in very positive feedback forms, with nothing but praise for themselves.</p> <p>Hat tip to Vertically Challenged Giant </p>