http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 22:18:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793&page=2#post-77052 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:45:37 +0000 Danny 77052@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Why is the part between a woman's chest and hips called a waist? </p> <p>Because you could easily fit another pair of breasts in there. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793&page=2#post-77018 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:48:55 +0000 button 77018@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thats much better, and it made me laugh. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793&page=2#post-77006 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:08:23 +0000 The All New Jeni B 77006@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How apt, given the topic of this thread. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793&page=2#post-77000 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:46:33 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 77000@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Found a picture, we'll give that a go. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76998 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:40:17 +0000 button 76998@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not sure about the cat VCG. How about a picture of the Cerne Abbas giant. Its a giant, like you, and it has a big willy, which is funny.</p> <p>If I knew how I'd post a picture here, but I don't, so if someone else could that'd be great. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76992 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:09:20 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76992@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hmmm, colour and pattern seems to be determined by the email address somehow, rather than being randomly generated when you update it. So if I use this email address I'm stuck with sky blue.</p> <p>Maybe it's time to find a gravatar. How about a scared looking cat? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76991 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:02:13 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76991@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Button - I seem to have done. Changed the email address I was registered under and when it was updated I'd changed to the new light blue colour scheme.</p> <p>Which I've just this second realised is perlously close to Citeh's colours, which I should probably do something about. A bit more tinkering is in order I think... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76965 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:48:33 +0000 beau-jolly 76965@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The things said after 12 pints of wife beater tend to be fully recorded by the young officer in attendance. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76963 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:43:57 +0000 button 76963@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>VCG have you changed your colour scheme? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76953 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:22:54 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76953@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There is isn't there? Maybe it was so that people who weren't present could share in the wisdom, like this one.</p> <p>Or to make sure people remember things the next morning that were said after 12 pints of Stella. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76947 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:09:40 +0000 SpankyMonkey 76947@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There is a faint irony in having to write down something that is memorable.... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76945 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:01:22 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76945@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Unfortunately I wasn't actually there when she said it. My housemates kept a piece of paper on the wall and wrote anything memorable/stupid/stupidly memorable that somebody said on it.</p> <p>This appeared on there one day, probably after one of those girly chats that we never get to hear, where it turns out they're every bit as filthy as blokes and probably more so. And while "I'll let you play with mine" might have been a good reply at the time, going up to her several days later and saying "I hear you're looking for a willy to play with for a day, well it just so happens that I have one available." might have come across as a little more creepy. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76938 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 10:38:24 +0000 doggone 76938@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And you couldn't think of a compromise ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76929 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 10:11:32 +0000 Zadok the second 76929@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>A girl I shared a house with at uni once</blockquote></p> <p>The clue here is in the "once", I feel. Any more and that'd be stalking. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76926 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 10:07:38 +0000 Golgo13 76926@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"Tell you what, I'll let you play with mine"...</p> <p>No? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76922 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 10:00:18 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 76922@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A girl I shared a house with at uni once said "I'd like to have a willy for a day, I think it would be fun to play with", so that's kind of close. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76910 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 09:23:00 +0000 The All New Jeni B 76910@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ironduke, you'd be first on my list for emasculation.</p> <p>If it hadn't already been done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76904 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 09:07:11 +0000 Ironduke 76904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Or to summarise:</p> <p>'Blah Blah Blah... Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...admiring our boobs' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76878 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:52:59 +0000 The All New Jeni B 76878@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can say in all honesty, I have <em>never</em> thought to myself, "Ooh, if I was a bloke, I'd just spend my day having wank after wank, or even just admiring my knob."</p> <p>I <em>have</em> thought, "If I'm ever reincarnated, I'm coming back as a bloke so that I can go to the pub for a pint after work every night, demand that someone else cooks for me, completely abdicate all responsibility for child-care and consider it socially acceptable to belch/fart/scratch my arse/readjust my tackle whenever I feel like it."</p> <p>And yes, making you bastards pay for all of the above is plenty reason to get out of bed and stop admiring our boobs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76875 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:41:42 +0000 Quaz 76875@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Golgo, great idea for a post. Maybe something in there about moobs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76840 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:04:52 +0000 OllieP 76840@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As long as it doesn't also keep me bifid it sounds alright to me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76839 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 16:59:39 +0000 Golgo13 76839@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well I might even post it in the writers' room if I can figure out where it is going...</p> <p>The yoghurt is Activia with Bifidus regularis to keep you regular. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76837 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 16:52:25 +0000 OllieP 76837@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like the sound of this new yoghurt, where can I buy it?</p> <p>But I like the line about the ball-bag even more. And the bit above about the sex change. Insightful and amusing. We need more subs like that. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76835 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 16:48:01 +0000 Golgo13 76835@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd be interested to hear if women say the same kind of thing, when they get together for a natter over coffee </p> <p>Woman 1 : "Mmm, lovely coffee, Liz...Tell you what, though, if I had a nob, I'd just stay in bed all day giving myself hand-jobs"<br /> woman 2 : "Yeah...I'd probably just keep looking under the covers and admiring my loverly phallus..."<br /> Woman 3 : "Or just scratch away at my ball-bag!"</p> <p>...</p> <p>Woman 1 : "So anyway, I was feeling really bloated until I tried this new yoghurt..."</p> <p>etc... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76819 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 15:46:40 +0000 Brenda SugarTits69 76819@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As a hot, horny, firm-breasted lesbian, many's the day I've lost to staying in bed, groping and pawing at my awesome, naked, oiled, D-cup fun-bags and frigging myself to a cappuccino froth, but I just can't shake my fetish for middle-aged slightly overweight balding guys to lure into the role-play love-making sessions I share with my hot Japanese girlfriend Akiko. </p> <p>So out of bed I must get. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76787 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:35:52 +0000 be reasonable 76787@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I’ve often wondered why, if nature has seen fit to equip one with a) breasts and b) a clitoris, one would ever bother to get out of bed. Surely making men miserable can’t be that much fun? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76773 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 10:28:38 +0000 Oxbridge 76773@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...well I imagine if she actually gave him womens' breasts, he wouldn't complain. In fact he is probably spending most of the day just gazing at them in a full-length mirror. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76767 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 09:33:17 +0000 Golgo13 76767@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><strong>Jilted wife performs full sex-change on sleeping husband</strong></p> <p>"Just chopping his cock off was too good for him" seethed Cheng Chun-Mei, wife of love-rat husband Ma-Hao, as reporters gathered to see her being led in to answer questions at Chubei police station in Hsinchu county, Taiwan.</p> <p>Cheng Ma-Hao (35) called for medical assistance when he discovered he had a set of D-cup breasts and a crudely fashioned, yet functioning vagina after his wife had administered a full sex change in a fit of rage following the discovery of his infidelity with a bar hostess in Hsinchu City. </p> <p>"I woke up and went to the bathroom, but there was nothing there!" explained an astonished Ma-Hao. "Then I noticed the breasts. I thought I was having a dream, so I pinched myself."</p> <p>Not having access to surgical instruments, Chun-Mei (26) performed the gender reassignment procedure with whatever she could find in the kitchen.</p> <p>Medical experts say that her vaginaplasty technique was similar to what is known as the Wilson Method, which is initially performed like a traditional penile inversion, until the vaginal-vault creation step, in which the vault of the vagina is left unfinished, as a raw surface, then lined with a skin graft harvested from the buttocks. The penile skin is used to create the labia minora, clitoral hooding, and the anterior fourchette (frenulum); the glans penis is used to create the clitoris, and the scrotum is used to create the labia majora.</p> <p>For the breast implants, she used tennis balls wrapped in socks, inserted via incisions made under each arm-pit.</p> <p>His wife's furious attack also included a fast-track hormone therapy course, which had feminised his curves, reduced body hair and raised his voice.</p> <p><em>...not sure where this is going...</em> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76760 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 09:04:45 +0000 FraserWords 76760@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, they'd have to stitch mine back on first. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=27793#post-76749 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 08:15:26 +0000 doggone 76749@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well this one that won't be lining up. </p>